🚀 go-pugleaf

"Robert Bohnenberger DMD" <rtb...@erols.com> wrote in message
news:38CEB969.5D7B@erols.com...
> First of all, BWAHAHAHAHA! ROTFLMAO! LOL! ARF! SNIGGER! ETC!
>
> <Ahem> I feel better now.

Good. I'm glad.

> Ethereal Bob wrote:
>
> > I have a feeling that Wowbagger is going to be a *very* long while,
yet.
> > There seems to have been an unfortunate accident involving Mr.
> > Bohnenberger's DNA and a Sectoid cloning facility on a remote planet
> > within the outer rim of the galaxy.
>
> Unfortunate depends on your perspective.  For you unfortunate mortals,
> yes, but for me...?

Yes, for you too. The Sectoids have put a bounty on your head. They
don't want to take the chance that this may ever happen again.

> > Apparently, one of the cloning technicians was trying to install
Quake
> > III onto the lab computer after hours and corrupted the system
> > mainframe.
>
> It wasn't quake, it was "Leisure Suit Larry".

Yes, you are right. It appears that my sources were mis-informed. It
also appears that some of the "Larry" code had been encoded into the
Bohnenberger genome, which would explain why they all appeared to be
wearing white polyester leisure suits and making bad come-ons to each
other.

> > The computer promptly locked the facility down, and due to
> > some bizzare quirk of programming, began to churn out endless copies
> of Bohnenbergers.
>
> Sounds sort of like my wife's...oh never mind.

Yes, I'd like to see you refer to your wife's genitalia as "a bizzare
quirk of programming". Please do.

> > The Sectoids, unable to regain control of the system,
> > escaped by shuttle to orbit, where they remotely destroyed all means
of
> > leaving the planet, hoping the system would wear out and all of the
> > Bohnenbergers would eventually starve to death.
>
> Little did they suspect. <evil g>

Unfortunately so.

> > Alas, it is now five years later and there are millions of
Bohnenbergers
> > roaming the surface, and the cloning vats are still in operation. It
> > appears the Bohnenbergers, after originally resorting to cannabilism
> for food,
>
> MMMM! Bohnenbergers!  GOOOD!

Actually, I am informed that Bohnenbergers are very high in saturated
fats and carcinogens. It appears the many of the early clones, before
the farms came online, died rather quickly of either heart disease or
cancer. Or both.

> There will be no need to insult Shaun.  By the time Wowbagger gets up
to
> the "G's" everyone will be speaking ""Bohnenberger".  MWAHAHAHAHAH,
> etc..
>
>
> -Robert Bohnenberger DMD, Grand High Commander of the Bohenenberger
> InvasionForces, coming soon to a theater near you.

Fortunately, I have the pleasure of bringing the following news:

Wowbagger, wearying of his task, and forseeing no end in sight, borrowed
a set of stage amps and speakers from the infamous musical group
"Disaster Area", and set them up in a large field near the Bohnenberger
central hive. Retreating to his ship in orbit on the farside of the
systems star, Wowbagger fired up the amps by remote, and after turning
the power up to "11", proceeded to insult all of the Bohnenbergers
simultaneously.

A forunate, unintended consequence of this action was that due to the
power of the speakers, the planet was split in half,  it's large moon
completely pulverized, with the rubble spreading out and completely
destroying the unfinished Bohnenberger fleet, and pummeling what was
left of the planet below. The Planet of Evil Dentists is no more. The
Race of the Bohnenbergers, except for one example, is extinct.

The Sectoids are throwing an extremely large party, and have decreed a
national holiday in Wowbagger's honor.

Wowbagger, after repaying Disaster Area for their lost equipment, is
expected to take a short holiday, and try rid himself of the terrible
memories that the Bohnenbergers have left him. He is likely to resume
his rounds within the year.

As for you, Dr. Bohnenberger, I would watch your step; the Sectoids have
issued a Proclamation of Death on you. And please, be much more careful
with your DNA in future, for the sake of living beings everywhere...

--
Ethereal Bob
Tertiary Adjunct to the Sec. Cmdr., Sol Invasion Fleet Motor Pool
Ethereal Spy and Saboteur