🚀 go-pugleaf

terror. Upon which
she left off reading the Bible, in course, as she had begun; and turned
to the New Testament, to see if she could not find some relief there for
her distressed soul.

Her great terror, she said, was, that she had sinned against God: her
distress grew more and more for three days; until she saw nothing but
blackness of darkness before her, and her very flesh trembled for fear
of God's wrath: she wondered and was astonished at herself, that she had
been so concerned for her body, and had applied so often to physicians
to heal that, and had neglected her soul. Her sinfulness appeared with a
very awful aspect to her, especially in three things; viz. her original
sin, and her sin in murmuring at God's providence-in the weakness and
afflictions she had been under-and in want of duty to parents, though
others had looked upon her to excel in dutifulness. On Saturday, she was
so earnestly engaged in reading the Bible and other books, that she
continued in it, searching for something to relieve her, till her eyes
were so dim that she could not know the letters. While she was thus
engaged in reading, prayer, and other religious exercises, she thought
of those words of Christ, wherein He warns us not to be as the heathen,
that think they shall be heard for their much speaking; which, she said,
led her to see that she had trusted to her own prayers and religious
performances, and now she was put to a nonplus, and knew not which way
to turn herself, or where to seek relief.

While her mind was in this posture, her heart, she said, seemed to fly,
to the minister for refuge, hoping that he could give her some relief.
She came the same day to her brother, with the countenance of a person
in distress, expostulating with him, why he had not told her more of her
sinfulness, and earnestly inquiring of him what she should do. She
seemed