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Article #271188Re: Lighten up (2)/ "The Yanks" ;-)
From: slai...
Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2000 00:00
Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2000 00:00
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4332 bytes
In article <3A1ACE56.B967290E@my.place>, Quaestor <no.spam@my.place> wrote: > teal...@my-deja.com wrote: > > > Jokes That Prove The U.S. of A. is a laughing stock.... :-) > > They only laugh at us because the US is the central focus of the world. > When we belch, others say "ahhhhh." When we buy, everyone else gets rich. > When we fly, "the world" goes to the moon. When we finally get off the pot > and make war, they all say "SHEEEEE-IT! Who got THEM mad?" When we itch, > the world scratches itself. It is this way because we have the right idea, > how to build and operate a great society. It's not perfect, but it totally > dwarfs whatever is in second place. > > I say all this not out of a sense of dominance, or desire to put anyone down > (how 60's!), but as a simple statement of fact, and an expression of concern > over the fact that what we do matters, and effects almost everyone in the > world, and we thus have to hold ourselves (who else is going to do it?) to a > high standard. > > And then I think of the gawdawful mess going on in Florida (where floride > was invented?), and want to laugh hysterically for a very long time. :-) > > > Q. Why do Yank women dislike sunbathing nude on the beach? > > A. Theyre afraid GreenPeace will tow them back out to sea. > > Rediculous. Most american women are now so scrawny, "boney" is considered > fat. > > > Q. Whats the difference between a Yank and a parrot? > > A. One is loud, repetitive, and obnoxious, the other is a bird. > > On the other hand, the Yank is worth listening to, even if it IS loud, > repetitive, repetitive, repetitive, and fucking obnoxious. > > > While driving along the track, two Redneck Yanks come to a > > Bridge with a sign: "Clearance 12 feet". Jeb gets out to measure > > his truck, which is 12 foot 4 inches high... then looks around > > shiftily.... "Not a Cop in sight, C^mon, lets take a chance!!". > > The non-yank comes to such a bridge, sees the sign, and keeps driving. > "Whutz that noyz?" > > > Q. How many Yanks does it take to change a light-bulb?. > > How many Yanks did it take to INVENT the lightbulb? > > > Q. What do you call a field full of Yanks? > > Half of a World Series. > > > Q. What do you do when a Yank throws a hand-grenade at you? > > Answer: dead silence. (It's one of them think jokes.) > > > Q. What does a Yank say when you ask him if his car indicator is > > working??. > > It says, "Yes, you have a car." (Car indicator?) > > I take a lot of pride in the fact that no other people, society, nation in > the world has ever been so central to everything that goes on in the world, > and this we have achieved with no empire, no threat to create an empire, and > in fact giving up what little empire ever fell to us (Philipines, not > because we didn't know what to do with it, but because we DID). It is > indeed a very good thing that we are what we are, and that because we are > Who we are, and do what we do, and willingly shoulder the burden as > patriarch of the human race. If we have to put up with the nonsensical > ravings of a few "troubled teens," well, that's part of the job. > > -- > - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - > Spammers: Don't tread on me - your spam is not allowed at my place. > Fee for processing UCE, UBE, SPAM: $1000 per item, plus collection. > - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - > > Dang, that was nicely done! slaine Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
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From: slai...@my-deja.com Subject: Re: Lighten up (2)/ "The Yanks" ;-) Date: 2000/11/21 Message-ID: <8vene9$5nn$1@nnrp1.deja.com> X-Deja-AN: 696302416 References: <8vdn27$91i$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <3A1ACE56.B967290E@my.place> X-Http-Proxy: 1.0 x73.deja.com:80 (Squid/1.1.22) for client 206.141.240.103 Organization: Deja.com - Before you buy. X-Article-Creation-Date: Tue Nov 21 20:54:37 2000 GMT X-MyDeja-Info: XMYDJUIDslaine_1 Newsgroups: alt.tv.star-trek.voyager,alt.games.quake2,alt.games.quake3,alt.games.doom X-Http-User-Agent: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 4.01; MSN 2.5; MSN 2.5; Windows 98; AIT) MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit