🚀 go-pugleaf

Chad Gowin (ch...@sdf.lonestar.org) wrote:

: 1)  Make sure it's a Wednesday.  The machine is SMART.  It KNOWS what
:     you're trying to find out.
  Yeeeeesssss...
: 2)  Make sure that there are plenty of witnesses.  After all, making an
:     ass out of yourself is only fun in a group!
  Yeeeeesssss...
: 3)  Strip naked, stand on your head, hold down every button on the
:     console, and sing Stairway to Heaven (the long version) in falsetto.
  Yeeeeesssss...
: 4)  Wait exactly three minutes (having one of those super exact Swiss
:     watches helps) and then turn yourself upright. ERMACS will then appear,
:     but it is unfortunately too late. By then, the men in the startched white
:     coats will have arrived to put you in a nice padded room without any sharp
:     corners.
  Yeeeeesssss...
: 5)  Wait three to five years, then return to the free world.

  NO!  If there is ONE thing the penal system is for, it's to LET YOU TALK TO
HIDDEN VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS!  Once you're in the sanitarium, make friends
with as many Big Indians as possible.  Steal a boat and go fishing.  Get the
stuttering guy (there always is one) laid.  THEN ERMACS will appear and offer
you "a big glass of Tang".  DO NOT accept it.  Denying Tang is the only way to
beat ERMACS.

-Kudzu
(Denying Tang IS the only way to beat ERMACS)
--
##*##*##*##*##*##*##*##*##   Satan is GOOD        ##*##*##*##*##*##*##*##*##*##
#ch...@cie-2.uoregon.edu#   Satan is OUR PAL     #     Per ardua ad astra    #
##*##*##*##*##*##*##*##*##   Satan drives a PLOW  ##*##*##*##*##*##*##*##*##*##
                             Satan says "MEOW!"