🚀 go-pugleaf

It may be irrelevant drivel, but it made me laugh!

Instead of constantly posting the FAQ to the newgroups, have you considered
getting someone to put it on their website?  I'd be happy to put the
Adjective Army FAQ v1.4 on my website.

--

Michael Lewis

Michae...@ic24.net
www.blackrose.ic24.net

http://www.alladvantage.com/home.asp?refid=FIU201 - click on this link to
earn money for surfing the web!
If you decide to join then when you are asked if you were referred by
anyone, please use my ID# FIU-201

The Unknown James <uj@of.the.a.a> wrote in message
news:HQMb2LAj9Jj4EwxU@news.utb...
>
> Welcome to the semi-interactive (and potentially harmful) Adjective Army
> FAQ Experience. Please keep all arms, legs and genitalia (should you be
> equipped with such) inside the FAQ until it comes to a complete halt.
> Helpful suggestions will be disposed of, unless they arrive with money
> attached. Make all money orders payable to me, The Unknown James. The
> author cannot be held responsible for any flame wars which start as a
> result of the posting of this FAQ.
>
>
> This FAQ was not written by a single individual. It was found etched
> into the side of a mountain by lightning. If you have been plagiarised,
> you must understand that it was an Act of God, not a breach of
> copyright. Take it up with your church.
>
> Last Updated 17 Jan 2000
>
> *************************
> Table of Contents
> *************************
>
> 0.1)    Latest News and Information
>
> 1)      Who are the Adjective Army?
> 1.1)    So you're gamers?
> 1.2)    Can I have an Adjective?
> 1.3)    I'm going to have an Adjective anyway.
> 1.4)    Specifically, who are you?
>
> 2)      What do you do?
> 2.1)    What is Adjectivization?
> 2.2)    Help! I'm being Adjectivized!
> 2.3)    Are you sure you're not just trolls?
> 2.4)    What don't you do?
> 2.5)    I love you guys. Where can I find out more?
> 2.6)    I think you're making this up as you go along
> 2.7)    Why is there no part 2.7?
>
> 3)      What is alt.fan.adjective-army?
> 3.1)    What is considered on-topic in AFAA?
> 3.2)    My ISP hates you and won't add AFAA
> 3.3)    Is AFAA a trolling group?
> 3.4)    Who are these troll groups, and why are you crossposting there?
> 3.5)    Who are your enemies?
>
> 4)      Anything else?
>
>
>
> *************************
> 0.1) Latest News and Information
> *************************
>
> I've a funny feeling that this one will piss people off. I recommend them
to
> bite me.
>
>
> *************************
> 1) Who are the Adjective Army?
> *************************
>
>         We are the collective of the regulars (of many years in some
> cases) from a load of weirdo newsgroups. We are characterised by our
> use of Adjectives in our names - is this simple enough for you?
>
>
> *************************
> 1.1) So you're gamers?
> *************************
>
>         Not exactly, no. We obviously began as gamers, but this is no
> longer the case. While many of us still play games, our newsgroups of
> origin have become off-topic centres of drivel. The simple reason for
> this is that Red Alert has (in many peoples' opinions) been surpassed in
> gameplay by other games, and Tiberian Sun was absolute crap from day
> one.
>
>         As a direct result of this, we have ceased to be entirely
> satisfied with our Usenet experience, and are out to liven it up a
> little. Sadly, this includes the crossposting of controversial articles
> into other groups. I would like to make it clear that this is not
> trolling - this is simply a Different Opinion. If you disagree with our
> Different Opinion, this is an issue with you, rather than us. We suggest
> you killfile us, because we're full of Different Opinions (among other
> things).
>
>
> *************************
> 1.2) Can I have an Adjective?
> *************************
>
>         It would be foolish of us to presume that we can prevent you
> from changing your posting name to include an Adjective. However, we
> would like to strongly advise against it - our rules state that you are
> not permitted to use an Adjective without permission. After a suitable
> period of apprenticeship your abilities will be assessed and your
> application considered on it's merits.
>
>         Should you wish to be included in the Adjective Army, there are
> two paths you can choose. The first is simple - you do as we do for a
> while, and eventually we'll let you in. This generally involves
> following the rules we go by, and helping out (should you be able to)
> with valid queries in either alt.games.tiberian-sun or
> alt.games.redalert.
>
>         The second way in which you can be given membership is
> through an act of significant importance to us. This could, in theory,
> be the starting of a large flame war between two rival groups (such as a
> long discussion of RTS games). Alternatively, you could dazzle us with
> your wit and ability to troll.... Uh, I mean, ability to debate with
> people :o)
>
>         Should you opt for the second alternative, please crosspost all
> attempts to accomplish your aims to alt.fan.adjective-army so that we
> can review them.
>
>
> *************************
> 1.3) I'm going to have an Adjective anyway.
> *************************
>
>         All we can say in that case is "Good luck". Should you survive
> the barrage of flames, you will probably be deemed either killfile
> fodder, or a worthy adversary and be offered membership. It is best to
> assume the former when deciding whether to prematurely take on an
> Adjective.
>
>         If you should choose to take an adjective without authorization,
> we will never let you post to Usenet without 10 trolls following on
> your heels, making it well known to every group who you are and why
> we dislike you. We will also let them know that we're only there because
> you are, and this will cause hatred to fall on you. But we're nice guys
> really.
>
>
> *************************
> 1.4) Specifically, who are you?
> *************************
>
>         OK, this is the part where I forget half the names, and
> everybody gets mad at me. But I shall try to list everybody anyway
> (in chronological order where possible):
>
>         The Legendary Burghy
>         The Legendary Enforcer
>         The Intermittent Phil
>         (The) Dark Samurai
>         The Mystical Xinhuan
>         The Unknown James
>         The Obsessive Charles
>         The Supreme Andrew
>         The Mythical Alex
>         The Maniacal Kit
>         The Arcane Chas
>         The Profound Eol
>         The Inane Dirk
>         The Random Leon
>         The Obdurate Ozjish
>         The Witless Child
>         The (unassigned) Tom
>         The Ambiguous Antti
>         The Whimsical Reycov
>         The Omniscient Blade
>
>         All those people I forgot, e-mail me (unkn...@freeuk.com) to
> remind me.... In addition to this, we have some Adjectives pending for
> the following people (following their completion of apprenticeship):
>
>         Hex
>         MuuMiMan
>
>         There may well be others in this category too, but it's not
> worth my energy looking them all up. If you feel you belong in this
> category, then e-mail me ( unkn...@freeuk.com ).
>
>         We also have honorary positions open for those people who we
> feel deserve inclusion in our "organization" (and who participate in our
> activities), but who may not wish to be affiliated with us directly.
> Such people include:
>
> - (The) Wild Bill
>   A troll from another group (and by troll, I really mean "Usenet
>   Satirist"). He came along to AGTS with some friends, and we ended up
>   getting on pretty well. Currently on a crusade against pedophiles on
>   the Internet.
>
> - The Virgin Hans
>   The guy who coined the phrase "Adjective Assholes" (which I now use
> in
>   preference to Adjective Army), and our most mighty home-grown troll.
>   The choice of Adjective was not my own.
>
> - Zagadka
>   This is Brian. He deserves an Adjective, but he also deserves a
>   beating. He has decided to forego both these things.
>
> - Dyl
>   One of our most prized regulars back in AGRA, he is believed to have
>   got a Social Life.
>
> - Stevie (The Raven)
>   Another of our regulars from AGRA, he too left in pursuit of glory in
>   the Quake 2 clan ladder or something...
>
>
> *************************
> 2) What do you *do*?
> *************************
>
> We, as a group, exist to interact with each other. To exchange ideas,
> experiences, opinions, humour and occasionally even sympathy. Tiberian
> Sun is the latest in a series of RTS games which serves to gives us a
> common interest. Newcomers to this community fall into five categories;
>
> 1/ Those who require help with the game - these usually receive
>    assistance, along with such good-natured banter (or otherwise) as we
>    believe the tone of their post warrants.
>
> 2/ Those who, having tasted the nature of the community, wish to join in
>    and become "one of us" - these are admitted, rejected or ignored
>    depending on their merits.
>
> 3/ Those who think we are all arrogant, ill-mannered kids who have
>    nothing better to do than sit around making fun of the less fortunate
>    and flaming the innocent - these are generally ridiculed by all and
>    sundry, or are immediately accepted into the AA.
>
> 4/ Lamers (generally [but not always] users of AOL or Hotmail) - these
>    are frequently kill-filed on sight although sometimes they are
>    lightly toasted first.
>
> 5/ Trolls - these fall into two categories, "good" and "bad". The "good"
>    one's have the ability to compose a rational argument and to express
>    themselves well (Hans springs to mind as a good example) - these are
>    often actually *welcomed* as a relief from the tedium of answering
>    lame questions, etc. The "bad" ones get a severe grilling from *all*
>    of the regulars until they crawl back under their bridge.
>
> We have recently started up a new tradition (they all have to begin
> somewhere) - Adjectivizing other groups. This process generally involves
> our arrival in the group, and the implementation of similar techniques
> to those to be found in our other newsgroups. We talk to them, talk to
> newbies, and generally expose them to our own style of banter :o)
>
>
> *************************
> 2.1) What is Adjectivization?
> *************************
>
> Put quite simply, it is "what we do", applied to a newsgroup near you.
> We will choose a newsgroup every so often which we believe requires
> our
> attention. The aim of this is to get the regulars of that group to see
> the lighter side of Usenet, not to annoy everybody in sight. We do,
> however, have rules for this which Adjective Army members (referred to
> as the "participants" from here) must follow:
>
> 1) Participants must not change account details during it - if people
>     wish to killfile us, we should let them
> 2) Profanity is to be discouraged - if you can't troll without swearing,
>     you're doing it wrong
> 3) All posts related to Adjectivization must be crossposted to AFAA. We
>     ask that participants do *not* crosspost to AGTS or AGRA. That is
>     not what those groups are for.
> 4) On-Topic threads should not be targeted (unless they are just asking
>     to be trolled, in which case it is acceptable).
>
> Beyond these rules, what you do is entirely up to you. Bad Jokes� are
> acceptable, so long as they are clean. Above all, make it fun both for
> you and the people you're targeting. And make it funny. And remember, no
> trip has been wasted if you make new friends, annoy more people, and
> end
> up in a few killfiles...
>
>
> *************************
> 2.2) Help! I'm being Adjectivized!
> *************************
>
> Do not fear - this is only a temporary problem. As our rules state, it
> is not a permanent arrangement - we are merely here for a visit. Some
> tips:
>
> - Do not try to convince us we have no life, and are just being stupid.
>   We know this. It really doesn't faze us.
>
> - There are very few insults we haven't heard before. If you are going
>   to object to us, please be original.
>
> - Killfiles *will* work. We don't change our From: lines in our headers,
>   and if you really feel you have to killfile us, do so. However, we
>   believe you'll be missing out, and since many regulars may accept us
>   and respond, you may have no choice anyway.
>
> - Complaints to ISPs are futile. Specifically, complaints to Zagadka and
>   The Unknown James's ISPs are impossible. Those members who do not
> have
>   untraceable accounts are careful with what they say. There really is
>   no point in reporting people - it will only cause you pain and
>   suffering in the long run, for both you and your newsgroup. This is
>   not a threat, it is a fact.
>
> Also, remember that in participating, you are joining our Hall of Fame.
> Currently, we have successfully Adjectivized the following groups:
>
>         alt.games.grand-theft-auto
>
> The following people were good sports, and were a source of much
> humour:
>
>         Deb (AGGTA)
>         Tiffany (AGGTA)
>         Scott Freeman (AGGTA)
>         Doctor Bob (AGGTA)
>         James Heaver (AGGTA)
>
> If you think you deserve to be on this list, tell me :o)
>
> In addition to this, if you say anything which is especially witty or
> amusing, then your quote may well find its way into AGRA.EST - a file
> of all the funny things we hear in the course of our travels. This is,
> despite what you may have heard, a great honour.
>
>
> *************************
> 2.3) Are you sure you're not trolls?
> *************************
>
>         Look, this is not a difficult concept to understand, really it
> isn't... We are not trolls. Our purpose in your newsgroup is not to
> annoy - it is merely to have fun. Here are some helpful hints
> to let you figure this out for yourself:
>
> We do not crosspost to any newsgroups other than our own
> We do not flame those who do not deserve it
> We do not say things merely to annoy others
> We do not stay longer than a few days (in general)
> We do not constantly change headers to evade killfiles
>
>         In short, we are not trolling. We are just visiting your
> newsgroup. Please try to make this as fun for yourselves as it is for
> us.
>
>
> *************************
> 2.4) What don't you do?
> *************************
>
>         We do not "debate" with warez or hacking groups. There are two
> reasons for this. The first is that we prefer not to be affiliated with
> people whose actions may be considered as being immoral by others. The
> second is that, invariably, in these groups you find people who are
> better than you. While this has not proven to be the case yet, in an
> infinite universe it can only be a matter of time... It is not a good
> idea to attract too much negative attention from such groups.
>
>         Should a group ask that we discontinue discussions with them
> which are not relevant to that group, we will try to either resist the
> temptation to continue posting to that newsgroup, or bring the
> discussion back to an on-topic one. It is not our intention to flood a
> group with off-topic discussion when we can so easily flood it with on-
> topic discussion. It is a lot harder to make people stop posting to a
> thread if it is on-topic, and even harder if it is based on current
> events. Having said that, we are not making any promises. Off topic
> is fun.
>
>         We are against the self righteous (aside from ourselves). This
> includes "net gods" and "netcops" (affectionately (or otherwise)
> referred to as NetKKKops from time to time (and usually by me)).
> Reporting people to their ISPs is generally to be frowned upon, unless
> they display a total disregard for manners and good taste. Flaming is
> always preferable, except in the case of spammers (AllAdvantage,
> Pyramid
> scams, that sort of thing). In these situations, reporting them is all
> you can do. Unless their headers contain a static IP address for them,
> in which case you crosspost the IP to some interesting groups. It should
> be pointed out that if anybody wishes to complain about Adjective Army
> members, you will have severe difficulty. Our two most prolific posters
> use untraceable accounts with no "Terms of Service" agreement, and the
> others always keep within the rules set out by their ISPs.
>
>         Humour is of key importance in posts - it is a far better weapon
> that simple flames and profanity. Should what a member of the AA says
> be especially amusing, the quote will be put into the AGRA.EST file - a
> collection of our most amusing comments. These quotes are collected by
> The Inane Dirk (when present), or saved for when he *is* present. In
> addition to humour, good taste is also important. Crossposts to
> technical support groups are not to be advised - if people require
> genuine help, it doesn't seem fair to bug them. Queries about how to
> complete level twelve of Zoigsplatters IV are not requests for genuine
> help, and may be targeted accordingly should they have comic potential.
>
>
> *************************
> 2.5) I love you guys. Where can I find out more?
> *************************
>
>         I'm sorry, but if you're male, you're out of luck. The Adjective
> Army doesn't swing that way (or, if they do, it's only with each other).
> However, should you wish to find out more, drop by our newsgroups and
> say hello. The chances are we'll greet you pleasantly enough, and after
> quickly looting through your possessions, we'll make you feel at home.
>
>
> *************************
> 2.6) I think you're making this up as you go along
> *************************
>
> We are.
>
>
> *************************
> 3) What is alt.fan.adjective-army?
> *************************
>
> It's our "hangout". Where we coexist in peace, harmony, and flames. It's
> a nice place, really, if you ignore certain people. It's usually the
> place where all our more amusing threads get crossposted to, from
> various newsgroups we are trolling and/or Adjectivizing.
>
>
> *************************
> 3.1) What is considered on-topic in AFAA?
> *************************
>
> Everything. Except turkey. Do not ask why.
>
>
> *************************
> 3.2) My ISP hates you and won't add AFAA
> *************************
>
> Contrary to popular belief (and a lot of nasty rumours), subscription to
> AFAA is not a necessity. It has been known for people to survive whole
> lifetimes without it. These lifetimes have not been long, but this is
> irrelevant. Ask your news admin to add AFAA - if they refuse, then this
> just shows that they're sensible. Should this happen, leave your ISP and
> become a nomad. Alternatively, sign up with Altopia at
> http://www.altopia.com/ for a great news service.
>
>
> *************************
> 3.3) Is AFAA a trolling group?
> *************************
>
> Most certainly not. Well, sort of. It depends. Every member of the
> Adjective Army may use it for whatever they choose, and I personally use
> it as a crossposting center for trolling. However, mainly, it's just a
> generic annoyance group.
>
>
> *************************
> 3.4) Who are these troll groups, and why are you crossposting there?
> *************************
>
> - Alt.romath
> Home of the Order of Romath. Trolls. But cool trolls.
>
> - Alt.troll
> Your standard trolling group. This is just boring - where all the crap
> on the Internet gets crossposted to.
>
> - Alt.fan.utb
> This is the meeting place of the UTB (Under The Bridge), one of the
> Adjective Army's favourite groups. They are not trolls - they are Usenet
> Satirists, who fight people like pedophiles, and morons
>
> - Alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk
> - Alt.fan.karl-malden.nose
> My personal favourite groups. Home of cascades and floods. Fun :o)
>
>
> *************************
> 3.5) Who are your enemies?
> *************************
>
> People who knock my FAQ. Don't do that. Also, alt.games.starcraft is the
> natural enemy of the Adjective Army, because they suck.
>
>
> *************************
> 4) Anything Else?
> *************************
>
>         If you feel I've missed anything out, then you can keep it to
> yourself. I am not in the mood for hearing what a poor job I have done
> on this FAQ. However, if people have *suggestions* for what I could
> include in my next update, then feel free to tell me by replying to
> this post with the details of it - I don't really demand money (honest).
> People who just want to pick holes in the FAQ will have flames shoved
> back up *their* holes. I spent f**king ages on this thing (although
> you can't tell to look at it).... :o)
>
>
> --
> The Unknown James
>
>
> --
> The Unknown James
>
> Things I have been called so far (further suggestions welcome):
>
> A Troll
> A Moron
> An Under-Bridge-Denizen
> An Adjective Asshole
> A User of Silly Birds
> A Thirty Year Old
> A Twenty-Two Year Old
> A Homosexual
> A Crossposter