🚀 go-pugleaf

Thanks. That helped.

Poster: Outsider 
Subject: Adjective Army FAQ v1.4 - Who to send it to next... 
Newsgroup: alt.games.tiberian-sun 
Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 

>Stardate Mon, 24 Jan 2000 18:52:19 +0000.  We were approaching
>alt.games.starcraft, in sector four, when the leader of Aiur,The
>Unknown James <uj@of.the.a.a> , warned me...
>
>>
>>Welcome to the semi-interactive (and potentially harmful) Adjective Army
>>FAQ Experience. Please keep all arms, legs and genitalia (should you be
>>equipped with such) inside the FAQ until it comes to a complete halt.
>>Helpful suggestions will be disposed of, unless they arrive with money
>>attached. Make all money orders payable to me, The Unknown James. The
>>author cannot be held responsible for any flame wars which start as a
>>result of the posting of this FAQ.
>>
>>
>>This FAQ was not written by a single individual. It was found etched
>>into the side of a mountain by lightning. If you have been plagiarised,
>>you must understand that it was an Act of God, not a breach of
>>copyright. Take it up with your church.
>>
>>Last Updated 17 Jan 2000
>>
>>*************************
>>Table of Contents
>>*************************
>>
>>0.1)    Latest News and Information
>>
>>1)      Who are the Adjective Army?
>>1.1)    So you're gamers?
>>1.2)    Can I have an Adjective?
>>1.3)    I'm going to have an Adjective anyway.
>>1.4)    Specifically, who are you?
>>
>>2)      What do you do?
>>2.1)    What is Adjectivization?
>>2.2)    Help! I'm being Adjectivized!
>>2.3)    Are you sure you're not just trolls?
>>2.4)    What don't you do?
>>2.5)    I love you guys. Where can I find out more?
>>2.6)    I think you're making this up as you go along
>>2.7)    Why is there no part 2.7?
>>
>>3)      What is alt.fan.adjective-army?
>>3.1)    What is considered on-topic in AFAA?
>>3.2)    My ISP hates you and won't add AFAA
>>3.3)    Is AFAA a trolling group?
>>3.4)    Who are these troll groups, and why are you crossposting there?
>>3.5)    Who are your enemies?
>>
>>4)      Anything else?
>>
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>0.1) Latest News and Information
>>*************************
>>
>>I've a funny feeling that this one will piss people off. I recommend them to
>>bite me.
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>1) Who are the Adjective Army?
>>*************************
>>
>>        We are the collective of the regulars (of many years in some
>>cases) from a load of weirdo newsgroups. We are characterised by our
>>use of Adjectives in our names - is this simple enough for you?
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>1.1) So you're gamers?
>>*************************
>>
>>        Not exactly, no. We obviously began as gamers, but this is no
>>longer the case. While many of us still play games, our newsgroups of
>>origin have become off-topic centres of drivel. The simple reason for
>>this is that Red Alert has (in many peoples' opinions) been surpassed in
>>gameplay by other games, and Tiberian Sun was absolute crap from day
>>one.
>>
>>        As a direct result of this, we have ceased to be entirely
>>satisfied with our Usenet experience, and are out to liven it up a
>>little. Sadly, this includes the crossposting of controversial articles
>>into other groups. I would like to make it clear that this is not
>>trolling - this is simply a Different Opinion. If you disagree with our
>>Different Opinion, this is an issue with you, rather than us. We suggest
>>you killfile us, because we're full of Different Opinions (among other
>>things).
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>1.2) Can I have an Adjective?
>>*************************
>>
>>        It would be foolish of us to presume that we can prevent you
>>from changing your posting name to include an Adjective. However, we
>>would like to strongly advise against it - our rules state that you are
>>not permitted to use an Adjective without permission. After a suitable
>>period of apprenticeship your abilities will be assessed and your
>>application considered on it's merits.
>>
>>        Should you wish to be included in the Adjective Army, there are
>>two paths you can choose. The first is simple - you do as we do for a
>>while, and eventually we'll let you in. This generally involves
>>following the rules we go by, and helping out (should you be able to)
>>with valid queries in either alt.games.tiberian-sun or
>>alt.games.redalert.
>>
>>        The second way in which you can be given membership is
>>through an act of significant importance to us. This could, in theory,
>>be the starting of a large flame war between two rival groups (such as a
>>long discussion of RTS games). Alternatively, you could dazzle us with
>>your wit and ability to troll.... Uh, I mean, ability to debate with
>>people :o)
>>
>>        Should you opt for the second alternative, please crosspost all
>>attempts to accomplish your aims to alt.fan.adjective-army so that we
>>can review them.
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>1.3) I'm going to have an Adjective anyway.
>>*************************
>>
>>        All we can say in that case is "Good luck". Should you survive
>>the barrage of flames, you will probably be deemed either killfile
>>fodder, or a worthy adversary and be offered membership. It is best to
>>assume the former when deciding whether to prematurely take on an
>>Adjective.
>>
>>        If you should choose to take an adjective without authorization,
>>we will never let you post to Usenet without 10 trolls following on
>>your heels, making it well known to every group who you are and why
>>we dislike you. We will also let them know that we're only there because
>>you are, and this will cause hatred to fall on you. But we're nice guys
>>really.
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>1.4) Specifically, who are you?
>>*************************
>>
>>        OK, this is the part where I forget half the names, and
>>everybody gets mad at me. But I shall try to list everybody anyway
>>(in chronological order where possible):
>>
>>        The Legendary Burghy
>>        The Legendary Enforcer
>>        The Intermittent Phil
>>        (The) Dark Samurai
>>        The Mystical Xinhuan
>>        The Unknown James
>>        The Obsessive Charles
>>        The Supreme Andrew
>>        The Mythical Alex
>>        The Maniacal Kit
>>        The Arcane Chas
>>        The Profound Eol
>>        The Inane Dirk
>>        The Random Leon
>>        The Obdurate Ozjish
>>        The Witless Child
>>        The (unassigned) Tom
>>        The Ambiguous Antti
>>        The Whimsical Reycov
>>        The Omniscient Blade
>>
>>        All those people I forgot, e-mail me (unkn...@freeuk.com) to
>>remind me.... In addition to this, we have some Adjectives pending for
>>the following people (following their completion of apprenticeship):
>>
>>        Hex
>>        MuuMiMan
>>
>>        There may well be others in this category too, but it's not
>>worth my energy looking them all up. If you feel you belong in this
>>category, then e-mail me ( unkn...@freeuk.com ).
>>
>>        We also have honorary positions open for those people who we
>>feel deserve inclusion in our "organization" (and who participate in our
>>activities), but who may not wish to be affiliated with us directly.
>>Such people include:
>>
>>- (The) Wild Bill
>>  A troll from another group (and by troll, I really mean "Usenet 
>>  Satirist"). He came along to AGTS with some friends, and we ended up 
>>  getting on pretty well. Currently on a crusade against pedophiles on 
>>  the Internet.
>>
>>- The Virgin Hans
>>  The guy who coined the phrase "Adjective Assholes" (which I now use
>>in 
>>  preference to Adjective Army), and our most mighty home-grown troll. 
>>  The choice of Adjective was not my own.
>>
>>- Zagadka
>>  This is Brian. He deserves an Adjective, but he also deserves a 
>>  beating. He has decided to forego both these things.
>>
>>- Dyl
>>  One of our most prized regulars back in AGRA, he is believed to have 
>>  got a Social Life.
>>
>>- Stevie (The Raven)
>>  Another of our regulars from AGRA, he too left in pursuit of glory in 
>>  the Quake 2 clan ladder or something...
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>2) What do you *do*?
>>*************************
>>
>>We, as a group, exist to interact with each other. To exchange ideas,
>>experiences, opinions, humour and occasionally even sympathy. Tiberian
>>Sun is the latest in a series of RTS games which serves to gives us a 
>>common interest. Newcomers to this community fall into five categories;
>>
>>1/ Those who require help with the game - these usually receive
>>   assistance, along with such good-natured banter (or otherwise) as we
>>   believe the tone of their post warrants.
>>
>>2/ Those who, having tasted the nature of the community, wish to join in
>>   and become "one of us" - these are admitted, rejected or ignored
>>   depending on their merits.
>>
>>3/ Those who think we are all arrogant, ill-mannered kids who have 
>>   nothing better to do than sit around making fun of the less fortunate 
>>   and flaming the innocent - these are generally ridiculed by all and
>>   sundry, or are immediately accepted into the AA.
>>
>>4/ Lamers (generally [but not always] users of AOL or Hotmail) - these
>>   are frequently kill-filed on sight although sometimes they are
>>   lightly toasted first.
>>
>>5/ Trolls - these fall into two categories, "good" and "bad". The "good"
>>   one's have the ability to compose a rational argument and to express
>>   themselves well (Hans springs to mind as a good example) - these are
>>   often actually *welcomed* as a relief from the tedium of answering 
>>   lame questions, etc. The "bad" ones get a severe grilling from *all* 
>>   of the regulars until they crawl back under their bridge.
>>
>>We have recently started up a new tradition (they all have to begin
>>somewhere) - Adjectivizing other groups. This process generally involves
>>our arrival in the group, and the implementation of similar techniques
>>to those to be found in our other newsgroups. We talk to them, talk to
>>newbies, and generally expose them to our own style of banter :o)
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>2.1) What is Adjectivization?
>>*************************
>>
>>Put quite simply, it is "what we do", applied to a newsgroup near you.
>>We will choose a newsgroup every so often which we believe requires
>>our
>>attention. The aim of this is to get the regulars of that group to see
>>the lighter side of Usenet, not to annoy everybody in sight. We do,
>>however, have rules for this which Adjective Army members (referred to
>>as the "participants" from here) must follow:
>>
>>1) Participants must not change account details during it - if people 
>>    wish to killfile us, we should let them
>>2) Profanity is to be discouraged - if you can't troll without swearing,
>>    you're doing it wrong
>>3) All posts related to Adjectivization must be crossposted to AFAA. We
>>    ask that participants do *not* crosspost to AGTS or AGRA. That is 
>>    not what those groups are for.
>>4) On-Topic threads should not be targeted (unless they are just asking 
>>    to be trolled, in which case it is acceptable).
>>
>>Beyond these rules, what you do is entirely up to you. Bad Jokes© are
>>acceptable, so long as they are clean. Above all, make it fun both for
>>you and the people you're targeting. And make it funny. And remember, no
>>trip has been wasted if you make new friends, annoy more people, and
>>end
>>up in a few killfiles...
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>2.2) Help! I'm being Adjectivized!
>>*************************
>>
>>Do not fear - this is only a temporary problem. As our rules state, it
>>is not a permanent arrangement - we are merely here for a visit. Some
>>tips:
>>
>>- Do not try to convince us we have no life, and are just being stupid. 
>>  We know this. It really doesn't faze us.
>>
>>- There are very few insults we haven't heard before. If you are going 
>>  to object to us, please be original.
>>
>>- Killfiles *will* work. We don't change our From: lines in our headers, 
>>  and if you really feel you have to killfile us, do so. However, we 
>>  believe you'll be missing out, and since many regulars may accept us 
>>  and respond, you may have no choice anyway.
>>
>>- Complaints to ISPs are futile. Specifically, complaints to Zagadka and 
>>  The Unknown James's ISPs are impossible. Those members who do not
>>have 
>>  untraceable accounts are careful with what they say. There really is 
>>  no point in reporting people - it will only cause you pain and
>>  suffering in the long run, for both you and your newsgroup. This is
>>  not a threat, it is a fact.
>>
>>Also, remember that in participating, you are joining our Hall of Fame.
>>Currently, we have successfully Adjectivized the following groups:
>>
>>        alt.games.grand-theft-auto
>>
>>The following people were good sports, and were a source of much
>>humour:
>>
>>        Deb (AGGTA)
>>        Tiffany (AGGTA)
>>        Scott Freeman (AGGTA)
>>        Doctor Bob (AGGTA)
>>        James Heaver (AGGTA)
>>
>>If you think you deserve to be on this list, tell me :o)
>>
>>In addition to this, if you say anything which is especially witty or
>>amusing, then your quote may well find its way into AGRA.EST - a file
>>of all the funny things we hear in the course of our travels. This is,
>>despite what you may have heard, a great honour.
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>2.3) Are you sure you're not trolls?
>>*************************
>>
>>        Look, this is not a difficult concept to understand, really it
>>isn't... We are not trolls. Our purpose in your newsgroup is not to
>>annoy - it is merely to have fun. Here are some helpful hints
>>to let you figure this out for yourself:
>>
>>We do not crosspost to any newsgroups other than our own
>>We do not flame those who do not deserve it
>>We do not say things merely to annoy others
>>We do not stay longer than a few days (in general)
>>We do not constantly change headers to evade killfiles
>>
>>        In short, we are not trolling. We are just visiting your
>>newsgroup. Please try to make this as fun for yourselves as it is for
>>us.
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>2.4) What don't you do?
>>*************************
>>
>>        We do not "debate" with warez or hacking groups. There are two
>>reasons for this. The first is that we prefer not to be affiliated with
>>people whose actions may be considered as being immoral by others. The
>>second is that, invariably, in these groups you find people who are
>>better than you. While this has not proven to be the case yet, in an
>>infinite universe it can only be a matter of time... It is not a good
>>idea to attract too much negative attention from such groups.
>>
>>        Should a group ask that we discontinue discussions with them
>>which are not relevant to that group, we will try to either resist the
>>temptation to continue posting to that newsgroup, or bring the
>>discussion back to an on-topic one. It is not our intention to flood a
>>group with off-topic discussion when we can so easily flood it with on-
>>topic discussion. It is a lot harder to make people stop posting to a
>>thread if it is on-topic, and even harder if it is based on current
>>events. Having said that, we are not making any promises. Off topic
>>is fun.
>>
>>        We are against the self righteous (aside from ourselves). This
>>includes "net gods" and "netcops" (affectionately (or otherwise)
>>referred to as NetKKKops from time to time (and usually by me)).
>>Reporting people to their ISPs is generally to be frowned upon, unless
>>they display a total disregard for manners and good taste. Flaming is
>>always preferable, except in the case of spammers (AllAdvantage,
>>Pyramid
>>scams, that sort of thing). In these situations, reporting them is all
>>you can do. Unless their headers contain a static IP address for them,
>>in which case you crosspost the IP to some interesting groups. It should
>>be pointed out that if anybody wishes to complain about Adjective Army
>>members, you will have severe difficulty. Our two most prolific posters
>>use untraceable accounts with no "Terms of Service" agreement, and the
>>others always keep within the rules set out by their ISPs.
>>
>>        Humour is of key importance in posts - it is a far better weapon
>>that simple flames and profanity. Should what a member of the AA says
>>be especially amusing, the quote will be put into the AGRA.EST file - a
>>collection of our most amusing comments. These quotes are collected by
>>The Inane Dirk (when present), or saved for when he *is* present. In
>>addition to humour, good taste is also important. Crossposts to
>>technical support groups are not to be advised - if people require
>>genuine help, it doesn't seem fair to bug them. Queries about how to
>>complete level twelve of Zoigsplatters IV are not requests for genuine
>>help, and may be targeted accordingly should they have comic potential.
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>2.5) I love you guys. Where can I find out more?
>>*************************
>>
>>        I'm sorry, but if you're male, you're out of luck. The Adjective
>>Army doesn't swing that way (or, if they do, it's only with each other).
>>However, should you wish to find out more, drop by our newsgroups and
>>say hello. The chances are we'll greet you pleasantly enough, and after
>>quickly looting through your possessions, we'll make you feel at home.
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>2.6) I think you're making this up as you go along
>>*************************
>>
>>We are.
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>3) What is alt.fan.adjective-army?
>>*************************
>>
>>It's our "hangout". Where we coexist in peace, harmony, and flames. It's
>>a nice place, really, if you ignore certain people. It's usually the
>>place where all our more amusing threads get crossposted to, from
>>various newsgroups we are trolling and/or Adjectivizing.
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>3.1) What is considered on-topic in AFAA?
>>*************************
>>
>>Everything. Except turkey. Do not ask why.
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>3.2) My ISP hates you and won't add AFAA
>>*************************
>>
>>Contrary to popular belief (and a lot of nasty rumours), subscription to
>>AFAA is not a necessity. It has been known for people to survive whole
>>lifetimes without it. These lifetimes have not been long, but this is
>>irrelevant. Ask your news admin to add AFAA - if they refuse, then this
>>just shows that they're sensible. Should this happen, leave your ISP and
>>become a nomad. Alternatively, sign up with Altopia at
>>http://www.altopia.com/ for a great news service.
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>3.3) Is AFAA a trolling group?
>>*************************
>>
>>Most certainly not. Well, sort of. It depends. Every member of the
>>Adjective Army may use it for whatever they choose, and I personally use
>>it as a crossposting center for trolling. However, mainly, it's just a
>>generic annoyance group.
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>3.4) Who are these troll groups, and why are you crossposting there?
>>*************************
>>
>>- Alt.romath
>>Home of the Order of Romath. Trolls. But cool trolls.
>>
>>- Alt.troll
>>Your standard trolling group. This is just boring - where all the crap
>>on the Internet gets crossposted to.
>>
>>- Alt.fan.utb
>>This is the meeting place of the UTB (Under The Bridge), one of the
>>Adjective Army's favourite groups. They are not trolls - they are Usenet
>>Satirists, who fight people like pedophiles, and morons
>>
>>- Alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk
>>- Alt.fan.karl-malden.nose
>>My personal favourite groups. Home of cascades and floods. Fun :o)
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>3.5) Who are your enemies?
>>*************************
>>
>>People who knock my FAQ. Don't do that. Also, alt.games.starcraft is the
>>natural enemy of the Adjective Army, because they suck.
>>
>>
>>*************************
>>4) Anything Else?
>>*************************
>>
>>        If you feel I've missed anything out, then you can keep it to
>>yourself. I am not in the mood for hearing what a poor job I have done
>>on this FAQ. However, if people have *suggestions* for what I could
>>include in my next update, then feel free to tell me by replying to
>>this post with the details of it - I don't really demand money (honest).
>>People who just want to pick holes in the FAQ will have flames shoved
>>back up *their* holes. I spent f**king ages on this thing (although
>>you can't tell to look at it).... :o)
>>
>Needs to be bigger.  Here's part of a poke sig.
>
>--
>-Dima Safonov-
>ICQ: 4678513
>AIM: DimaInTheY2K
>
>
>POINT STADIUM
>14 Meeko-thinker points
>1 Meeko-Courage point
>40 EVIL points
>10 Jackass points
>23 "We Love ATR" points
>15 "You haven't killfiled WebTV, have you?" points
>10 Pokehunter points
>
>QUOTE ARENA
>
>TR SleepyAbra: Women dont have dicks
>SS5 Vegeta205: HOW DO YOU KNOE
>TR SleepyAbra: Because women have vaginas
>SS5 Vegeta205: WHAS
>TR SleepyAbra: YOU DONT KNOW WHAT A VAGINA IS? AHAHAHAH
>TR SleepyAbra: *rolls on the floor laughing*
>SS5 Vegeta205: I KNOW WHAT A VERGIN IS
>DimaTheAGNPer: ... LOL!!!!
>TR SleepyAbra: THIS is for the sig!
>
>
>SS5 Vegeta205: *RIPS OFF DIMA`S DICK AND BALLZ*
>DimaTheAGNPer: *as Doctor Proctor on Pokemon* Just glue it back with
>superglue
>
>SS5 Vegeta205: *kills the moon*
>
>SaIyAnKiD U5: YOU OXI MORON
>
>SaiyanKidU5 (7:18:21 PM): nat, i think girls have cooties why in
>the hell wood i wona touch a girl between the legs and any ways im too
>younge i dont even know what sex is exept i know if a guy and girl
>have sex
>the girl more then likely gets pregnut
>SaiyanKidU5 (7:18:46 PM): *whines* girls are bad
>SaiyanKidU5 (7:19:26 PM): hell no girls are pushy and besides
>that they dont let ya get in a fight
>
>
>
>SaBeR TR: Yuri is engaged.
>Agent O0O7: TO PIKACHU!?
>YodaX23: yes
>
>
>Trent Retwin: My Droideka's short
>
>TR Mondo: Damn you! Im crotch less now!
>TR Mondo: *Hits Abra with his teets*
>TR Mondo: *Crotch grows back* Mwahah
>
>NyasSux: Screw you
>TR Mondo: Not now
>
>eniLnIgnitiaW: EYYY! I WANT TO HUMP YOU MORE
>
>DimaTheAGNPer: Yeah I have a nice big tail
>DimaTheAGNPer: It grows where my penis should be.
>DimaTheAGNPer: Oh, wait, that IS my penis.
>SaIyAnKiD U5: *BITES DIMA`S TAIL*
>
>eniLnIgnitiaW: Hehehe..I have more cum that Dima!
>
>babymew11: Stop fucking me bastard!
>
>Scythrscy: ::runs search for "used panties"::Scythrscy: Oh God, 368
>matches.
>
>SaBeR TR: are any of you interested in bidding on a pair of Power
>Ranger
>panties?
>
>TheHalfling00: ::rapes a monkey X-quote=NO::
>TheHalfling00: ::makes his monkey child suck his balls::
>TheHalfling00: ::impregnates the monkey::
>
>SaiyanKid2000: quasar,  what book  victoria secrets i looked at one
>one time
>damn i dont see why  you would wona see a girl with only a bra and
>underpants on
>
>foratog5: No one gave me any balls...
>
>NyasSux: My dick defragmenter has been running for 30 minutes and its
>only
>18 % done
>
>SaiyanKidU5 (7:27:05 PM): well i kinda like girls i wona kill my self
>for
>thinking it tho
>
>Draedite: *laughs*  Nat, you need... training.  *Vader Breathing*
>Moonbreeze14: rofl, one could take that many ways, Dread. ^_^ *runs*
>
>SaiyanKid2000: nat, you,v bine ated by a shark
>
>Scythrscy: Yoshi, have you ever heard of punctuation?
>SaiyanKid2000: whats that
>
>TR Mondo: Suck my teet, you whore!
>
>ATR Crack Baby: *STABS DIMA WITH FABRIC SOFTNER*
>
>AGNPAmoe: JustifiedAncient: I'd fuck Nat
>Sleepy the Mage: I would too.
>
>babymew11: ::rapes Yoshi::
> --
>babymew11
>"an AGNP outcast"
>-----------------------
>Ways of contacting me:
>Email: patamons_l...@yahoo.com
>AIM: babymew11
>Yahoo ID: patamons_little_angel
>ICQ: 53681835
>
>Pokemon Fan Code Version 2.0
>
>A--- M+++/-- B---- P---- T---- Je+++/-- Ja----  Me+++/--
>Oj+++/-- Nj++++/- Po_ G_ Go+++/-
>"Shellder"++++  "Lara"+++ "Erika"+++
>"Holy Matrimony"+++  "Who Gets to Keep Togepi?"----
> [Fan Fiction] "Life and Death- The Conclusion"
>"The Time Has Come" Sf 12/Mass._W_ AGNP++
>
>Quote ‘o Mania
>
>DimaTheAGNPer: Mario: OH, PEACH! That feels GOOD!
>Peach: FASTER, MARIO, FASTER!!! Bowser: Ill just keep suckin'!
>
>TR Mondo: Bmew. I get to wear a sports bra really soon! =D
>
>SaiyanKid2000: *puts bum in a cofen and floats bum into a river*
>bum31: <teleports>
>bum31: <goes up onto the rafters>
>SaiyanKid2000: *slaps bum back down*
>bum31: <dodges>
>
>TR SpookyAbra: *glomps baby, nude*
>
>SaiyanKid2000:   I love hot sweaty throbbing cock, and I take it right
>up
>the ass, mmm mmm mmm!
>
>ZephyrXVII: Dima you condom leakage!
>
>ZephyrTank: and when you and your dad fuck you go into the basement
>DimaTheAGNPer: No, I stay in my own room.
>
>"Shouldn't Brock and Misty be doing it by now?"
>~Deanna B., one of my friends.
>
>"Wow THE Mew, that must be a lotof pressure. I mean A Mew is enough
>pressure, but THE Mew! Geez."
>~Jeff K.
>
>Jim West91: Eh, I suck at determining genders.
>
>JSolano199: Dima : "Look at me I'm so freakin stupid!!
>HARHARHARHAR!!
>
>babymew11: Damn IRC.
>ikazuchi: I agree,
>ikazuchi: IRC is for egocentric losers.
>ikazuchi: Like Dima. *WOFL*
>
>HurricaneAndrewZ: I set the Pic of Pikachu buttfucking Misty as the
>start
>page at school
>Sleepy the Mage: lol
>Tuxedo Rocket: O.o
>ATR Crack Baby: LOL
>HurricaneAndrewZ: The next day I graduated
>
>FoG x2: I wish parts of me were larger
>
>dstroy69: i could be a million ppaces better than here
>AGNPAmoe: Yeah, a spelling class
>
>SaiyanKid2000: *BITES DIMA AND GIVES DIMA DIABEETIES*
> --
>Rabuuri chaamino na kataki yaku, 
>
>~Ajikazia wonkycyber
>ANDREW Ingle, Ottakingu, Rider of Lugia
>
>http://come.to/chronicles --Chrono Trigger fanfiction. Visit, or be
>destroyed.
>http://zap.to/wonkypage ---GOT WONKY---YET?!
>http://members.tripod.com/~wonkycyber/ ---BETA... MORE WONKINESS!
>
>"Why do people rebuild things they know are going to be destroyed?
> Why do people cling to life when they know they can't live forever?
> Think how meaningless each of your lives is!"  --Kefka
>
>"And if my destiny is to die, then I must simply... laugh!" Magus
>
>"The end comes...beyond chaos." ~Kefka
>
>       Beginning Wonkycyber's Wonkysig...
>Loading...
>Loading...
>Loading...
>Spoiler Sig Space...
>Please be warned...
>Don't be spoiled now!...
>Sailormoon spoilers in this sig...
>As with Final Fantasy and many other series...
>
>       Wonkycyber's Wonkysig, now running...
>
>"tsuyosa wa subete o mitsumete kita akashi
>yasashisa toki ni wa jama ni naru orokasa"
>~Midnight Blue, The Slayers
>
>TR Mondo: Wonky is a little wonko
>
>Draedite: "Peace and love!  Wipe out the annoying people! ~wonkycyber"
>
>ToujiSuzuhara: wonkycyber, that's such a neat name
>ToujiSuzuhara: can i hit on you
>
>DOS v001a: You people are weird. You want me to change, yet you make
>no
>sence...
>
>N9tales: "Bishounen girls and Bishoujo guys, livin in a messed up
>Paradise." 
>
>"Treat people right, and they will treat you right as well... 90% of
>the time"
>~Roosevelt
>
>       I'm also known as:
>
>wonkycyber, Lord ANDREW, The Supreme Lord of Weirdness, TGA ANDREW,
>The Great
>Almighty ANDREW; IM Lugia, Lugia Rider, Ajikaze, Sailor Dima, Dima No
>Miko,
>Blue Warlord, That Darn Kid, V9CyberKid, Koiking of Doom, Demon
>Koiking,
>Koiking Avenger, Jynx and Christmas, Simper Z No Miko, THE Last
>Ancient, and
>many other names...
>
>"I must have C-Ko to be my friend!" ~B-Ko, Project A-Ko
>
>       -=+One of the Unknown AGNPers+=-
>
>KrnTwnkyYu: Who the heck is DimaTheAGNPer?
>DimaTheAGNPer: Im Dima.
>
>       -=+Points+=-
>
>5 Moder points for smashing tnn.games.pokemon! Woohoo!
>A random number of exploding monkey points that were shot into my
>mouth.
>15 Wanking Wonko points for bugging the hell out of Zephyr
>5 Weirdo Points
>1000 "What the fuck's up with all these damn points?!" points
>Infinite EVIL points, for I created them.
>A Cookie from Touga No Miko
>15 Generic TGP posts for typing a.. *gasp* on-topic post!
>
>CatGonk: CAHEEEEEEH!
>
>"Why can't you be like the other kids?" ~My Mother
>
>"Gah! What do you mean, Zoicite's a woman? He's OBVIOUSLY a Man!" ~Me
>seeing
>the dub SM Classic
>
>"Sailor Moon! We must beat the Doom Phantom and Wicked Lady of the
>Negamoon!"
>~Me being sarcastic after seeing the horrible Dic dub of SMR
>
>"You see, Michiru and I aren't really in love. We're actually sisters,
>but you
>see, I'm acting like a male so I can protect our identity while we
>search for
>the Magic Cup which shall bring forth The Cupholder." ~Me imagining a
>dub of
>Sailormoon S
>
>Draedite: DiC has a policy:  "If it's good, don't rerun it."
>
>O, the fun of translation! Every translation I've seen for Ami-chan's
>classic
>line in the Sailormoon R movie: 
>______
>Maybe Mamoru is liked as much by guys as he is by girls?
>Maybe Mamoru is popular with the guys as well as the girls?
>Maybe Mamoru is the kind of guy the guys like him too?
>Maybe Mamoru is gay?
>Maybe guys lust after Mamoru as much as girls do?
>Maybe Mamoru is also popular with the guys?
>Maybe Mamoru is being stalked by a homosexual?
>Maybe Mamoru is victim of the wrong side of a bat?
>Maybe Mamoru is a homosexual, too!
>___
>
>Dima126: You want me to be human again? NAH!
>
>"You're going to do it. You'll argue and fight with me about it, but
>in the
>end, you'll do as your told. Neither of us has any choice in the
>matter."
>~Belgarath, Belgarath the Sorcerer by David Eddings
>
>"Darkness from twilight, crimson from blood that flows; buried in the
>flow of
>time; in Thy great name, I pledge myself to darkness! Those who oppose
>us shall
>be destroyed by the power you and I possess! DRAGU SLAVE!!"
> ~Dragu Slave spell, The Slayers
>
>"Marketing kid's products to kids is just plain evil, and should be
>stopped." ~Derek Pierce, To quote FoG: "Moron Extraordiaire"
>
>"Gotta get in tune with the Sailormoon, cuz that show gots the boom
>anime babes
>that make me think the wrong thing!" ~One Week by Barenaked Ladies
>
>"Persian, Persian, that's our cat, he's the best and that is that!
>PERSIAN!"
>~Pikoo
>
>"Even if you're not the best at something, do it anyway if you enjoy
>it.  Just
>remember, if only the best birds in the woods sang, they'd be the only
>ones
>heard and shot by hunters.  Hey, wait a minute....."
>    --Ethan Einhorn
>
>"After much research into your Pokeman religion, I've come across
>something I
>don't understand. I read one of you all say something to the like of
>"Ash
>Pikachu is omni, but not nearly as omni as Icy Pikachu!" Which, of
>course, I do
>not understand. There are variant levels of omnipotence in your
>religion? And
>is this "Icy Pikachu" character the Supreme Pokeman you all worship?"
> ~Luc Makuma, The Akuma Seyu 
>
>DimaTheAGNPer: AH! MY LITTLE THING IA NOT A WEBSITE!
>
>Attempt 27: Requesting Network Attention... AOHell has failed to
>respond
>
>TakoTanku: That's right!  I'm a REGULAR, and don't you forget it!
>TakoTanku: I wield more power than you do, punk, so don't get in my
>way
>
>"Death is lighter than a feather, duty is heavier than a mountain"
>~Rand
>Al'Thor, The Wheel of Time book series, By Robert Jordan
>
>Scythrscy: I got to lick the wooden spoon and spatula. ^^
>Scythrscy: Mom had just put the beaters in the sink for a second while
>I went
>out there...and the cat jumped in and licked 'em.
>
>That didn't sound right... DOWN ZMAN!
>
>DimaTheAGNPer: I dont really understand what a pun is.
>wonkycyber: LOL! That's going in the sig.
>DimaTheAGNPer: Im stupid. :P
>wonkycyber: That too! LOL!
>DimaTheAGNPer: wonky, is your sig like 2 pages of Dima quotes?
>
>*SleepyAlakazam slaps DimaSaf around a bit with a rather large trout
>*wonky slaps DimaSaf around a bit with a rather large trout
>*WindMageXIII slaps DimaSaf around a bit with a rather large trout
>*DEX_BOT slaps DimaSaf around a bit with a rather large trout
>*Bar_tender slaps DimaSaf around a bit with a rather large trout
>*EnterTheGeko slaps DimaSaf around a bit with a rather large trout
>
>Dima126: Im in everyones sig
>
>Dima No Miko: Im not dumb enough to be a male priestess of myself like
>ZMAN!
>
>Draedite: *laughs*  Nat, you need... training.  *Vader Breathing*
>Moonbreeze14: rofl, one could take that many ways, Dread. ^_^ *runs*
>
>Dead Squirtle: are you still talking to me
>Payback512: No your on ignore
>
>"The FBI is at my house and they are taking me away. They
>plan to lock me up in a dungeon beneath the basements of the Sears
>Tower." --Marcus Yu
>
>"I say Pokeballs... no reaction... I say Great Balls.. No reaction!
>Ultra
>balls... No reaction.. But when I get to Master Balls, I hear
>snickers..." G i
>s e l l e
>
>EATpikachu:the japanese are taking your money? O_O
>Nob Donut:I'm Japanese. Gimme your money.
>
>"All of you who say Mewtwo is cheap can GO TO HELL!!!!! My level 72
>Mewtwo just beat a level 178 Nidorino. With Psychic. Need I say more?"
>~Pikoo 
>
>Dima No Miko: wonky is wonky, ZMan is ZMan, and Dima is Dim.
>
>"I don't make new posts about Pokemon, but I help people with it (I
>reply). I wish I didn't know so much about Pokemon... Ack.
>If I didn't know so much /ABOUT POKEMON/ then I would be posting more
>messages related to Pokemon." ~Dima
>
>SayainKid2OOO: I HATE GIRLS
>SayainKid2OOO: I LOVE BOYS
>SayainKid2OOO: THEY UNDERSTAND ME
>
>JSolano199: Sephiroth's a pretty boy
>
>TR Mondo: Don't worry, you all will get to see the full glory of
>Car'tos in a bra.
>
>DimaInTheY2K: *fucks Sabrina, Jessie and Misty* Ive got 3 cocks!
>
>       +==============-([FILL IN LATER])==============+ Your Quote
>here!
>
>I wanna have a bigsig too! Say something funny so I can put it in! 
>
>wonkycyber: I want lemons
>TR Mondo: Lemons... as in fruit?
>wonkycyber: As in lemon fics.
>wonkycyber: Hentai.
>wonkycyber: Ecchi
>wonkycyber: Sukube
>wonkycyber: Etc.
>MTSowbugs: Oh!  Stories about lemons having sex!  O_o
>
>
>wonkycyber: *Kicks self* Been doing latin too much. Garammer is 
>horrible now.
>Sailor Gonk: Wonky, it's "Grammar".
>wonkycyber: Oops -_-;;
>wonkycyber: Keyboard's also stuck, too.
>wonkycyber: Garammer... Heh. New word! ^^;;
>Sailor Gonk: Wonky, you said that about 9 times on TGP
>Sailor Gonk: It's not "Grammer".
>Sailor Gonk: You suck, man. ^_^
>Sailor Gonk: It rings in your ears
>wonkycyber: Grammar, Grammer... ick. You try taking four foreign
>languages and see how much your English degenerates!
>wonkycyber: Anyway, TGP isn't intelligent enough to notice my
>spelling.
>
>- Cat Gonk and me, on very little sleep.
>
>Sleepy the Mage: Hey! Press ALT-F4 for 500 AGNP points! You can get
>candy! WOW!
>TR Kueizaaa has left the room.
>
>"Boy, Faris sure is beautiful..." ~Galuf, FF5
>
>       +(=And now, Time for the greatest hits of "Z Man No Miko"=)+ 
>
>"Mesa Saila Ja Ja Binks, and mesa is gonna punish yous baddies!" ~Z
>Man
>
>"I think I'll go in with current trends and change my name to Z Man No
>Miko" ~Z
>Man 
>
>"Beron!" ~Z Man during his Lickitung transformations
>
>"I'm nat obsessed... er... not obsessed" ~Z Man
>
>ZManNoMiko: Lets all have Nasal sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>ZManNoMiko: I'm not a BS Artist!
>
>Z Man No Miko = A male priestess of himself. ACK!
>
>       Okay, time to leave poor Z-Man alone. ^_-
>       ...
>       And now it's time to pick on TGP! ^_^
>
>
>RainDanceAGNP: Is TGP worth looking on for anything useful, or is it
>nothing
>but troll fodder?
>
>"I am not stuck up. Why you refer to me as "The God of Hubris";
>perhaps I shall
>never know. But arrogance, vanity, greed, and stupidity are for lesser
>beings,
>such as yourself." ~Simper Z
>
>"I shall never surrender myself to your breed of Evil, Lugia Rider.
>For you may
>troll TGP, but you shall NEVER get to me. For the Judge, Jury, and
>Executioner
>have far less mercy than do I." ~Simper
>
>"Who are these Judge, Jury, and Executioner you refer to, Simper? Your
>imaginary friends?" ~CatGonk
>
>"Now...You have truly gone too far. If there is anything I hate more
>than you,
>it is evil. You are truly evil... I just wish I was not as merciful as
>I
>am...You would have already been dead if I was not as merciful as I
>am."
>~Simper Z
>
>"before you fight the trolls. you will learn have tospell and type.
>Jatk Ass"
>~Some random person on TGP. Ah, how ironic.
>
>"I don't believe in Cat-Gonk!" Johnathon Thomas making a BRILLIANT
>statement
>
>"If you wanna quote and/or mock me,do it right. Its
> "I don't belive in Cat Gonk" not "I don't belive in Cat Gonk!" ".
>  ~Jonathan Thomas NOT Johnathon Thomas
>
>"Gwaargh." ~The Troll Who Says Gwaargh, aka Z-Man No Miko (ROFLMAO)
>
>
>"this group wouldnt have more thn 30 posts if i didnt come back to
>save  your asses."
>
>- Alex. Pity that in my time, we clocked up to 500 a day.
>
>
>"TGP - A case study
>
>Field Notes
>Entry One - November 22, 1999
>After months of intensive study, I have begun recording my
>observations of tnn.games.pokemon, henceforth known as TGP. I feel it
>is my duty to catalog and study the new semi-sentient creatures
>emerging from this pond scum. Contained here is a catalog of all known
>major species to date.
>
>Lynn Champlin/'Jonathon Thomas'
>Appears to have aspirations of being dominant male of pack, held back
>only by: 
>a) It isn't exactly male
>b) Nobody else seems to listen to it
>'It' appears to be what is commonly refered to as a 'shemale' and
>suffers from multiple personality disorder, as indicated by the
>multiple names it calls itself. When attacked, it lets lose with an
>instinctive defensive reaction of attempting to cause brain
>hemmoraging in it's attacker through a series of badly punctuated
>gibberish. Further study may reveal connection between this and
>abnormally low intelligence levels.
>
>'Alex'
>An aggressive beast, likes to attack anything he doesn't like.
>Aggressive tendencies held in check only by blatant lack of
>intelligence and disregard for own defense. Has strange fetish with
>language pertaining to homosexuallity, may be indicative of sexual
>preferences - further study advised. Lingual abilities limited to
>poorly spelled racial slurs and baseless statments. Intelligence
>comparable to a rock. Possible mental disorders indicated by
>continually inventing 'friends', although this may be a normal
>function of his diminished intelligence, as seen in young human
>children.
>
>'Islander817'
>A quiet, timid beast, not much is known about it. Hints of
>hallucinatory drug use indicated by insistence of 'being here for last
>*insert number* of months, when this is cleary not so. Methods of
>luring this beast out must be developed before future study is
>possible.
>
>'Sandman'
>Apperently a follower of the 'Alex'. Possibly same entity, as is shown
>by similarities in behavioral patterns, may be indicative of mimicing
>seen in some monkeys. Further study pointless.
>
>Study of rarer creatures deemed too diffucult at current time, change
>in behavioural patterns from oncoming winter may deem study worthy.
>End field entry one."
>
>- FoG
>
>--- END TGP QUOTES
>
>----Here's an excerpt from my TGP-fic,  "Castlevania: Symphony  of
>tnn.games.pokemon":
>
>       Catter Belgonk: Die, Simper. You don't belong in this world!
>
>       Count Simper: It was not by my hand that I had once again
>returned to AGNP. I
>was called     back forth by, AGNPers, wishing for MY research.
>
>       Catter: Research? You steal Azure's work, and call it your
>own!
>
>       Simper: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL you Azures... I
>DESERVE TO BE IN
>               AZURE!!!!!!!!
>
>       Catter: Azure ill needs a member such as you.
>
>---And an excerpt from one of my PW! Chapters:
>
>"PUFFFFF!!!!" The Jigglypuff ran into an alley. Nurip followed.
>
>       It had hit a dead end. There was nowhere to turn. It looked up
>at Nurip,
>wide-eyed in fear. It was so cute, so helpless. It couldn't hurt
>anybody. All
>it wanted to do was sing… a large, cute tear fell from the frightened
>Jigglypuff's eye. It quivered in fear. It still had a career of
>singing to
>live. It couldn't die now…
>
>       Nurip looked at the creature. How could he harm the innocent
>creature? It was
>so cute, so helpless… couldn't hurt anybody… what kind of life was he
>leading? Why was he doing it? It was so cute… so helpless…
>
>       The Jigglypuff's pain-filled agonizing scream could be heard
>for miles.
>
>---Hell, why not my other character's motto, as well?
>
>       "The destruction of the world… I shall avert it…
>       Life is a game, how do you play your moves…?
>       Evil is the wrong way, prepare yourself. ..
>       To make the world blue, and have happiness abound…
>       Get ready, forces of darkness, because…
>       The Wonkycyber and Team Wonky is here!"
>
>---Cool! I got into Late Night With Jose Salano!
>
>Jose: We're back. Our first mystery guest is....
>
>(Someone with a paper bag over their head walks out)
>
>Jose: Wonkycyber!
>
>(Wonky takes over the bag)
>
>Wonky: Great to be here!
>
>Jose: So, what's it like trolling TGP?
>
>Wonky: Lonely. VERY lonely.
>
>Jose: So why did you do it?
>
>Wonky: Bored.
>
>Currently, I wield:
>       THE Mystic Relic of THE Ancients.
>       The Rather Large Trout of Slapping Around a Bit
>       The Triforce of Weirdness
>       The Legendary Wonkysword
>       The Book of Wonkiness
>       The Mystical Magical Socks of Great Power
>       The Anti-demon  ofuda, or "stickers", of with which I shall
>banish trolls and
>spammers.
>       The Anti-Plonk Revelations
>       The "Z Man is Strange" Book
>       The Coathanger WEAPON
>       A Pathetically short sig. Gimme stuff to add for it.
>       An English Mario RPG ROM! WORKING! Woohooo!
>And other cool stuff...
>
>An excerpt from my Pika-gram to one of the "Pokemon is evil" pages.
>
>"Kadabra, Kada! Kakakaka, kadabra! Kadabra! Abra, kad, kada, kadabra!
>Kaaaadabra! Kaka? Kadabra, kadabra dabra dabra! Abrakadabra! Kadabera,
>kadabra?
>KADABRA!!!! KADABRA KADABRA! Kadabra, Kada! Kakakaka, kadabra!
>Kadabra! Abra,
>kad, kada, kadabra! Kaaaadabra! Kaka? Kadabra, kadabra dabra dabra!
>Abrakadabra! Kadabera, kadabra? KADABRA!!!! KADABRA KADABRA! Dabra,
>abra,
>Kadabra abra ra bra! Daaabra! Kadabra? Abra, Kadabra! Abra abra abra,
>kadabra?
>Kaaaaaaaaa dabra!"
>
>An ode to youma, by Scortia-chan
>
>Oh youma oh youma,
>You die everyday,
>Oh youma oh youma,
>You never can stay,
>They say you're disposable,
>There's lots more of you,
>But they must remember,
>That you have feelings too.
>
>__
>A Memorial to AGNP's oddest troll.
>__
>
>Sorry, but this newsgroup is cancelled" 7/3/99"
>
>Cancellation time is near!" 7/5/99"
>
>This newsgroup will be terminated" 7/6/99"
>
>You stupid pinheads will be damaged forever after this news group is
>shutdown
>forever and ever!!!" 7/20/99
>
>-RSan687689
>__
>
>---[=  (A Plug :P)
>If you have read this far, visit... 
>[{ http://zap.to/wonkypage/ }]
> --
> --
>Another troll-o-stupid® reply,© Wayway '00.
>http://outsider17.itgo.com
> --
>I don't have any enemies. I like to think that this is because
>I'm a friendly and thoughtful person. However, the real reason
>is because all of my enemies have been cut up into little pieces
>and made into cat food.
> --
>®Points®
>Giver of...
>Bill Clinton points,
>En Taro Kabutops Points.  Share them with your Starcraft friends.
>
>*Points earned*
>5 Andy Gave Me Points.
>50 Heil to Goddish points
>50 I know someone who has a zombie for a pet points
> --
>In the beginning, there was the computer. 
>And God entered: C:\Let there be light! 
>Enter user ID 
>C:\God 
>Enter password 
>C:\Omniscient 
>Invalid password 
>Enter password 
>C:\Omnipotent 
>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. 
>C:\ Let there be light. 
>Unrecognizable command 
>C:\Create light 
>Done 
>C:\Run heaven and earth 
>And God created Day and Night 
>And God saw that there were 0 errors. 
>And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. 
>
>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2. 
>C:\Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light 
>Unrecognizable command. Try again. 
>C:\Create firmament 
>Done. 
>C:\Run firmament 
>And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0 errors. 
>And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2. 
>
>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3. 
>C:\Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and
>let the dry land appear and... 
>Too many characters in specification string. Try again. 
>C:\Create dry_land 
>Done. 
>C:\Run firmament 
>And God saw there were 0 errors. 
>And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3. 
>
>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4. 
>C:\Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night 
>Unspecified type. Try again. 
>C:\Create sun_moon_stars 
>C:\Run sun_moon_stars 
>And God separated the light from the darkness. The sun ruled over the
>day and the moon and stars ruled over the night. 
>And God saw there were 0 errors. 
>And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4. 
>
>And God logged on at 12:01AM, Thursday, March 5 
>C:\Create fish 
>Done 
>C:\Create fowl 
>Done 
>C:\Run fish, fowl 
>And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
>creepeth where the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl
>after its kind. 
>And God saw there were 0 errors. 
>And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5. 
>
>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6. 
>C:\Create cattle 
>Done 
>C:\Create creepy_things 
>Done 
>C:\Now let us make man in our image 
>Unspecified type. Try again. 
>C:\Create man 
>Done 
>C:\Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and
>have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air
>and
>over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth 
>Too many command operands. Try again. 
>C:\Run multiplication 
>Execution terminated. 6 errors. 
>C:\Run Breath 
>Done 
>C:\Run multiplication 
>Execution terminated. 5 errors. 
>C:\Move man to Garden of Eden 
>Filename: Garden of Eden does not exist. 
>Abort, Retry, Ignore? 
>C:\Create Garden_of_Eden 
>Too many parameters 
>C:\Create Garden Eden. 
>Done 
>C:\Move man to Garden of Eden. 
>Done 
>C:\Run multiplication 
>Execution terminated. 4 errors. 
>C:\Copy woman from man 
>Done 
>C:\Run multiplication 
>Execution terminated. 2 errors. 
>C:\Create desire 
>Done 
>C:\Run multiplication 
>And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden
>Eden. 
>Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors. 
>C:\Create freewill 
>Done 
>C:\Run freewill 
>And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden
>Eden. 
>Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors. 
>C:\Undo desire 
>Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created. 
>C:\Destroy freewill 
>Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. 
>Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help. 
>C:\Help 
>Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created. Freewill is an
>inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter replacement, cancel,
>or
>ask for help. 
>C:\Create tree_of_knowledge 
>C:\Create good, evil 
>Done 
>C:\Activate evil 
>And God saw he had created shame. 
>Warning system error in sector E95. 
>Man and woman no longer located in Garden.edn. 1 errors. 
>C:\Scan Garden.edn for man, woman 
>Search failed. Abort, Retry, Ignore? 
>C:\Delete shame 
>Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated. 
>C:\Destroy freewill 
>Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.  Enter
>replacement,cancel, or ask for help. 
>C:\Stop 
>Unrecognizable command. Try again 
>C:\Ctrl_Break 
>C:\Ctrl_Break
>
>ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: 
>COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN 
>FIVE
>MINUTES 
>PLEASE LOG OFF. 
>
>C:\Create new world 
>You have exceeded allocated file space. You must destroy old files
>before new ones can be created. 
>C:\ Destroy earth 
>Destroy earth: Please confirm. 
>C:\Destroy earth 
>Confirmed 
>
>COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. 
>SERVICE WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 12:01 AM. 
>YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW. 
>
>And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6. 
>
>On Saturday, March 7, God rested. 
>
>On March 8, God created Macintosh.
>
>Seeing that he could do better...
>
>On March 9, God created Linux.
> --
>http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/
>Not my site, but I like the content.
> --
>
> _             __     ______        _______     _____
>| |           | |    /ºººººº\      /ººººººº\   |     |  
>| |           | |  /ººº/ \ººº\    /ººº/ \ººº\  |  ___|
>| |   _____   | | /ººº/   \ººº\  /ººº/   \ººº\ | |
>| |  /  __ \  | ||ººº|     |ººº||ººº|     |ººº||  ¯¯¯|
>| | / /   \ \ | |\ººº\    /ººº/ \ººº\    /ººº/ | |¯¯¯
>| |/ /     \ \| | \ººº\  /ººº/   \ººº\  /ººº/  | |
>|___/       \___|  \ºººººººº/     \ºººººººº/   | |
>                    ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯        ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯     ¯¯
>To the Troll Army of Meow
> --
>What's the one thing you believe in most strongly?
>Grapes. I strongly believe in grapes. 
>
>Describe an experience you'll never forget.
>Eating grapes. 
>
>What's the easiest way to get on your nerves?
>By saying you hate grapes.
> --
>~Character is like a tree, and reputation like its shadow. The shadow
>is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.
>
>~Q: How are sex and air a lot alike?
>~A: Neither one's a big deal unless you're not getting any.
>
>~EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a
>man.
>
>~How can men possibly use sex to get what we want? Sex is what we
>want!
>
>~Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex
>raises some pretty good questions.  
>
>~A promiscuous person is someone who is getting more sex than you are.
>
>~Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless
>experiences go, it's one of the best. 
>
>~Sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's
>fantastic.
>
>And just how may I screw you over today?
>
>Does your train of thought have a caboose?
>
>So many freaks, so few circuses
>
>Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
>
>Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
>
>Here I am!  Now what are your other 2 wishes?
>
>Chaos, panic, and disorder....my work here is done.
>
>Okay, okay, I take it back!  UnFuck you!  
> --
>Just back from my world record breaking attempt at freefall hand
>jiving from Everest I am keen to catch up with any buddies who have a
>genuine interest in root vegetables namely the parsnip and swede. 
>Failing that if you were in 'nam (Cheltenham that is...Vietnam was for
>losers)  in 1990-1996 then we can share some stories, alterntatively i
>can talk to anyone with an 'r' in their name on the first friday of
>the month. I once had a toilet duck called Gerald; we used to trip the
>light fantastic down at the Palais, but that burned down and his love
>for me followed soon after. From those ashes came a new love in the
>form of a sheepskin jacket named Colin. He left me soon after the
>romance started and ran off with a leatherette poncho going by the
>name of Lesley. I'm still bitter but may have the energy to type to
>you....give me a try.
> --
>the great white clouds
>may kiss the sky,
>the birds may
>kiss the butterfly,
>the morning dew
>may kiss the grass,
>but u my friend may kiss my ass
> --
>-
>"Your thoughts are coming through on my phone"
>*Jeez, that ladies got a huge ass*
>"Those could be anyone's thoughts fat ass"
>--
>"Look I hate lying, it's just the best way to stop people from knowing
>the
>truth".
>--
>"You know mother, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know
>what your
>going to get. Your life however is like a box of active grenades"
>--
>"Fox is running one of those new reality programs, fast animals, slow
>children".
>--
>"Because of an accident today, the Quahog Tv transmitter will be out,
>of
>course no one can see this news program, so it doesn't matter what I
>say.
>I'm the lord Jesus Christ, think I'll get drunk and beat up some
>midgets"
>--
>"Are you going to tell me what i need to know, or am I going to have
>to show
>you my ass"
>---
>"Hey barkeep who's leg do have to hump to get a dry martini around
>here"
>--
>This sig would be longer, but this is the last amount of space there
>is to
>write in.
>--
>Outsider.
>http://agsc.itgo.com
>
>We are AOL.  Prepare to be imitated.  Your bugs, deficiencies, and
>inadequacies will be added to our own.  Join us.  Resistance is easy.


-- 
The Unknown James

Things I have been called so far (further suggestions welcome):

A Troll
A Moron
An Under-Bridge-Denizen
An Adjective Asshole
A User of Silly Birds
A Thirty Year Old
A Twenty-Two Year Old
A Homosexual
A Crossposter