🚀 go-pugleaf

Ok, in an effort to combat boredom and create a thread that's not
somehow linked to me personally, I'm starting this thread.  The only
rules are you have to use a * instead of vowels in the dirty words,
because this is a family newsgroup.

Here goes:

Captain "Dirty" Jack spends his long life at sea composing dirty
limericks to fill the long hours.  On shore one day he reads of a dirty
limerick contest & the author of the dirtiest limerick wins $1 million.

He sends off a few feeling he has a lock on the prize because he's a
dirty b*st*rd.

Next time he's on shore he finds out he came in second to a little old
lady from a small town in the country. The winning entry was deemed
unprintable by the newspaper that sponsored the contest.
Amazed and intrigued, he goes to her house to find out what the limerick
was, but she's too prim & proper and is too embarrassed to tell.  He
convinces her to just say the parts that aren't dirty, and skim over the
obscenities.  She agrees and she says:

Blah bla bla m*th*rf*ck*r
Blah bla bla bla pr*cks
blah bla bla bla c*cks*cker
Bla g*d d*mn*ed s*n *f * b*tch.

Ok, I never said mine were any good, that's why I want to hear yours.