🚀 go-pugleaf

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Version 0.80               'Eyescreamin'                Last Updated: 96/01/15
* Ascii Art * (c) 1995 * ste...@thurgood.demon.co.uk * to...@tsys.demon.co.uk *


* Contents
        About the FAQ
          What's new?
        Pointer to the rec groups
        About a.g.q and the rec groups
        About the Group
        Common Topics

* Appendices

        APPENDIX A * WaReZ N0t1CeS!!!!!!
        APPENDIX B * Infamous posters
        APPENDIX C * Lifebane FAQ

* About the FAQ ******************************************************

I suggest you read the agq faq.  It has tons of Quake info in it.  Ok, 
not tons, but lots.  Well, some.  Not to much.  Ok, it has a paragaph.
Er, sentence.  It has the word 'Quake' in it.  Isn't that enough?

**********************************************************************

 This FAQ is created and posted by Tom Wheeley, to...@tsys.demon.co.uk
 
 !!!!    There is little or no information about Quake here    !!!!
 !!!! For info on Quake, read my Quake mini FAQ or QuakeTalk.  !!!!

* Whats New?

  + Updated Rules
  + info on rec.games.compuer.quake.*

* Pointer to the rec.games.computer.quake.* groups *******************

For *real* information about Quake, the game, try these groups:

    news:rec.games.computer.quake.anounce (moderated)
    news:rec.games.computer.quake.misc
    news:rec.games.computer.quake.editing

alt.games.quake is more of a discussion forum, on all manner of topics

* About alt.games.quake and rec.games.computer.quake.* ***************

 + The rec.games.computer.quake.* groups have now been created!

   Please note that all 'WTF do I do with the firemask' type questions
   should go there, not here.  I do no not expect as much a.g.q. style
   discussion to go on there, as they are real groups for discussion
   of playing/editing/serving Quake unlike us. ;)

   However, a.g.q. diehards, a.g.q will not be the same when Quake
   comes out.  It will simply be a paler version of the rec groups.
   We will need to find a new place, free from boring, serious
   'WTF do I do...' style questions.  Even if we try to enforce things
   through a FAQ or summat, there are *always* dumb newbies, and the
   discussion will be to contrived. :(  how about:
   alt.games.game-after.quake ?  rec.games.computer.quake.fascists ? =)
   (Please note that the people behind r.g.c.q.* are not fascists, AFAIK)

* Where can I get a.g.q. souvenirs
  
  You can now get lots of Quake and OFFICIAL A.G.Q. MERCHANDISE from
  my listserver.
  Just send mail to with *body* not subject: 'index'  to:

      mailto:lists...@tsys.demon.co.uk

* About the Group ****************************************************

 This group was once intended for discussion and speculation on the
 supa-dupa up-'n'-comin game by id Software.
 It will be the definitive violent game.
                                        
 However, things change... 

*+*+* R u l e s   o f   t h e   G r o u p *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

1.  No-one of the name 'Keegan' is allowed to post here. (Or 'Keen')
2.  No WaReZ SpEeK!!1!
3.  No Binaries.  Ever.
4.  No trolling - (You suck|Quake sucks|Macs rule|Win95 rules/sucks)
5.  No cross-posting to *any* mac newsgroup...
6.  Flaming can be fun.  Just don't get petty or personal. That's sad.
7.  Absolutely *no* 'WTF do I do with the firemask'[tm] questions!

**********************************************************************

 "If you looked up 'Waste of Bandwith' in the dictionary,
                             it would have a little picture of a.g.q."
   
* Popular Topics *****************************************************

  Well, seeing as the game is not yet released (allegedly released
  around the Winter Solstice or March... When it's finished FFS!) 

  + Quake vs XXXX
    These topics crop up whenever a new game is released.  They last
    for a couple of weeks/months until the next game turns up.  Flaming
    people by saying that this is off-topic is pointless.

  + GIVE US QUAKE NOW YOU BASTARDS.  LETS MAILBOMB id!!!!111!!! KewL!
    Don't be such a fuckwit.  Mailing id just slows down id and
    pisses off American, so he is less likely to give us demos etc.

  + I have a Quake Beta. WaReZ R00Lz
    Yes.  This is getting a _little_ old now.  Grow up.  There will be
    no outside beta testing by id.  Ever.  Especially not *you*.

  + Where can I get a Quake Demo?
    Go easy on the newbies.  Don't worry everyone, when there is a
    Quake Demo, you *will* hear about it.  It will even be on the doom
    group rec.games.computer.doom.announce.  It will be in your face.
    It will be on evry coverdisc.  Mac users will go into mourning.

  + I am The Sean Keegan.  You Suck.  Macs will eat you for breakfast.
    Operating System wars are strictly off-topic.  This will be
    enforced (Don't ask me how :) from the beginning of 1996 GMT.
    Oh, BTW, Macs blow: you will not get Quake for another 2 years
    so ner!  Bwahahahaha <g>

  + X peripheral [sucks/rules/is [better/worse] than Y peripheral].
    These die down after about 10 posts.  Flaming them for being off-topic
    is a waste of time, effort, money, bandwidth, brain-cells, reputation.
    Sometimes they are useful (eg could someone please tell me the best
    value for money/speed >1Gb EIDE hard disk?  Seriously.)

  + I can program better than you.
    These can be funny and informative, but please don't get too involved!
    This is only a.g.q after all.

  + xxxxxxx.uue [012/523]
    uhhh, NO.  What could you post anyway?  Everyone will hate you if you do.
    Everyone can ftp/ftp-by-mail/get alt.binaries.*

* How well coded do you think Doom is? *******************************

 A thought: what Doom-a-like runs faster... ? Stumped? Hmmm

**********************************************************************

Name:
 Sean Werkama
Expertise:
 Programming, seemingly specialising in games
So when is his Quake-killer appearing?
 Don't know, Sean?
Does he know what he is talking about?
 General consensus seems to be that he does (heh, bet you're laughing now :)

Name:
 John Skinner
Well known on a.g.q?
 Not really.

Consider this.  Doom was written over two years ago, in plain ANSI C with
a small smattering of Assembler (AFAIK the Refresh daemon.............).
At that time, the only other 3D first person games were Wolf3D and several
appalling clones of that.  Doom appeared, breaking the right-angle barrier
and ran well enough (if you'd never played it on a 486) on a 386sx20.

John Skinner mentioned that Doom was poorly written.

Sean Werkama responded:

> Um, are you trying to convince me to mail-bomb you?  DOOM is one of the
> best-optimized pieces of code ever written; most 3-D engines after it hope
> to do half as well.  Carmack did a brilliant job and if you can't handle
> it, well, too bad.  Learn to recognize quality when you see it.

To which John Skinner retorted:

> HA HA HA HA HA!  That's the funniest thing I have ever heard.  DOOM is one
> of the best-optimized pieces of code ever written?  HA!  You haven't seen
> enough code to know what good optimization is.  Wolfenstien was better
> optimized than DOOM.  Why?  Because Wolf was (at first) a single platform
> game and therefore didn't need to be written to be portable.  You lose a
> lot of good optimization when you want to be portable (like with DOOM).

Now please.  Wolfenstein was better optimised because it only used right-
angles with constant floor/ceiling/lighting.  That made all the maths
pathetically easy.

Optimisation is not all writing in assembler with undocumented OS calls in
order to save a couple of cycles.  Far more important is the algorithms which
are used; the kind of optimisation John Skinner was talking about *is* used
by id -- your cycle cutting is neede most in the game refresh loop.  There is
no point wasting time and effort in optimising rarely used or unnoticeable
parts of the game.

I leave you with Seans words:

> I've just about given up on this guy Skinner.  He's made a sufficient number
> of absolutely moronic postings and e-mail messages that as far as I'm 
> concerned, he's a total idiot (ranks right up there with the Keegan).

* Infamous posters ***************************************************

"If you looked up "Moron"  in the dictionary it would say
                         'See Infamous posters section of a.g.q FAQ.'"

**********************************************************************
(In no particular order)


Name:
 Kyle R. Hofmann
But isn't his name Roger?
 No, it isn't.  You don't believe headers do you, 'tard?
So what does he think of himself?
 Considers he has the best WaReZ notice ever
Hmm, If he is so good at WaReZ notices, do you think he's had practice?
 No Comment... (Just what exactly _were_ you doing on #warez5, Kyle?)
Just what exactly were _you_ doing on #warez5 to see Kyle there?
 Ha ha, very funny.
What else does he do?
 Well, he is RFDing r.g.c.q.*
That is a Good Thing, does he do any Bad Things?
 Yes, in this respect he is lower than 'the Sean Keegan'.
Lower than Sean, Aw! c'mon!
 Ok, not that bad...
How come?
 The miserable little git sent me Wolf3D for not including his WaReZ notice.
Really, what a complete bastard, did you send anything in return?
 Well, as it happens, the source to Linux
Did he get it?
 Apparently not, I'll retry when I get _really_ bored?
Is that it?
 I do hope so, for his sake.  Source to X is next on my list.
Anything else?
 Fancies himself at Ascii Quake logos
Oh, any examples?
 .---.  .-. .-.  .---.  .-.  .-..---.  .---.  .-. .-.  .---.  .-.  .-..---.
| .-. | | | | | / .-. \ | | / / | .-'  | .-. | | | | | / .-. \ | | / / | .-'
| | | | | | | | | `-' | | |/ /  | `-.   | | | | | | | | | `-' | | |/ /  | `-.
| | | | | | | | | .-. | | |\ \  | .-'   | | | | | | | | | .-. | | |\ \  | .-'
| `-' \ | `-' | | | | | | | \ \ | `-.  | `-' \ | `-' | | | | | | | \ \ | `-.
 `---\/  `---'  `-' `-' `-'  `-'`---'  `---\/  `---'  `-' `-' `-'  `-'`---'
Err, the second word is fucked?!
 Doh! Its a 3D auto-stereogram (apparently) 
Any other pursuits?
 well, a little while ago someone remarked:
 > Kyle R. Hoffman....now that sounds like a serial killer's name to me.
 > Keep it in mind folks, we may be seeing this guy on the news someday.
 I am inclined to believe them...


Name:                                          
 Casey Robinson
Notable Features:
 Smartarse, bad ASCII artist, desperate to be FAQd (or FAQd with a U?)
Excuses?
 Yup, sleep dep[rivation] makes me stupid.
So how low does this ASCII go?
 Err, you really want to see?
Yeah!
 
      /|||\
      |||||
      |||||
     \`o.O'
     =(   )=
        U

See?
 Arrg, sorry I asked.

Hmm, did he draw it all by himself?
 No, the base cat is by Mark Stevens
Does it have a name?
 Oral Bill, I think
Any other artistic talents?
 Umm, I do like his 'If you look up XXX in the dictionary...'


Name:
 Khorne
Where do I find him?
 In your shit, where else?
Where does he find him?
 In his shit or course
Notable for:
 He's the latest fred@666
Been keeping up appearances?
 Well, worryingly, he seems to have sobered up a bit recently.
Any friends?
 Dunno.  We have had 'Smoke Crack and Worship Satan' on recently, but he
 could just be a crossposter from a mac group.  We'll find out soonish.


Name:
 Cola
Cola? a real name?
 His account is 'Robert Riter'
Whats so special about him?
 He is promoting a 'Quake-killer' called Lifebane
Coo, is it for real?
 See Appendix C
Where is it?
 err, can't rememeber off the top of my head. Tis in Appendix C
Does it matter, this is a Quake group, dammit!
 Quite.
Do you think he secretly plays Doom every night before going to bed?
 He most probably mainlines it.
Where has he been recently?
 Hmmm, good question, actually... Dead with any luck.


Name:
 Yark the Monkey / Ron Forlo
Known sayings:
 What about me dumb ass!
Is he a fuckwit?
 Yes, he makes his address look like it is from anon.penet.fi
Really, but what?
 He completely fucks it up, only changing the From: header.
Any other stupid things?
 Oh yes, he posted a 'Quake Beta' in 100ish line parts, up to 57/539
Hmm, didn't he write a FAQ also?
 YkhfEkhjSklsdWsdIhlhdTssdHjlsdLjkjdAjjkMkjdsEkljCklOklslkDjk;sfkdE;lsjlZsjk!


Name:
 The Bishop of Battle
History:
 Vehemently apposed the rmgrouping of alt.games.doom
Current status:
 Currently opposing the creation of rec.games.computer.quake
Why doesn't he want rgcq?
 Too restrictive apparently
Bit late now, isn't it?
 Well, if Quake is completely the wrong name, then the good Bishop will
 have the last laugh
What else does he do?
 He tries to organise mass Group-WADs as well as Quake killers
Any success?
 I think he'll do better than Cola.  Wait and See.


Name:
 Sean Keegan (No, not HIM! Arrrrrg)
Notable features:
 fuckwit
Why is he a fuckwit?
 He has anal sex with his mac playing marathon 2 every night.
So he is not welcome round here then?
 Uhhh, yeah, something like that
I haven't seen him recently
 Yes, good isn't it.  Couldn't stand the pace...
Looks like you spoke too soon
 Don't *fucking* remind me! Arrrrg!
Is this getting a bit farcical.
 Yes.
Anything considered to say to Sean Keegan?
 Please, Sean, read 'Emily Postnews'.  Do not post off-topic posts to any
 newsgroup.  Macs vs XXXX is ***NOT*** on topic in a.g.q.  Please Leave.
So there?
 So there!.


Others:
Other frequent posters which deserve a mention, but I haven't analysed
all their little nuances, quirks and fetishes yet:

Gala, Dave Glue, Sean Werkama, Luke Duff, David Brophy, Ryan Drake,
Steven Thurgood.  Umm, I'm sure there are more/less...

* APPENDIX A (Section 2) * The Venerable FAQ-Meister *****************

'Know Thyself'

**********************************************************************

{  Disclaimer!  This was written by Kyle "WaReZ" Hofmann, and no
   responsibility towards facts is assumed in this section.  :)      }

Name:
 Tom Wheeley
What did _he_ do?
 Maintain this FAQ.
But that's a good thing, isn't it?
 It would be, but he doesn't like my BUAFs and he lies about me.
What's a BUAF?
 A BUAF is a Big Ugly ASCII Font.   
So you admit your fonts are big and ugly?
 Yup, like the other possibilities he's considered for the FAQ.
What about the lies?
 He says I sent him Wolf3D because I was being nasty.
But didn't you send him Wolf3D?
 Yes, but only because he said, "Send me Wolf3D.  (And I mean it, too!)"
 {{AHEM!  Ever heard of s - a - r - c - a - s - m ?}}
So you were just doing what he wanted you to do?
 Yes, and then he sent me the Linux source and lied about me in the FAQ.
Boy, he sounds like he's a really nasty person.  Should I trust him?
 Nope.
Thanks for the advice.
 You're welcome.  You owe me $5.00 for the first minute, $2.50 for 
 each additional minute you spent reading this.
Hey!  You're nasty too!
 This is costing you more, you know...
<grumble grumble>  Fine, bye.  I still say you're nasty.
 And proud of it!  :)

The miserable irc-bot known as Kyle Hofmann can be found elsewhere in
this FAQ.
**********************************************************************
           (* I am working on expanding this entire FAQ *)
**********************************************************************
Thankyou from reading the alt.games.quake FAQ.   to...@tsys.demon.co.uk