🚀 go-pugleaf

hahaha funny. Its true, its true!


Jimmery wrote:
> 
> f.a.q.
> 50 reasons why Xbox is for stupid people to own
> 
> 1. 733Mhz Processor. Big number innit? Stupids are easily impressed by
> big numbers. Shame they get confused over little details like CISC
> instruction handling, 128k cache and aluminum wiring.
> 
> 2. Good graphics chip. Stupids like pretty pictures.
> 
> 3. 64Mb RAM. Big numbers again? Yes this is another big number that
> gets stupids excited. Again the details like DDR, high latency and
> 133Mhz get ignored to avoid confusing the stupids.
> 
> 4. Unified Memory. Unlike every console that has gone before with
> specialized bits of memory dedicated to specific tasks, lets have a
> time sliced, high latency, jack of all trades and master of none
> memory. Call it "unified" and its sure to impress those who don't know
> shit about hardware.
> 
> 5. Special Video Features. Like realistic boob wobble. A sure sell to
> all those immature spotty freaks who have yet to experience the
> opposite sex.
> 
> 6. Programmable Graphics Unit. Because to stupid people, graphics is
> all that matters.
> 
> 7. Dual Pixel/Vertex Shaders. There are still xbox owners out there
> trying to figure out what a Vertex is.
> 
> 8. Made by Microsoft.
> 
> 9. Nvidia powered Graphics and Sound. For all those stupid people who
> are trying to figure out what the controllers are for, here is some
> nice pictures and music to keep you entertained.
> 
> 10. Most amount of Sound Channels of any console. In the world of
> stupids, those extra few channels really add to gameplay.
> 
> 11. Real-time Dolby Digital 5.1. An often heard cry of the stupid xbox
> owners, who never realized that the xbox was intended to be more than
> just an audio unit.
> 
> 12. 4 Controller ports. No decent 4 player games.
> 
> 13. Built-in Hard Drive. Which the stupids often tell us will never
> experience the same problems a HDD has under Windows 2000 such as
> fragmentation and bad sectors. What kernel was controlling the xbox
> HDD?? The win2k one? Thought so.
> 
> 14. Built-in Hard Drive reduces Loading Times. Apparently. Even thought
> there is little difference in the PS2 and xbox load times, i doubt
> stupids would ever check it out for themselves.
> 
> 15. Comfortable controllers with an analogue interface. For
> neanderthals and other primitive life forms.
> 
> 16. Uses DVD. Just don't tell the stupids that the other consoles also
> use DVD.
> 
> 17. Scratches, copies and plays music CDs with ease.
> 
> 18. Higher Quality DVD movie playback over PS2. For even more money
> than you had so shell out for the rip off machine in the first place.
> Suckers!
> 
> 19. Breakaway connectors for the controllers reduce Xbox falling. After
> all it is big and heavy with a delicate HDD in there, and you know how
> clumsy stupid people are dragging their knuckles across the floor all
> the time.
> 
> 20. 2 peripheral slots on the controller. You mean like the peripheral
> slots on other consoles that was barely used? Of course, to stupid
> people memory cards (per console) are a waste of money, but add ons
> (per controller) are a bargain.
> 
> 21. Harddrive means no need to buy a memory card ever. Stupids are
> direct descendants of cave dwellers, and have no need to leave their
> home. This renders the versatility of memory cards a bit useless.
> 
> 22. Built-in Ethernet Adaptor. Shame most stupids don't realize that
> their normal phone line wont work with this.
> 
> 23. PC-like Hardware Architecture for Developer ease. Not that it is a
> PC you understand. LOL!
> 
> 24. Best Launch games portfolio in Australian history ever. But not in
> America, Japan or Europe. Or anywhere else for that matter.
> 
> 25. First Successful American console ever, of course it has only been
> successful in America and no where else. The xboxes success in any
> particular country is inversely proportional to the average IQ of that
> country.
> 
> 26. Widescreen and HDTV support. Because to stupid people, graphics is
> all that matters.
> 
> 27. Growing Develop Support. Mainly from second rate developers. Not
> that stupids could tell the difference of course.
> 
> 28. Hard Drive allows custom soundtracks. That is of course if you can
> get the xbox to read your CDs without turning them into beer coasters.
> 
> 29. Broadband connection only. Which is ok seeing as stupids spend most
> of their time watching cable tv from their trailer home.
> 
> 30. Certain Games only on Xbox. Most of them are "stupid" editions,
> like DOA3 which is basically DOA2 with nicer graphics and more scantily
> clad females.
> 
> 31. HALO. Just don't tell the stupids that it will be out on the PC with
> online support and better resolution.
> 
> 32. Dead or Alive 3. A game that the stupids will tell you could not be
> done on any other console. Of course it could because its just DOA2
> with the graphics to keep those stupids happy and little else.
> 
> 33. Not so bright future for not so bright xbox owners.
> 
> 34. Over 200 games in Development. What the stupids don't know is that
> 99% of them are ports from the PS2, Gamecube or PC.
> 
> 35. Built-in controller force feedback. Of course stupids wont realize
> this has been standard with most games for the last 4 years.
> 
> 36. Ported Games from other systems receive updates. Again, like what
> has nearly always happened with other ports in the past.
> 
> 37. Getting some of the best PS2 games. Lets emphasize to the stupids
> that the xbox will be getting ports, ports and more ports.
> 
> 38. A game for every stupid person.
> 
> 39. LAN capabilities for games. On the assumption you can get your
> stupid friend to drag his xbox around to yours, and then return because
> he forgot his TV as well, and then realize that you don't have the right
> wires to connect the two.
> 
> 40. User-friendly interface. Well it has to be if you are marketing the
> xbox to stupid people.
> 
> 41. Constantly growing fanbase. Stupid people are not best known for
> their family planning expertise, and are reproducing at a scary rate.
> 
> 42. Popular developers develop for Xbox, but they always remember the
> target audience - which is why no xbox game has more than 15 hours of
> game time in there.
> 
> 43. More stupid games than the competition. The two best racers on the
> xbox are one that involves turning 90 corners every few meters, and
> another where you can only race against the clock. Joy.
> 
> 44. Home theatre setup compatible. Just don't tell the stupids that this
> is common in most modern electronic entertainment appliances.
> 
> 45. No constant game delays. Just games which can be completed in a few
> hours with no extra features or cheats.
> 
> 46. Optimized for the future. Which is why the xbox accepts patches,
> updates and bug fixes.
> 
> 47. Sleek in Design. Sleek to a stupid neanderthal is anything that is
> smaller than their extended anal cavity.
> 
> 48. No unfulfilled promises. Just lots of lies, hype and bullshit
> especially created for all you stupid people to put you into a world of
> denial.
> 
> 49. Fast and Responsive Customer Care Service. Which is of course why
> three of Japans biggest electronics retails refused to sell the xbox
> for a few weeks until Microsoft sorted their Customer Care Service.
> 
> 50. More unoriginal titles, more lies and bullshit, more ports from
> other systems, more large deceptive numbers, more marketing toward
> stupid people, more denial from the xbox fanboys, and more clones of
> old PSX games with better graphics. But to stupid people graphics is
> all that really counts as they cant play games for shit.
> 
> Special Thanks to ANGRY for the inspiration. I now await a barrage of
> denial.