🚀 go-pugleaf

Ryan wrote:
> 
> On Sun, 07 Apr 2002 10:10:02 -0700, Charles Doane
> <gdo...@mindspring.com> wrote:
> 
> >I think there's another factor which has to do with the maturity
> >of the audience.  FPS's, regardless of their "Mature" rating, are
> >typically kiddie fare twitch games.
> 
> Kiddie fare twitch games? That has got to be the worst understanding
> of the genre I've read to date.

You think so?  Let's look.

Doom:  You're a Space Marine (oh great, we get to play G.I. Joe!) and
       like all really good soldiers, you get to use a chainsaw on
       MARS.  Now, mind telling me WHAT IN THE HECK is a chainsaw
       doing on MARS?  Are there a lot of FORESTS there?  Is logging
       a BIG thing on Phobos and Deimos?  JEEZE!  A TERMITE would
       starve on Mars, so why the chainsaw?  Juvenile gratuitous
       violence; that's the *only* reason for it.  That sort of plot
       hole annoys mature adults.

Quake: You're a good soldier again, but this time somebody has a
       Slipgate and they're using Mutant Death Squads to infiltrate
       Earth.  Come on, this thing sounds like a 1950's kid's comic
       book premise.  And the KIDDIE weapon of Quake?  The Nailgun,
       which fires "galvanized nine-inchers" as ammo.  Whether it's
       a nod to Trent Reznor (of Nine Inch Nails fame) who did the
       music or not, it's a STUPID JUVENILE WEAPON.  Ever wonder
       why the U.S. Marine Corps ain't arming themselves with ammo
       from ACE HARDWARE?  Because it's DUMB!  Nails aren't even
       remotely good ammunition.  They wouldn't fly straight and
       they'd just ANNOY the enemy when they hit him anyway.
       This plot hole would totally annoy a thinking adult.

DN 3D: Oh, here's a real mature one!  "Damn, I'm GOOD!".  So, Space
       Cowboy Duke Nukem (yup, super mature name there) back from
       beating Dr. Proton (not kidding) finds Los Angeles overrun
       by mutants.  You gotta admit, this ain't exactly Shakespeare
       writing the plotline, right?  Page 17 of the Saturn's Duke 3D
       manual gives up and sums the plot by saying "Ah heck, just blow
       the ?@*# out of anything that breathes."  Yeah, REAL mature.
       So, what's the KIDDIE weapon in this one?   The SHRINKER!  Yup,
       you can shrink the baddies down to size and squish them just
       like bugs!  Hey DUKE, Flash Gordon called and he wants you to
       give him his toys back!  


This is adolescent junk, there's not much that's "Mature" about any
of it, so the only remaining question is whether they're twitch games.
Heck yes.  They're shooters; that's what the "S" in FPS stands for.

-- 
ense petite placidum sub libertate quietem;
With the sword she seeks calm repose under
liberty: By the sword we seek peace, but
peace only under liberty.
(motto of Massachusetts)