🚀 go-pugleaf

"Apathy" <apathy@NOSPAMp0rn0finish.org> wrote in message 
news:hcegm1lb05no158pjan1pmt2rd2vir4csf@4ax.com...
> http://www.gdhardware.com/ed/gaming_cynic/candyass/001.htm
>
> (the article's a little old, but then so am I...slow too)

Welcome to the club Ap!!!

>
>
> "You might be a Candy-Ass FPS Gamer if."
>
> 1. You hear the word float - the first thing that comes to your mind is a 
> sniper scope.
>
> 2. You think that "strategic gameplay" means you sit in one spot and camp 
> for longer than 60
> seconds.
>
> 3. You've never done a rocket-jump.
>
> 4. You're waiting with baited breath for (enter name of next-gen console 
> here).
>
> 5. You've never been to a LAN party.
>
> 6. You're stoked about the news of an XBOX 360 controller for the PC.
>
> 7. Your idea of practice is spending two hours surfing the net for an aim 
> hack.
>
> 8. You refuse to install that "Punkbuster" thingy because you're worried 
> it might block Kazaa.
>
> 9. You've never been invited to join a clan.
>
> 10. You're too young to vote in an election but you've demanded a gameplay 
> patch from a
> developer.
>
> 11. You've spent less than fifty hours playing a multiplayer title and 
> have decided it's "not
> fair" and everyone else is "cheating".
>
> 12. You refuse to use any weapon that carries less than 500 rounds, has a 
> rate of fire below 300
> rounds per minute, or doesn't utilize "splash damage".
>
> 13. You have never memorized a map or the locations of weapons and 
> power-ups.
>
> 14. You've never competed in an online tournament.
>
> 15. You don't have time to hone your skills because your geometry homework 
> is overdue.
>
> 16. Your only knowledge of World War II is via cutscenes.

Wow.  There really ARE kids like this???

>
> 17. You've never hammered on your keyboard and then kept playing.

i got a pile of ruined keyboards, the A and D and S keys are just GONE man!

>
> 18. You minimize your game more than three times per match to type a 
> message in Xfire, ICQ or
> AIM.
>
> 19. You've never figured out what the point of that "frisbee gun" is in 
> Unreal Tournament.
>
> 20. You'd rather spray paint your logo on the wall than spray your 
> opponents all over the wall.
>
> 21. (For Thresh) If you think Xfire is the name of a Chrysler product!
>
> If the shoe fits, then wear it, and by all means-less talk more practice. 
> You wanna feel like
> you're king of the hill? Work for it. It's not the developers' 
> responsibility to make you feel
> good about yourself. That's your mommy's job, and we ain't her. It's a 
> tough old world out there
> in the servers, and if you're weak, then prepare to lose. Just 
> remember-how you take losing and
> what you do to fix it is as important as winning. Now go get ready for 
> bed, Candy-Ass-it's a
> school night.
>
> Apathy[AGQx]
> Ipsa Scientia Potentia Est>>===>
> Illiterate? Write here for help:
> http://www.p0rn0finish.org

LOL!!   Oh, that's s'posed to be CROSSfire, dammit!  ;)

Good seeing you again!
McG.