🚀 go-pugleaf

Supposedly, a woman posted the following personal ad on Craigslist:
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What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful 
(spectacularly beautiful) 25-year-old girl. I’m articulate and classy. 
I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at 
least [a] half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in 
mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t 
think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could 
you send me some tips? I dated a businessman who makes average around 
200 - 250K. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000K won’t 
get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was 
married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as 
pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? 
How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, 
restaurants, gyms.

- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my 
feelings.

- Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the Upper East 
Side so plain? I’ve seen really “plain Jane” boring types who have 
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead 
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the East Village. What’s the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows — lawyer, investment 
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they 
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for 
MARRIAGE ONLY.

Please hold your insults — I’m putting myself out there in an honest 
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front 
about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t 
able to match them — in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a 
nice home and hearth.
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The response she got was as follows:
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Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully 
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. 
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your 
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said, here’s how I 
see it:

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a 
crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you 
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party, and I 
bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub — your looks will fade 
and my money will likely continue into perpetuity … in fact, it is very 
likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you 
won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms, you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning 
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation 
accelerates! Let me explain: you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty 
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in 
earnest. By 35, stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy 
and hold … hence the rub … marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense 
to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case 
you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following: if my money were 
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s 
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, 
I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” 
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to 
believe, if you are as gorgeous as you say you are, that the $500K 
hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout. By the way, you could always 
find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this 
difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. 
Classic “pump and dump.” I hope this is helpful, and if you want to 
enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
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