🚀 go-pugleaf

DREAM TOURNAMENT IV:  HOW DO I VOTE?

WHERE DO I GET DREAM TOURNAMENT POSTS?
--------------------------------------
All installments of the Dream Tournament will be available at the following
resources:

1) posted as they come out in the alt.games.sf2, alt.games.mk,
rec.games.video.arcade, rec.games.video.sony, and the rec.games.video.sega
newsgroups.2) ftp to brawl.ecom.net -->  /pub/dream-tournament/IV/3) go to
http://dt4.ecom.net (Best choice)

(Note: *.ecom.net no longer exists).

HOW DO YOU DETERMINE WHO WINS?
------------------------------
The winner is determined by a simple majority vote.  Any "DRAW" or "DKO"
(Double Knockout) votes act to lower the margin of victory.

HOWEVER:

Before, in the Dream Tournaments, *any* draw or DKO vote acted to raise the
margin between competitors, and thus led to a *lot* of draw and DKO votes.
This, my friends, is unacceptable. Thus, I've tweaked the hell out of the
rule.

Therefore, the draw and DKO votes will be counted separately now.  For
example:

Ryu gets 4 votes. Ryo Sakazaki gets 2 votes. There is one draw vote and one
DKO vote.  Under the old rule, the two draw/DKO votes close the margin of
victory.  Under the new rule, neither rule has the numbers to close the
margin by itself, so Ryu wins this match.

Any "ties" (like five draw and five DKO votes in a match that ends in one of
them) will result in a draw. Double knockouts should be rare; after all, how
often have you gotten them? Draws are slightly more common, but they're
still the hen's teeth of the fighting world.

This'll make more sense once it's implemented, I swear. Hopefully, this'll
mean less draws/DKOs.

HOW DO I VOTE?
--------------

Go to http://dt4.ecom.net/ballot.htm and fill out the form you find there.

E-MAIL VOTES TO HUNTER, EMERALD, OR WANDERER WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED OR
COUNTED!

HOW DO I JOIN THE MAILING LIST?
-------------------------------
Until it is set up automatically, e-mail either hun...@ecom.net,
wand...@ecom.net, or eme...@linguist.dartmouth.edu and ask to be put on.

And now, on with the show!

***"Welcome, all, to the reopening of Dream Tournament IV!" Wanderer said
from his space in the announcers' booth. "My name is Thomas Wilde, better
known as Wanderer, and I'll be providing play-by-play during these seven
matches, with technical support given by Hunter!"

"Um...hi..." Hunter said into his mike. He was busy fooling with something
mechanical.

"Covering the matches from ringside will be official Crazy Bast-" Hunter
poked him, "-I mean, Man On The Floor Kevin 'Emerald' Kanda!" Wanderer
continued.

"Thank you, Wanderer. This is Emerald, down at the ringside watching our
competitors go through their pre-fight workouts. You can see how dedicated
these warriors are, folks; this first day is going to be one hell of an
event. Tensions are running high here, and judging from our first fight, I
have only one thing to say: I have no earplugs, no aspirin, and I'm not
getting paid *near* enough for this."

"Thank you, Emerald," Wanderer said. "Fourteen fighters, against all odds,
have survived through the first three rounds, and the fighting today is
expected to be intense. Our first match, though, is perhaps the most heavily
anticipated of them all."

>From the locker rooms, a series of wolf-whistles began, rising like a wave
throughout the DreamArena until it seemed that a flight of birds had
entered. Quietly, Wanderer turned up a dial on the board before him, cueing
up a certain theme song.

~o/ Come along but I don't know where you're taking me/I shouldn't go but
you're wrenching dragging shaking me/turn off the sun pull the stars from
the sky/the more I give to you the more I die...\o~

Trent Reznor's voice heralded the arrival of the last Darkstalker in the
tournament, who flew in through the doors a moment later. Her "wings" spread
wide, the force of her presence causing nosebleeds as far as the seventieth
row, Morrigan entered with a vengeance.

"Yes, folks, Morrigan Arnsland is back after a few months off, ready to get
back into action! She's the only competitor from Darkstalkers left in this
tournament, and she's got a tough fight ahead of her, in the form of the
'Legend,' of Samurai Shodown fame, Haohmaru! Let's see what happens!"

MATCH 1: HAOHMARU (SS3) vs. MORRIGAN ARNSLAND (DS2)

Morrigan floated majestically down to the ring, watching Haohmaru meditate
calmly on the other side of the platform. She simply began stretching
without a word (and, disappointingly from a ratings viewpoint, without the
slightest bit of 'cheesecake'), knowing from experience the ronin's
(legendary, no doubt) willpower; she would not be able to tempt her way out
of this match.

She assumed her stance, and waited. Before long, Haohmaru leaped to his
feet, his sword swinging around him in great circles, slicing up the two
stone lanterns that someone had placed to either side of him. He had
reached...

"ENLIGHTENMENT!" Sake flew along the length of his blade. "THERE WAS NO REAL
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EITHER OF THE ACTORS WHO PLAYED CHRIS ON 'THE PARTRIDGE
FAMILY,' SINCE THE WHOLE SHOW WAS GARBAGE!" He seemed, at this point, to
notice Morrigan. "HA! I BID YOU GREETINGS TO THE LOCATION OF YOUR DEATH,
DEMONESS! ALTHOUGH IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I HAVE FOUGHT ON THE FIELD
OF BATTLE HERE AT THE LEGENDARY (ALBEIT NOT QUITE SO MUCH SO AS MYSELF)
DREAM TOURNAMENT, I HAVE TRAINED HARD IN MY TIME OFF, USUALLY BY CHALLENGING
AMAKUSA TO A DUEL (WHICH I ALWAYS WIN OF COURSE, SINCE NO LOATHSOME WIZARD
SUCH AS HIM IS CAPABLE OF DEFEATING A LEGEND SUCH AS MYSELF, NO MATTER HOW
MUCH HE TELEPORTS AROUND)--" a few platforms away, Amakusa's indignant yell
was drowned out by Haohmaru continuing, "-AND AS THAT HAS GOTTEN TO BE
LITTLE SPORT FOR A LEGEND SUCH AS MYSELF,  I HAVE LOOKED FORWARD TO GREATER
OPPONENTS BEING PLACED BEFORE ME ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE, SUCH AS YOURSELF! I
HAVE TAKEN ACCOUNT OF YOUR PERFORMANCE HERE IN THE PAST, AND I ASSURE YOU
THAT THIS WILL BE A FIGHT LIKE NONE YOU HAVE EVER LOST BEFORE! AFTER ALL, I
AM THE LEGENDARY HAOHMARU, AND I HAVE NEVER LOST A DUEL (SAVE FOR THE
OCCASIONAL EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCE) SINCE I WAS TWELVE YEARS OLD! IF YOU
HAVE ANY KIN YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO PASS YOUR FINAL WORDS ON TO, SUCH AS YOUR
SISTER--"

"DON'T. MENTION. MY. SISTER." Morrigan was now positively seething.

"--I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO DO SO, FOR THAT IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF MY
LEGENDARY GENEROSITY AND MANNERS! NOW, FOR ALL OF MY FANS WATCHING ME FIGHT,
WHETHER HERE OR AT HOME, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT NONE OF MY LEGENDARY
FIGHTING STYLE SHOULD BE TRIED AT HOME WITHOUT TEN TO TWENTY YEARS UNDER THE
TUTELAGE OF A GOOD SENSEI, SUCH AS MY OWN LEGENDARY MASTER CAFFEINE
NICOTINE! I CAN SEE WHY ONE WOULD WANT TO EMULATE THE FIGHTING STYLE OF THE
LEGENDARY HAOHMARU, FOR I AM, AFTER ALL, THE MIGHTIEST FIGHTER WHO EVER
LIVED, BUT--"

Haohmaru continued to prevaricate. Meanwhile, over on the next booth, King
was stretching, sipping her pre-fight drink, when a shadow loomed up from
behind her. Suddenly, a net was flung over her head. She struggled in vain
as she was trussed up like a turkey and flung over the side of  the ring.

Genjuro, letting go of King, smiled in satisfaction. While he was prohibited
from actually *fighting* outside the ring, nothing prevented him from tying
up another fighter and rendering her unable to compete. The small problem of
his opponent for this round taken care of, he drew in an enormous breath and
screamed "H A O H M A R U !!!"

"--FOR THAT WAS THE WAY I WAS WHEN I WAS TWELVE, THE LEGEND'S WAY, THE
WARRIOR'S WAY, THE EISENHOWER EXPRESSWAY--OH. HM. WHAT DO YOU WANT,
GENJURO?"

Genjuro began to tremble. "I will not wait another moment! You die *now*,
honorless dog!"

Up in the booth, Wanderer and Hunter looked at Genjuro, looked at each
other, and, in perfect unison, said: "Uh-oh."

"IF YOU WOULD JUST WAIT A FEW MORE MINUTES, GENJURO, I HAVE TO DEAL WITH
THIS DEMONESS FIRST, AS HAS BEEN MANDATED BY THE HONORABLE TOURNAMENT
MASTERS, AND SEND HER SCREAMING BACK TO THE NETHERWORLD OF JIGOKU WHENCE SHE
CAME!"

"HEY!" Morrigan protested. "I'm not from there! I'm from *Scotland*! Cold,
yes, but hardly hell!"

Haohmaru somehow managed to legendarily ignore her. "THEN, WHEN AND IF YOU
HAVE DEALT WITH YOUR OPPONENT, THE MIGHTY KING (WHOSE PROWESS IS SUNG AND
STORIED OF ACROSS THE LAND, YET EVEN IF A THOUSAND TIMES THE TALES WERE TOLD
OF HER, SHE WOULD ONLY BE A FRACTION OF THE LEGEND THAT I AM), WE MAY THEN
MEET ON THE FIELD OF COMBAT, WHERE YOU WILL LOSE AS YOU HAVE SO MANY TIMES
BEFORE TO MY LEGENDARY BLADE! TRULY, I WONDER WHY YOU ARE IN SUCH A HURRY TO
DO BATTLE WITH ME, FOR YOU MUST KNOW THAT YOU WILL FAIL TO DEFEAT ME (THAT
IS I, THE LEGENDARY HAOHMARU) AND THUS BE BLOCKED FROM CONTINUING FURTHER IN
THIS TOURNAMENT!"

Genjuro's vision was obscured by a haze of red. "I WILL NOT WAIT ANY
LONGER!"

"Tough cookies, handsome." Morrigan moved (slinked, actually) slowly between
Genjuro and Haohmaru. "I saw him first, and he doesn't go any further than
me. So why don't you run along and get ready for--"

*WHAM*

Her eyes rolled up in her head and Morrigan fell over, after being clocked
between the eyes by the pommel of Genjuro's sword.

Genjuro jumped up to the platform, kicking Morrigan's limp body off of it,
and took his place opposite Haohmaru.

"HA! YOU HAVE GREAT COURAGE, GENJURO, AND GREAT RESOURCEFULNESS, EVEN IF YOU
ARE USING IT FOR THE PURPOSE OF GETTING INTO AN UNWINNABLE FIGHT WITH A
LEGEND SUCH AS MYSELF (WHICH PLACES SOME DOUBT AS TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH)!"
*slurp* *ptui* Sake flew down the length of Haohmaru's blade. "I ALMOST
ADMIRE YOU FOR YOUR INABILITY TO ACCEPT YOUR SHEER LACK OF SKILL AS OPPOSED
TO MY LEGENDARY TALENT WITH A BLADE, BUT NOT REALLY--"

"SHUT UP!" Genjuro slashed out at Haohmaru, who easily parried.

"YOU ARE BOLD, GENJURO! HAVE AT YOU!" Haohmaru's blade flicked out with
every bit of the speed Genjuro's had, and met a similar fate against
Genjuro's sword. Sparks flew.

"Shut up, you loser!" Genjuro drew in a deep breath. "You are such a loser
that your very blade feels ashamed to be wielded by a loser such as yourself
and I will defeat you here on inter-universal pay-per-view and make you look
silly in front of billions and then you will be out of the tournament and I
will sheath my sword and leave it in my room and use your dead body as my
weapon and bludgeon my way to the tournament crown and even though Ukyo will
try and stop me he won't be able to because he is nearly as big of a loser
as yourself and sick to boot and I will be the champion and then I will cut
your head off and shove it down your throat and kick you in the crotch so
you cough your head back up and then I will attach a rope to your head and
attach the other end of the rope to a long pole and stick the pole in the
ground and play tetherball with your head and then I will go to Gairyu Isle
and get Oshizu and get her to play tetherball with me and although she will
not want to at first she will eventually come around because tetherball is
really fun-"

"*There's* the Genjuro I know!" Wanderer said with a smile. "I was afraid
that those diction classes he took between SS2 and 3 had dulled his edge."

"It would seem that they haven't," Hunter observed quietly.

"BE CAREFUL, GENJURO, FOR YOU RUN THE RISK OF AWAKENING MY LEGENDARY ANGER
(OF COURSE IT DOES NOT COME OUT VERY OFTEN BECAUSE TO GET ANGRY IS FOR
NON-LEGENDS) WHEN YOU TALK OF THE FAIR OSHIZU LIKE THAT IN CONJUNCTION WITH
YOURSELF, FOR SHE IS MY BELOVED AND BETHROTHED, AND AS SUCH SHE IS A LEGEND
BY ASSOCIATION WITH ME (FOR THE WOMAN WHO CAN TAME THE LEGENDARY WOMANIZING
OF THE LEGENDARY HAOHMARU IS A LEGENDARY WOMAN INDEED) AND IS FAR TOO GOOD
FOR THE LIKES OF YOU, AND IT WOULD NOT SURPRISE ME THAT IF YOU WERE TO COME
NEAR HER SHE WOULD SEIZE HER FRYING PAN AND BEAT YOU LIKE THE UNLEGENDARY
RED-HEADED STEPCHILD YOU ARE--"

Meanwhile, up in the booth, Wanderer and Hunter were having a discussion.
"So. What do we do about this?" Wanderer asked.

Hunter thought about it. "Do *you* want to go down there?"

"Nope."

"Me neither. I tried asking one of the brute squad, but even they're smart
enough not to go down there, and I've seen a brute try to fight an oncoming
thunderstorm. So I guess we have to rearrange the schedule."

"Sounds good to me." Wanderer turned to the commlink. "What do you think,
Emerald?"

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! THEY'RE YELLING TOO LOUD!"

"I think he approves."

Hunter smiled. "I agree."

MATCH 1: HAOHMARU (SS3) vs. GENJURO (SS3)

CLANG! WHOOSH! CLANG! WHAM!

"--and when we're done playing tetherball I will take Oshizu back to Gairyu
Isle and tell her to wait for me and she will because she'll already be in
love with me and will have forgotten you and I will come back here and pick
up my trophy and your body and I will take them back home and I will put the
trophy in my house and I will put your body in a display case and I will
tour Japan with it and say this is the 'Rolling Thunder Wussy Review' and
show everyone your dead body and say that you were a huge loser and they
will agree with me and I will make a lot of money because people will gladly
pay to see the decapitated corpse of the biggest loser in the world and I
will use it to pay people to dig a big hole and I will throw your body into
it and then I will buy a whole bunch of explosives from the same guy who
drops bombs on us during fights and then I will beat him up because I hate
that guy because he blows me up and I will use them to detonate the hole and
cave it in on your headless body and then I will dig your body out and slap
it around--"

"--AS A MATTER OF FACT I REMEMBER THAT TIME WHERE YOU LAY IN WAIT FOR ME IN
THE VEGETABLE GARDEN OUTSIDE OUR HOUSE AND SQUASHED OSHIZU'S MUSHROOMS WHICH
SHE WORKS SO HARD ON AND SHE CAME OUT OF THE HOUSE BEFORE I DID AND SAW YOU
CROUCHING IN WAIT AND CAME BACK INTO THE HOUSE AND GOT HER ROLLING PIN AND
CHASED YOU AWAY WITH IT (INDEED, SHE IS A LEGENDARY WOMAN, BUT NONE OTHER IS
SUITABLE FOR ME, THAT IS I, THE LEGENDARY HAOHMARU), AND I DIDN'T HEAR THAT
YOU HAD BEEN AROUND UNTIL ABOUT TWO WEEKS LATER WHEN SHE TRIED TO MAKE
SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS FOR DINNER (HM, THAT REMINDS ME, I'M HUNGRY, I MUST SEE
WHAT'S AVAILABLE IN THE COMMISSARY AFTER I'M DONE DEFEATING YOU IN THE QUICK
AND PAINFUL MANNER YOU DESERVE)--"

MATCH 2: MORRIGAN (DS2) vs. KING (KOF95)

"I wouldn't want to be Emerald right now," Hunter mused.

"You realize, of course, you are a cruel, cruel man," Wanderer started,
"making him be the one to wake up Morrigan.  You know she'll kill the first
person she sees."

"Oh, I have faith in the big guy.  After all, he did want to be the one to
get up close and personal with the fighters."

Down below, King stood calmly on the platform, sipping a martini while
waving to the fans.

"Hey Emerald, is this match going to start or should I enjoy the bye?" the
bouncer asked, "And why are you moving her like that?"

"King, the match will go on, and believe me, I have a great deal of respect
for you and your fighting capabilities.  And that's why I feel you'll be
able to handle this better than I can."

"Handle what?" King asked quizzically.

"This."  Emerald opened a small bottle of smelling salts, dropped it right
under Morrigan's nose, and catapulted himself off the platform.

Morrigan popped up, eyes flaring writh anger. "YOU DIRTY SON OF A MOTHERLESS
GOAT!  BY THE TIME I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I WILL SHOW YOU SUCH A LEGENDARY
BEATING THAT YOUR *SWORD* WILL BE CRYING OUT IN PAIN (AND BEING SUCH AN
EXPERT WITH WHIPS AND CHAINS, I KNOW FROM WHENCE I SPEAK)!"

"Hey there, cute thing..." King slyly whispered.

"Huh?" Emerald said as he popped his head up.

"What?" Hunter asked in disbelief.

"Hey!" Wanderer stated as he pulled out his Watermelon Cannon (tm, now
fitted for pumpkin ammunition to celebrate Halloween) and aimed it at
Hunter.

Morrigan's rage almost imploded as the boldness of King's statement just hit
her.

"Why worry yourself over a silly man? After all, you still have me here,
ready and able," King coyly continued.

Morrigan still didn't know what to make of things as the bell rang.

MATCH 3: TERRY BOGARD (KOF95) vs. GALFORD (SS3)

Galford came out to the roars of the crowd, his dog frisking along by his
side, spinning his sword between his fingers, electricity sparking behind
him as he went. As he had requested, there were twelve straw dummies set up
for him on the fighting platform.

>From the ground, he did a double backflip up to the fighting platform,
landing between the first two dummies, and executed a devastating
figure-eight slash with his blade, cutting both dummies in two. Before they
fell, he spun around and incinerated both of them with Plasma Blades.

Disappearing in a flash of smoke, Galford spun down from the sky and
shredded a dummy into confetti. As he regained his feet, he pointed and
yelled "Go, Poppy!" The faithful wolfhound ran up the stairs and savaged the
hell out of the remaining dummy on that side, tearing out its "throat"
before rolling back to Galford's side.

The boy and his dog, working as a team, incinerated, slashed, bit,
piledrove, and beat every remaining dummy into ash and dust, weaving in and
out of the dummies' ranks in a dance of destruction. Electricity arced
constantly, and the sheer majesty of the resultant light show had the
audience on the edge of its collective seat. Finally, only one dummy
remained.

Galford came to rest before it, and smiled. (*ting!*)

He disappeared.

The dummy somehow managed to look scared.

Two Galfords came down from the sky, on either side of the dummy, and the
world turned into a flashing barrage of red and white behind him as he
unleashed every slash he knew upon the dummy, followed by a crackling blast
of electricity, and then leapt into the air with it clutched between his
selves.

"DOUBLE STRIKE HEADS!" he screamed, bringing the dummy down on its noggin.
The already-abused dummy gave up the ghost and disintegrated, its ashes and
straw swept up by the DreamArena's janitorial droids. Acknowledging the
audience's roars, Galford sheathed his sword, bowed, and awaited the arrival
of his opponent in the ring.

About a minute later, it came, as Terry Bogard, in freshly pressed jeans,
came jogging out thunderous applause of his own. Running up the stairs, he
came to stand opposite Galford, adjusted his cap, and assumed his fighting
stance.

Galford looked shocked. "That's it?"

"What did you want me to do? Show off?" Terry was taken aback.

"So I guess," Wanderer noted, "this is a match between style and substance."

"Style," Hunter said.

"Substance!" Wanderer protested.

"Style," Hunter maintained.

"Substance!" Wanderer objected.

MATCH 4: UKYO TACHIBANA (SS3) vs. KIM KAPHWAN (KOF95)

"Look, Sigfried!" squealed Sophitia.  "Kim is helping Ukyo up the aisle!
He's so strong and so kind and he's on the side of right and justice and
he's sooo perfect for me-- do you think he'd..."

"He's married," grumbled the German, who was always fielding this sort of
question from the Greek goody-two-shoes.

"Oh, fiddlesticks," sighed Sophitia.  "Well, what about Ukyo?  He's soooo
gorgeous, and really really sweet, and I could help him around and cook
bread for him and give him his medication and..."

"Taken," grumbled Siggy, and he continued after a pause, "why do I put up
with your incessant slavering over every man you see?"

Sophitia turned to him and it seemed that a ray of light had descended out
of heaven to shine upon her face.  Her big blue eyes fluttered at Siggy.
"Because you looooooove me and you want me for your own, I guess," she
giggled.

Sigfried positively DETESTED it when she was right.  As she began commenting
on Kim's perfect butt, he quietly excused himself to go bang his head
repeatedly against the nearest convenient concrete wall.

Down on the mat, Ukyo and Kim sized each other up and bowed.  It would be a
polite, but extremely deadly match.

MATCH 5: MAI SHIRANUI (KOF95) vs. HANZO HATTORI (SS3)

As Hanzo appeared in a puff of smoke, Mai bowed to him. "Good afternoon!"

Hanzo nodded in her direction, and said nothing.

Mai was clearly excited. "I've been looking forward to this. After all,
you're the best ninja around, and I've always wanted to test my skills
against the best."

"Because you're a ninja, correct?" Hanzo said quietly.

"Yup!" Mai smiled and bounced a little, causing a great deal of varied male
reaction throughout the DreamArena (and a boycott of the products which
advertise during the Dream Tournament by the American Family Association).

"Wrong."

Mai's smile vanished. "What?"

"To be a ninja is to live in shadow and deal in stealth. Ninjas are not
known to any, but their deeds are felt by all. A ninja with a reputation is
dead or a legend," if Haohmaru hadn't been too busy to hear that, Hanzo
would never have said it, "whispered of in hushed and frightened tones by
the weak and fearful; their face is never seen and their voice is never
heard. You speak of your style to all who will listen, are known by name to
half the world, and dress in a manner that is assured-" Hanzo cleared his
throat, "-to get you attention."

Mai started to get upset. "Hey! I have a perfect right to dress how I want,
you fossil!"

"To say nothing of your lifestyle."

"Oh, this ought to be good."

"You have this 'fiance' of yours, for one thing, who you're obviously so in
love with, and your friends, and some degree of happiness in your life. You
have not lost anyone you care for recently. It has been this way for quite
some time."

"Yeah, so?"

"To be a ninja is to never know happiness save in brief spans of time. I
knew the greatest joy of my life when my son was born, but then my wife was
killed and my son taken to serve the twisted plans of Amakusa. Since then,
my life has been nothing but constant war, serving no one, existing only for
revenge against the wizard who ruined my life." Hanzo's tone was
matter-of-fact, as if he was discussing the weather. "That is how a ninja's
life is. Hence, you are not a ninja. You are a martial artist in a revealing
dress. Galford is closer to being a ninja than you are, and that is saying a
lot."

Mai drew a fan slowly out from her belt. "Listen to me, you ancient
depressing freak-" The bell rang to start the fight, and Mai charged.

MATCH 6: VERMILION (BAT2) vs. KUBIKIRI BASARA (SS3)

*click* *clack* *ka-CHAK*

Vermilion's guns were loaded and ready. He'd had a run of bad luck, but at
least he was still in the tournament, unlike the rest of his node. This
time, though, he wasn't even facing a boss character. This would be almost
childishly easy.

However...

"He's doing it again. Good gods." Wanderer turned to Hunter. "Use the
computer and tell us where Basara is, would you? If he's not here in the
next--"

Basara appeared out of a portal of darkness, jumping up and landing just in
front of Vermilion.

"--two seconds...okay, never mind." Wanderer was bemused.

"I can't believe you didn't see that coming."

"Neither can I."

Basara laughed hysterically. "Do you think your little guns will help you
against me? I am the walking dead!"

Vermilion's face bore the same strange half-smile it always did. "You have
that right, my friend." He slid the bolt home on his derringer. "Unlike my
other opponents, though, you have the courage to admit it." He trained his
shotgun on Basara's head. "Come get some."

MATCH 7: OMEGA RUGAL (KOF95) vs. AMAKUSA (SS3)

"Kuroko looks...  different."  Wanderer had just confirmed with the
black-clad officiator that everything was all set for the next, potentially
explosive match, but there had been something different about his image on
the viewscreen, something rather...  nonfluid about him.

"Oh, that?"  Hunter looked up from his tinkering with the arena security
computer, which, had it been done with anything less than his trademark
Tai-Chi-esque mellowness, could be described as frantic.  At least, the
unvoiced string of obscenities which he was attempting to send to the
computer telepathically was quite frantic.  "Emerald and I came up with
that-- we figured having Cyber-Kuroko call this one would be a good idea."

"Cyber-Kuroko?!?"

"Wasn't too hard.  He just looks a bit..."

"Shinier," finished Wanderer.  "That's what it was."

"Yep!  Instead of his usual garb, he's in a full suit of powered armor that
looks just like his regulars."  A look of satisfaction crossed Hunter's
face, but quickly left when it reached the other side.  He finished entering
a few more parameters, and the display in front of him lit up. The look of
satisfaction was just about to come back when the screen went totally blank,
and though his expression didn't change, Wanderer could have sworn he'd
heard a whimper.

The screen in front of Wanderer flashed a picture of Emerald, who seemed
less cheerful than before.  "I am NOT looking forward to this, guys.  Even
on the other side of the forcefield, this is going to be uglier than the
slogans at a Trobriand Cricket Match.  Uh, speaking of which, there IS going
to be a forcefield, right?"

Back up in the booth, Wanderer clicked off the mike for a moment, looking
extremely confused.  "Cricket?  What's he talking about?"

Preoccupied with his task at hand, Hunter just shrugged, and muttered "He's
an anthro major... he loves making obscure references...  you do the math."
He kicked the console he was working on, and it pinged and lit up.  "Ah,
there we go."

The center of the DreamArena was briefly enveloped in a hemisphere of faint
bluish light.  Hunter sighed.  "All set."  He flicked the forcefield off to
allow entry to the two heavy hitters, and silently chanted at the blasted
thing to PLEASE come on again when asked.

Cyber-Kuroko was first on the field; his K.O.R.O.K.O. armor glinted softly
under the arena lights.

A helicopter somehow came down out of the rafters and deposited a
tuxedo-clad Rugal on the mat; seconds later, Amakusa's form blurred into
view.

"Rugal...  There is something the Orochi never told you about your
great-great-great grandfather."  Amakusa had, if possible, an even more
devilish look than usual in his eyes.

Rugal glared at the Heavenly Child of Shimabara.  "They told me enough, dark
wizard.  They told me that you seduced and destroyed him."  He coughed.
"Now the murdered I could take, but seduced?  That's getting a bit out
there.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, but..."

"I DIDN'T SEDUCE HIM, I *AM* YOUR GREAT-GREAT-GREAT GRANDFATHER!!!  I KEEP
TELLING PEOPLE, I'M NOT FEMALE, AND I'M PERFECTLY COMFORTABLE WITH THE
IRONIC JUXTAPOSITION OF THE WAY I DRESS AND WEAR MAKEUP AND THE FACT THAT
I'M A HETEROSEXUAL MALE (not that there's anything wrong with the other
options, mind you), SO KNOCK IT OFF!"  Amakusa composed himself.  "Anyway,
whelp, you know what that means, don't you?  If you kill me, you will create
a timestream eddy that will wipe you out of existence. Hahahahahaha!!!  You
might as well surrender now."  With that, Amakusa pulled his dark sorcerer's
crystal out of a dimensional warp and smiled. "Now, we can do this the easy
way, or..."

"One question," said Rugal.  "Have you fathered any children?"

"Why, the tales of my bedroom prowess are sung from Hokkaido to Okinawa! I'm
sure I have dozens, at lea--  Damn.  I see what you mean.  Oh well, shall we
just kill each other and the winner goes on to rule this silly little
multiverse?"

"Sounds fine with me," said Rugal, as his mechanical hand shredded his
jacket and shirt into nothingness.

"This," Wanderer said, for the sake of the viewing audience, "is where it
gets a little nuts."