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Article #23501

Operation Kill-The-Dork

#23501
From: Micah Gibson
Date: Sat, 18 Mar 2000 00:00
79 lines
4485 bytes
****

Stealthily, Commander (Junior Grade) Sectoid manuevered through the open,
first floor window and dropped to the carpet on the other side, coming to
rest on one knee with his Heavy Plasma rifle swaying side to side, seeking
targets. Lucky for Commander Sectoid, no one was in the downstairs living
room to witness his quiet entry. If his luck held, no one would see the
spatter of mess that accompanies the still-smoking-hulk of a dog outside
by the gate. It had been a nasty fight, but when the dog refused to accept
the offered treat, it had to be disposed of. It kind of reminded him of a
fight with another alien back at Cydonia, on Mars, before the humans
vanquished the Master Brain, back before he was taken captive,
interrogated, and reprogrammed to work for the XCOM organization. But he
could not let his mind wander. His objective was clear: the extermination
of a pesky dork who had been annoying the inhabitants of the AGX
community!!!

Commander Sectoid (Secty, his buddies back at the base called him)
carefully slid along the wall to the base of the stairs that led to his
beckoning objective. He knew it must be done quickly, with as little
damage to the house as possible. Secty looked up the stairs. Being short
in stature, it would be difficult for him to climb all the stairs without
trouble. But he must do it.

Pausing to check his motion sensor to insure that his prey remained in
place, Secty hastily bounded up the stairs and rolled to the wall on the
opposite side of the hallway. He quickly and efficiently scanned for any
hostiles and checked his motion detector once more: no movement. This
would be easy. Secty advanced toward the door at the end of the hall in a
crouched position. Yes, this was the door. He could tell by the assorted
Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears posters taped all over it.

Commander Sectoid set down his motion sensor where he could still view the
screen and reached up and slowly turned the knob, keeping an unwavering,
black eye focused on the screen to catch any movement from within. With
the door slightly ajar, Secty wiggled through and immediately caught site
of his primary objective. There it sat, infront of its computer, banging
away at the keyboard yelling obsenities. Secty, never having truly caught
on to the language of the humans, couldn't make it all out.

".....blah blah blah those ****ing AGXers!!!! I offer to go out on a limb
by posting TOTALLY illegal software on their newsgroup, and they deny
me!!! F***ING ***HOLES!!! I'll show them!! I am the great and powerful
IZORK!!!!  I know what I'll do!! I'll call up Microprose and tell on
them!!! Wahh!!! Wahh!!!! blah blah blah......."

Secty soon lost track of the jabbering and realized that this animal was
truly a menace to society, and therefore required extermination. As his
thoughts coalesced, the animal bumbled out of his chair and flopped onto
its bed, looking like a hurt baby. Seeing his chance, Secty leapt from the
floor, aimed his Heavy Plasma directly at Izork's head, and pulled the
trigger. The slight recoil of the powerful weapon was nothing compared to
the explosion of guts and brains as this menace was put out of its misery.
A job well done, thought Secty. Now back to the real stuff.

****

To see a picture of Commander Sectoid in action, about to terminate Izork,
click here --->  http://www.geocities.com/xcomufodefense/brian.jpg





Izork wrote:

> Just point me to the $4.95 Bargin Bin and I'll buy MOO1
> I'm going to call Microprose when the time zones line up again and see
> how they feel about thier software thats years old being given out.
> ___________________________________________________
>
> If we evolved then when do we stop being human and
> become something else? What is that something else?
> Visit My webpage sometime to see a picture of Me.
> http://www.plasmagun.com
> WebPage Updated 02/04/00
> Has plans on electro magnetic bomb and how to sheild
> your computer.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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From: Micah Gibson <uli...@hotmail.com>
Subject: Operation Kill-The-Dork
Date: 2000/03/18
Message-ID: <38D46A89.E8DA911D@hotmail.com>
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