🚀 go-pugleaf

Q- What is this newsgroup's purpose? 
A- This newsgroup has been taken over by the UT_Master, who is the 
greatest Unreal Tournament player of all time. It's purpose shall be 
whatever the UT_Master's latest whim happens to be. By posting here 
you consent to worship the UT_Master and follow the guidelines set 
forth in this FAQ. 

Q- I'm having trouble with the game installation and/or configuration, 
where can I find help? 
A- The UT_Master doesn't give a shit about you or your problems. You 
should shut the fuck up and learn how to search for information. 


Q- Who rules this newsgroup? 
A- UT_Master rules this group with an iron fist. 


Q- I've heard the UT_Master has a massive penis. Is this true? 
A- Yes, the UT_Master's penis is huge, hence the need for the iron 
fist. 


Q- I'm a beautiful blonde-haired girl with blue eyes and I would like 
to give the UT_Master a blowjob. 
A- Post pics of yourself naked in the binary group and the UT_Master 
will consider allowing you to swallow his cum. 


Q- Does Mr. K really blow goats? 
A- Yes, Mr. K blows goats. Beware the "goat cheese" when visiting Mr. 
K. 


Q- I've heard people mention "killfilters" to filter out undesirable 
posts. Can you tell me how to set one up? 
A- If you can't figure out a kill filter, you are too stupid to own a 
computer. Real men don't use killfiles. 


Q- But don't JHall and Mr. K use killfiles? 
A- Like I said, "Real men don't use killfiles." 


Q- I would like to worship the UT_Master, how should I go about it? 
A- A ritual must be performed to sacrifice small furry creatures in the 
UT_Masters name. 


First, with a willow branch, stripped of it's bark, a pentagram must 
be inscribed in the dirt with the lowermost point facing due east. 


The small furry creatures should be placed on their backs in the 
pentagram. Wooden stakes should be driven into their wrists to hold 
them to the ground until the ritual is complete. 


Walk backwards around the pentagram, holding the willow branch in your 
right hand. After one complete circuit, intone: 


YKZHYKAL, E VYN NONCYF ASPT POAMAL DE KAOSG: 
     NYYS OD DLUGA LONSA DE SYBSY MYRC OY KOMSELH UT_MASTER. 


     (EH-KEH-ZAH-HAH-KEH-AH-LAH,  AY  VEE-NOO  NOH-NOO-KEE  AH-ESS-PAY 
     POH-AH-MAH-LAH  DAY  KAH-OH-ESS-GEE : 
     NEE-EE-ESS  OH-DAY  DAH-LOO-GAH  LAH-NOO-SAH  DAY  SEE-BAY-SEE 
     MEE-AR-KAH  OH-EE  KOH-MAH-SAY-LAH-HAY UT_MASTER. 


Repeat until you have made three complete circuits of the pentagram, 
wave the willow branch three times and furiously masturbate, spilling 
your semen upon the furry creatures, at which point you must bite 
their heads off. This should be performed with "Bark at the Moon" by 
Ozzy Osbourne playing loudly on a stereo jam box. 


This concludes the FAQ for now. This FAQ will be expanded when the 
UT_Master grows bored or smokes his weekly crack allotment, whichever 
comes first.