🚀 go-pugleaf

First of all, BWAHAHAHAHA! ROTFLMAO! LOL! ARF! SNIGGER! ETC!

<Ahem> I feel better now. 

Ethereal Bob wrote:
> 
> "Shaun Green" <sh...@REMOVEshaungreen.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:sct327f3a5n128@corp.supernews.com...
> > Trajen <tra...@davenet.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:8am1p8$5ed$1@gxsn.com...
> > >
> > > Wowbagger the infinitely prolonged became immortal by accident.
> > > He couldn't handle the lifestyle and so decided to insult the
> universe.
> > > Not just in a general way but to insult everybody individually in
> > alphabetic
> > > order.
> > > I presume that was yours.
> >
> > So what comes after Bohnenberger?  I think that if he's only on the
> B's,
> > I've a while to wait yet.
> 
> I have a feeling that Wowbagger is going to be a *very* long while, yet.
> There seems to have been an unfortunate accident involving Mr.
> Bohnenberger's DNA and a Sectoid cloning facility on a remote planet
> within the outer rim of the galaxy.

Unfortunate depends on your perspective.  For you unfortunate mortals,
yes, but for me...?
 
> Apparently, one of the cloning technicians was trying to install Quake
> III onto the lab computer after hours and corrupted the system
> mainframe.

It wasn't quake, it was "Leisure Suit Larry".

> The computer promptly locked the facility down, and due to
> some bizzare quirk of programming, began to churn out endless copies 
of Bohnenbergers.

Sounds sort of like my wife's...oh never mind.

> The Sectoids, unable to regain control of the system,
> escaped by shuttle to orbit, where they remotely destroyed all means of
> leaving the planet, hoping the system would wear out and all of the
> Bohnenbergers would eventually starve to death.

Little did they suspect. <evil g>
 
> Alas, it is now five years later and there are millions of Bohnenbergers
> roaming the surface, and the cloning vats are still in operation. It
> appears the Bohnenbergers, after originally resorting to cannabilism > for food,

MMMM! Bohnenbergers!  GOOOD!

> have implimented massive farms, and maintained the cloning vats.
> The Sectoids have tried to go back and destroy the cloning facility, and
> release poisons into the atmosphere to exterminate this race of
> dentists, but it seems that the Bohnenbergers have devloped their own
> space fleet, based on designs from the Sectoid libraries, and driven off
> the intruders.

The sectoids were no match for the Hegemony of Bohnenberger.

> Fortunately, they as yet do not have the capability of
> Faster Than Light travel, but surely, it will not remain this way for
> long. Long range sensors have spied enormous warships, shaped like all
> manner of horrific dental instruments, being assembled in orbit. It
> won't be long, I fear, before great Needle and Drill class
> battlecruisers appear in the skies above the Sectoid core cities, their
> intentions unknown...

Don't forget the infamous Extraction Forceps class destroyers or the
dreaded Root Canal class space carriers, which carry clouds of insidious
Bicuspid fighters. MWAHAHAHAHAH!

> I pity poor Wowbagger. Can you imagine the horror of a planet full of
> portly, mustachioed dentists, all peering into one another's ears? And
> then having to individually insult every one of them? That was why he
> asked me to insult Mr. Bohnenberger for him... he couldn't stand to come
> face to face with the human who's DNA started all of this misery.

He'll be face to face with me/us soon enough!  MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
 
> So, as you can see, it will be a long time until Wowbagger can resume
> his rounds, and unless the cloning vats should cease operation, perhaps
> not ever. So, if you would like, Shaun, perhaps I could insult you in
> his stead?

There will be no need to insult Shaun.  By the time Wowbagger gets up to
the "G's" everyone will be speaking ""Bohnenberger".  MWAHAHAHAHAH,
etc..


-Robert Bohnenberger DMD, Grand High Commander of the Bohenenberger
InvasionForces, coming soon to a theater near you.