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Article #271188

Re: Lighten up (2)/ "The Yanks" ;-)

#271188
From: slai...
Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2000 00:00
103 lines
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In article <3A1ACE56.B967290E@my.place>,
  Quaestor <no.spam@my.place> wrote:
> teal...@my-deja.com wrote:
>
> > Jokes That Prove The U.S. of A. is a laughing stock.... :-)
>
> They only laugh at us because the US is the central focus of the
world.
> When we belch, others say "ahhhhh."  When we buy, everyone else gets
rich.
> When we fly, "the world" goes to the moon.  When we finally get off
the pot
> and make war, they all say "SHEEEEE-IT!  Who got THEM mad?"  When we
itch,
> the world scratches itself.  It is this way because we have the right
idea,
> how to build and operate a great society.  It's not perfect, but it
totally
> dwarfs whatever is in second place.
>
> I say all this not out of a sense of dominance, or desire to put
anyone down
> (how 60's!), but as a simple statement of fact, and an expression of
concern
> over the fact that what we do matters, and effects almost everyone in
the
> world, and we thus have to hold ourselves (who else is going to do
it?) to a
> high standard.
>
> And then I think of the gawdawful mess going on in Florida (where
floride
> was invented?), and want to laugh hysterically for a very long time.
:-)
>
> > Q. Why do Yank women dislike sunbathing nude on the beach?
> > A. Theyre afraid GreenPeace will tow them back out to sea.
>
> Rediculous.  Most american women are now so scrawny, "boney" is
considered
> fat.
>
> > Q. Whats the difference between a Yank and a parrot?
> > A. One is loud, repetitive, and obnoxious, the other is a bird.
>
> On the other hand, the Yank is worth listening to, even if it IS loud,
> repetitive, repetitive, repetitive, and fucking obnoxious.
>
> > While driving along the track, two Redneck Yanks come to a
> > Bridge with a sign: "Clearance 12 feet". Jeb gets out to measure
> > his truck, which is 12 foot 4 inches high... then looks around
> > shiftily.... "Not a Cop in sight, C^mon, lets take a chance!!".
>
> The non-yank comes to such a bridge, sees the sign, and keeps driving.
> "Whutz that noyz?"
>
> > Q. How many Yanks does it take to change a light-bulb?.
>
> How many Yanks did it take to INVENT the lightbulb?
>
> > Q. What do you call a field full of Yanks?
>
> Half of a World Series.
>
> > Q. What do you do when a Yank throws a hand-grenade at you?
>
> Answer: dead silence.  (It's one of them think jokes.)
>
> > Q. What does a Yank say when you ask him if his car indicator is
> > working??.
>
> It says, "Yes, you have a car."  (Car indicator?)
>
> I take a lot of pride in the fact that no other people, society,
nation in
> the world has ever been so central to everything that goes on in the
world,
> and this we have achieved with no empire, no threat to create an
empire, and
> in fact giving up what little empire ever fell to us (Philipines, not
> because we didn't know what to do with it, but because we DID).  It is
> indeed a very good thing that we are what we are, and that because we
are
> Who we are, and do what we do, and willingly shoulder the burden as
> patriarch of the human race.  If we have to put up with the
nonsensical
> ravings of a few "troubled teens," well, that's part of the job.
>
> --
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>

Dang, that was nicely done!

slaine


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From: slai...@my-deja.com
Subject: Re: Lighten up (2)/ "The Yanks" ;-)
Date: 2000/11/21
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