🚀 go-pugleaf

Richard Ward (rrw...@netcom.com) wrote:

: Have you ever blown a (wipe that smirk off your face, pervert! :) ) bad guy 
: out of a window with the rocket launcher?  Kinda funny, actually.

A cold, stale wind blows through the air.  Clutching my massive shotgun,
sweat falling down my face like a waterfall, I grimly run into the next
room.  Four zombie-like creatures with refuse dripping off their carcasses
turn around, howling for my blood.  Casually, I reach for my chain gun,
then with a war cry, press the trigger down for several seconds as my
former-companions' bodies fly apart, splattering against the wall behind
them.  The green toxic-waste that flows in trenches on both sides of the
precipice on which I stand turns an ugly brownish color, mixing with the
mutant blood of my old friends.
	Wiping the sweat off my brow, I check my inventory.  Chainsaw? 
Maybe I should go find some meat or something.  No.  I'd better stick with
the shotgun, it seems to crack the most pate.  I prepare to trade weapons
when I hear a shriek above me.  Out of nowhere, two imps have smashed
through a pile of offal and now stand on an elevated platform above me. 
Even from this distance, the flickering lights illuminate the fresh saliva
which drips from their gaping maws.  Tearing back their claws in fury,
they simultaneously summon balls of pure energy and hurl them at me. 
Moments after they have left the imps' paws, the energy spheres burst into
flames, making a loud, tumultuous noise.
	Cursing, I roll to one side and feel the heat of the explosion
behind me, narrowly miss roasting my body into a crisped carcass.  Taking
out the rocket launcher, my coveted weapon, and screaming, "Eat death, you
abiogenic mutations!" as loud as I can, I pull the trigger and let a
rocket go flying towards my leering victims.
	The imps, albeit stupid, have very good instincts, and they both
manage to avoid the projectile.  Cursing, I prepare to fire another
volley when suddenly, the rocket smashes into a waiting barrel of toxic waste
which bursts into orange flames, roasting my two nemesi into hardened
corspes.  Screaming, and shrieking in stark pain, the imps fall off the
precipice and land, face first, in a river of toxic acid, two stories
below them.
	"Don't cross me, imps," I sneer, pointing a bloody hand at the
writhing, lifeless bodies.  "Or I'll break you!"  Knowing that a pink
muncher awaits me in the next room, I rev up my chainsaw and prepare to...
find some meat.

				- - - - -

	Sorry if some people were offended by that account (for whatever
reason).  It was in response to the post about blowing a soldier out of a
window with a rocket launcher.