🚀 go-pugleaf

"Shaun Green" <sh...@REMOVEshaungreen.co.uk> wrote in message
news:sct327f3a5n128@corp.supernews.com...
> Trajen <tra...@davenet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:8am1p8$5ed$1@gxsn.com...
> >
> > Wowbagger the infinitely prolonged became immortal by accident.
> > He couldn't handle the lifestyle and so decided to insult the
universe.
> > Not just in a general way but to insult everybody individually in
> alphabetic
> > order.
> > I presume that was yours.
>
> So what comes after Bohnenberger?  I think that if he's only on the
B's,
> I've a while to wait yet.

I have a feeling that Wowbagger is going to be a *very* long while, yet.
There seems to have been an unfortunate accident involving Mr.
Bohnenberger's DNA and a Sectoid cloning facility on a remote planet
within the outer rim of the galaxy.

Apparently, one of the cloning technicians was trying to install Quake
III onto the lab computer after hours and corrupted the system
mainframe. The computer promptly locked the facility down, and due to
some bizzare quirk of programming, began to churn out endless copies of
Bohnenbergers. The Sectoids, unable to regain control of the system,
escaped by shuttle to orbit, where they remotely destroyed all means of
leaving the planet, hoping the system would wear out and all of the
Bohnenbergers would eventually starve to death.

Alas, it is now five years later and there are millions of Bohnenbergers
roaming the surface, and the cloning vats are still in operation. It
appears the Bohnenbergers, after originally resorting to cannabilism for
food, have implimented massive farms, and maintained the cloning vats.
The Sectoids have tried to go back and destroy the cloning facility, and
release poisons into the atmosphere to exterminate this race of
dentists, but it seems that the Bohnenbergers have devloped their own
space fleet, based on designs from the Sectoid libraries, and driven off
the intruders. Fortunately, they as yet do not have the capability of
Faster Than Light travel, but surely, it will not remain this way for
long. Long range sensors have spied enormous warships, shaped like all
manner of horrific dental instruments, being assembled in orbit. It
won't be long, I fear, before great Needle and Drill class
battlecruisers appear in the skies above the Sectoid core cities, their
intentions unknown...

I pity poor Wowbagger. Can you imagine the horror of a planet full of
portly, mustachioed dentists, all peering into one another's ears? And
then having to individually insult every one of them? That was why he
asked me to insult Mr. Bohnenberger for him... he couldn't stand to come
face to face with the human who's DNA started all of this misery.

So, as you can see, it will be a long time until Wowbagger can resume
his rounds, and unless the cloning vats should cease operation, perhaps
not ever. So, if you would like, Shaun, perhaps I could insult you in
his stead?

--
Ethereal Bob
Tertiary Adjunct to the Sec. Cmdr., Sol Invasion Fleet Motor Pool
Ethereal Spy and Saboteur