🚀 go-pugleaf

Pamietacie propozycje epka do Horizona z myslacym oceanem pilnowanym przez
Klingona? Wracam z czyms nowym. Otoz ogladajac trailery do Nemesis
wyobrazalem to sobie zupelnie inaczej. Gdy juz zobaczylem tego knota,
zaczalem sie zastanawiac jak moznaby to zrobic lepiej - bo pomysl swietny
tylko realizacja byla na odwal. Dzis w koccu pomysl dojrzal w mojej glowie.
Przygotowalem to in english zeby pokazac tez na forach zagranicznych. Od
strony jezykowo-technicznej wspomoglem sie pelnym scenariuszem ze ST7
dostepnym tu:

http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Star-Trek-Generations.html

zeby mnie nikt nie posadzal ze przedstawiam fanfiki z sieci jako swoje. A
wiec poczytajcie i powiedzcie co o tym myslicie.


How I would remake Nemesis

In my story the clone of Picard looks exactly like him, not younger and does
not have his own name. I shifted the name Shinzon to his Reman companion and
the clone of Picard is simply referred to as "Clone". They do not overthrow
the Romulan Praetor. The Romulan Empire does have a new Praetor but he is a
regular Romulan. I have reused some bits of the movie but mainly tried to
rearrange them to achieve maximum impact by very minimalist means.


(We are going to see a set of interwoven scenes - those from the wedding and
those from Romulan Senate.)

Fadein:

Picard (wedding): "We have gathered here..."

Romulan Praetor (senate): "...to put an end to a conflict between the Earth
and Romulus that lasted for centuries."

Picard (wedding): "You are now..."

Admiral Janeway (senate): "...partnering planets in neighbouring quadrants."

Riker is kissing Troi. Troi disappears and so does the background. We can
now see the holodeck grid.

Picard: "Enough of these rehearsals, Number One. Deanna and you have a whole
future for yourselves. Let us now go back to the present."

Picard and Riker exit the holodeck. Picard taps his communicator:

"Mr Data, a Romulan warbird is in orbit around Earth's Moon with a courtesy
visit. We are going to beam aboard to meet a Romulan delegation and discuss
some urgent matters."

Data: "Aye, sir. I'm on my way."

We can see a rather gloomy interior of the vessel. Picard and Data beam in.
They are surprised to see the deck almost empty. A Nosferatu-like humanoid
emerges from the shadow:

"We are very glad you have arrived."

A chair turns around in the background. A gradual close-up to the face of
the man on the chair. It is a clone of Picard. The Clone starts talking:

"Especially you Mr Data."

Clone pulls out a phaser and stuns Picard. Turns to Data:

"We have plans for you."

Fadeout.

Fadein:

Data is strapped to a table. A panel open on his head. Clone is leaning over
Data holding a cord with a plug:

"It is not advisable to remove this plug, Mr Data. If you do so, all your
memory will be deleted. I highly recommend that you simply relax and obey."

Picard connects the plug to the socket behind the panel in Data's head. Data
closes his eyes.

Transporter room. Geordi sees two individuals beaming in. The Clone
apparently posing as Picard is accompanied by the "Nosferatu" creature:

Geordi: "Sir, where is Mr Data? And who is..."

Nosferatu turns a ring on his finger. Geordi changes his facial expression
to a more friendly one:

"Welcome back, Mr Shinzon."

Clone and Shinzon are in turbolift. Shinzon turns his ring once again. They
enter bridge, Clone takes seat in captain's chair. Shinzon proceeds to the
helm with no resistance and assumes the position. Riker turns to Clone:

"How was the meeting, sir?"

Clone: "The Romulans asked us for a favour and the Federation agrees."

Troi sitting next to Clone starts to feel a terrible headache. Clone turns
to Troi:

"Deanna, are you alright? You may go to sickbay."

Troi leaves. Clone turns to Shinzon:

"Mr Shinzon, set a course for L-374."

Shinzon: "Aye, sir. If we maintain warp 8, we will reach it in 12 hours."

Close-up on Clone's face:

"Make it so."

Deanna is lying on her bed, sleeping. A close-up on her face. We can see she
is dreaming about having a shower. She feels relaxed and enjoys it. Suddenly
she notices a person behind the curtain. She moves it aside to see the man's
face - it is "Picard".

Now we can see Clone sitting in captain's quarters, a happy expression on
his face. In a broader view we can see that Shinzon is holding his hands on
Clone's head. He is enjoying it too. Suddenly a beep is heared:

"Reed to captain Picard. We are entering the L-374 system, sir."

Clone rises from his chair leaving Shinzon's raised hands behind:

"I'm on my way."

Clone enters bridge. On screen he sees a dark, elongated drifting object
that occults background stars like a coalsack. Clone taps his communicator:

"Geordi, I guess we are ready to deploy the transmitter that you prepared."

Geordi: "Aye sir, I hope it sticks to its butt properly."

Enterprise cargo bay opens and a small probe emerges. We can see it flying
by the object which turns out to be a large cone with its slightly glowing
orifice shaped like a maw. The probe attaches itself to the side wall and
the glow becomes more intense. The cone is lit up. It turns blue and starts
reorienting itself.

Clone turns to the ensign who replaced Shinzon at the helm:

"Mr Reed, we are leaving. Set a course for Vulcan."

We are back in Earth's system and see the warbird passing in front of Earth'
s Moon. We get to look inside through one of its windows. We see Data still
strapped to the table with his eyes closed. A closeup to his forehead - we
can see his thoughts. A blurred image of Picard speaking (flashback to a
scene from "Generations"):

"Data, I have nothing but sympathy for what you're going through. But right
now, I need your full attention on the task at hand. If you can't provide
it... then I'll have to relieve you of duty until Doctor Crusher can remove
this emotion chip of yours. I'm sorry, but you leave me no other choice."

We are back onboard Enterprise.

Reed: "We are now in orbit around Vulcan, sir."

Clone rises from captain's chair. Starts talking with a hue of pride in his
voice:

"I am Captain Jean Luc Picard..."

We now see him on a huge screen set up in a city on Vulcan, similar to those
on Cardassia used by authorities to address their people.

"...of the USS Enterprise. On behalf of the new alliance between Earth and
Romulus, the Federation treaty with Vulcan is thereby dissolved. Vulcan
falls now under Romulan jurisdiction."

We now see the cone-shaped object dropping out of warp over Vulcan. We can
see how huge it is. Now back on Enterprise Ensign Reed turns to Clone:

"Sir, the cone positioned its rear end towards the Vulcan sun and the
orifice faces the planet. It appears to accumulate solar energy."

Clone: "Yes... I... know."

We now see Vulcans standing in a desert. The cone causes an artificial solar
eclipse by casting its shadow on the desert and covering the Vulcan sun as
seen from the ground. The sky turns dark in the middle of the day.

Now back to Data on the warbird. He now sees a blurred image of Spock
talking (a flashback):

"The needs of many outweigh the needs of one."

Now cut to Vulcan's high council, a leader speaks:

"Resistance would be illogical. We must evacuate."

We now see Vulcan ships rapidly leaving the surface and Vulcan's orbit in
large numbers. They pass by the cone which now starts to emit a a stream of
energy from its "maw" onto Vulcan. From ground's perspective, the remaining
Vulcans see aurora-like glow in the sky that intensifies. It is followed by
very strong wind. Suddenly the aurora disappears - the atmosphere has been
blown away by energetic particles of solar wind enhanced by the cone.
Vulcans now standing in vacuum start suffocating and collapse in convulsions
to be followed by paralysis. We can see that their bodies are now
unnaturally swollen. Close-up to a Vulcan's face. We can see green blood
coming out of his frosted mouth.

Now back to Data. He now sees a blurred image of Spock talking (flashback to
the moment preceeding Spock's death in Star Trek II"):

"I am and always will be your friend."

Now we see a broader view - there is a huge cavity in Vulcan - the planet
has been stripped off its outer layer on the spot of contact with the energy
beam and we can now see its glowing inner core. Suddenly a bright flash
overwhelms the view.

Back on Enterprise. We can now see that Shinzon has joined the crew and
Riker is sitting at Clone's side. Shinzon suddenly appears to have some
problems with his ring. All of the crew change their facial expression.
Riker rises and stands in front of Clone. Close-up to Clone's face - he
apparently feels uncomfortable. Riker turns to Clone:

"What have we just done?"

Riker then turns and points at Shinzon:

"And who the hell is HE?"

Shinzon dematerialises - apparently beamed away.

Riker turns back to Clone, looking at him in a hostile way:

"Computer, locate Captain Picard."

Computer: "Captain Picard is on the bridge..." A brief pause. "...and in
brig 10."

Clone is surrounded by security and forced into turbolift. Riker joins them
on their way to brig. They now stand in front of the real Picard lying
unconscious behind the force field. Suddenly Clone runs to the force field.
He is shot by the security on the back and dies. Force field drops. Medical
officer infuses the real Picard who now regains consciousness, rises and
approaches the Clone's body lying on the floor. He turns him over to see his
face and stares at it feeling uncomfortable.

Fadeout.

Fade in.

Picard and Riker on the bridge. Reed reports:

"Vulcan has been completely destroyed. Our sensors only pick up an asteroid
belt forming out of  the debris. The cone has stopped after feeding on the
material. However..." A brief pause. "Sir, now it is reorienting itself
again."

Picard: "Mr Reed, plot a course where it is heading."

A cartographic diagram appears on the screen with Vulcan, cone and its path
plotted.

Riker turns toward Picard:

"Earth".

Picard starts pondering, then turns to Riker:

"I believe Data is still in Moon's orbit commanding that thing, correct?"

Riker: "Positive."

Picard: "I guess the Romulans leave us no other choice."

We now see Picard grabbing the cord attached to Data's head. He sighs and
pulls it in one rapid move. Data opens his eyes and starts talking,
finishing in an altered, machine-shutdown-like voice:

"Thank you, sirrrrrr..."

Fadeout.

Fadein.

Sickbay. Riker is leaning over Troi (sitting). The door opens. They stop
talking. Picard enters. Troi notices him and turns her head away silently,
covering her face with her hands.

Picard: "We can still undo what he has done."

Back on bridge. Picard storms in:

"Mr Reed, set a course for the Portal Planet."

Riker: "Is it not the planet with the Guardian in the City on the Edge of
Forever?"

Picard: "Yes, the hell it is."

Riker: "Sir, are you aware that it had been classified and is now surrounded
by a force field to prevent any landing parties from beaming onto the
surface?"

Picard: "Yes... I... know." Brief pause. (He says that just like the Clone
did casuing some concern in Riker and the crew). "But we are not going to
BEAM there."

We see Enterprise flying very low over the planet causing sparks in the
forcefield from time to time. Cargo bay opens and a pressurised wheeled
vehicle emerges. It falls freely onto the planet until the parachute deploys
and retro-engine fires underneath it. We now see Picard driving, accompanied
by Riker and Worf. They step out of the car and stand in front of the
Guardian. Worf approaches Picard:

"Captain, are you going to warn Vulcans?"

Picard: "No, Mr Worf. I am going to warn myself."

A broader view of the three. Fadeout.

THE END


Trailer:

"A failed friendship..."

(Picard announcing Romulan jurisdiction over Vulcan)

"A great sacrifice..."

(Picard pulling the cord out of Data's head)

"A villain worst of all..."

(Clone firing phaser - from the take where he stuns Picard)

See how they find their ultimate Nemesis. Coming to movie theater near you.