🚀 go-pugleaf

In article <1990Apr23....@ucselx.sdsu.edu> a...@ucselx.sdsu.edu (young a t) writes:
>I first met HCF in a list of "Proposed System/360 Instructions" about 1969
>or '70, posted on a wall near a computer at JPL.  The list follows:
>	[ list deleted ]

Then there was the very useful mnemonic:

	BBF	Branch on Bitbucket Full


-- mon...@diablo.AMD.COM --- {uunet, cs.utexas.edu!ames}!amdcad!diablo!monson --
Being precocious, I naturally age very fast as well. In fact, at only
twenty-five I was already young at heart.
			Peter De Vries (The Prick of Noon)

In article <1990Apr23....@ucselx.sdsu.edu>, a...@ucselx.sdsu.edu (young a t) writes:
> Recently an item was posted mentioning some legendary op-codes, including
> HCF for "Halt and Catch Fire". 

I found the following list of more op-codes in my files.

			NEWEST DEC OPCODES

BBI	Branch on Burned-out Indicator
BPO	Branch on power off
RPB	Reverse Parity & Branch
RWT	Read/Write While Stretching Tape
SRZ	Subtract & Reset to Zero
SSW	Scramble Status Word
RCS	Read Card & Scramble Data
SSD	Stacker Select Disk
RCR	Rewind Card Reader
EJD	Eject Disk		[note that this was before floppies which
				were ejected under software control]
BSD	Backspace Disk
EIO	Execute Invalid Opcode
EXO	Execute Operator
ECP	Erase Card Punch
RNR	Read Noise Record
DMP	Destroy Memory Protect Key
MLR	Move and Lose Record
DIA	Develop Ineffective Address
SCP	Scatter Printer
PBC	Print and Break Chain
JLP	Jump and Lose Pointer
RDI	Rewind Disk Immediate
BRL	Branch and Leak
SWT	Select Wrong Terminal
EXP	Exeucte Programmer
DIH	Disable Interrupts & Hang
VMA	Violate Maintenance Agreement
DFA	Disable Fans
EAL	Enable AC to Logic Rack
EAO	Enable AC to Operator
DIG	Disable Gravity
ESP	Enable Sprinkler System
AAR	Alter at Random
CMD	Compare Meaningless Data
ENF	Emix Noxious Fumes
ISC	Insert Sarcastic Comments
PEHC	Punch Extra Holes in Cards
WNAM	We Need a Miracle
BRH	Branch and Hang
ING	Inquire & Ignore
DOV	Divide & Overflow
PIC	Print Invalid Character
SSJ	Select Stacker & Jam
FSR	Form Skip & Runaway
WWR	Write Wrong Record
RWD	Rewind Disk
PCD	Punch Disk
FCJ	Feed Card & Jam
RTP	Reduce Throughput
RST	Rewind & Stretch Tape
UCB	Uncouple Comm lines & Branch
BRO	Branch & Overheat
DIF	Disable Fuses
MMF	Melt Mainframe
LUM	Lubricate Memory
LTS	Loop Til Smokes
AIB	Attach Innocent Bystandards
DDC	Dally During Calculations
FLI	Flash Lights Impressively
LAP	Laugh at Programmer
SAI	Skip All Instructions
RPM	Read Programmer's Mind
-- 
Jeremy Epstein
TRW Systems Division
703-876-8776
j...@virtech.uu.net

In article <1990Apr24.175633.22905@virtech.uucp> jje@virtech.uucp (Jeremy J. Epstein) writes:
>
>			NEWEST DEC OPCODES
>
>BPO	Branch on power off

Dan Scott used to have a PWF (=Power Off) macro for FAP on the 704.
It generated the instructions:

	Write Tapes Simultaneously
	Select Tape Unit 1
	Select Tape Unit 2
	Select Tape Unit 3
	Select Tape Unit 4
		.
		.
		.

About the 4th "select" would overload the system & blow the main circuit
breaker.

>RCR	Rewind Card Reader

This was another Dan Scott macro for the 704.  The REW instruction had
an address field that was supposed to be a tape unit; but you could put
the address of the card reader there if you wanted to....

--

A.T.Young, Astronomy Department, San Diego State University, San Diego CA 92182

	a...@UCSELX.SDSU.EDU	from BITNET

In article <1990Apr24....@ucselx.sdsu.edu> a...@ucselx.sdsu.edu (young a t) writes:
>In article <1990Apr24.175633.22905@virtech.uucp> jje@virtech.uucp (Jeremy J. Epstein) writes:
>>RCR	Rewind Card Reader
>
>This was another Dan Scott macro for the 704.  The REW instruction had
>an address field that was supposed to be a tape unit; but you could put
>the address of the card reader there if you wanted to....

Once upon a time in my rather checkered career, I actually had to *write* such
a thing.  It seems we had this wretched old FORTRAN 66 compiler that didn't
know anything about internal reads (of the form

	CHARACTER*80	FOO

	...

	READ ( UNIT = FOO, FMT = ... ) 

I was working on a card based system where we had to sniff a control field in
a card to determine what type it was and then process the card appropriately.
The formats for the different types, of course, were not even close to being
similar.

I ended up writing a subroutine called REREAD in 370 Assembler (yes, I admit
to having once programmed in IBM Assembler) that went in, munged the DCB or
some such control block, and convinced FORTRAN that it had read a card when it
really hadn't.

Beyond the bizarre...

							spl (the p stands for
							PSW)

--
Steve Lamont, sciViGuy	(919) 248-1120		EMail:	s...@ncsc.org
NCSC (The other one), Box 12732, Research Triangle Park, NC 27709
Don't send in no bums.  I want deals.
				-John Steinbeck, _The Grapes of Wrath_

In article <20...@speedy.mcnc.org> s...@duck.ncsc.org (Steve Lamont) writes:
>In article <1990Apr24....@ucselx.sdsu.edu> a...@ucselx.sdsu.edu (young a t) writes:
>>In article <1990Apr24.175633.22905@virtech.uucp> jje@virtech.uucp (Jeremy J. Epstein) writes:
>>>RCR	Rewind Card Reader
>>
(lines omitted...)
>
>Once upon a time in my rather checkered career, I actually had to *write* such
>a thing.  It seems we had this wretched old FORTRAN 66 compiler that didn't
>know anything about internal reads (of the form
>
>	CHARACTER*80	FOO
>
>	...
>
>	READ ( UNIT = FOO, FMT = ... ) 
>
>I was working on a card based system where we had to sniff a control field in
>a card to determine what type it was and then process the card appropriately.
>The formats for the different types, of course, were not even close to being
>similar.
>
>I ended up writing a subroutine called REREAD in 370 Assembler (yes, I admit
>to having once programmed in IBM Assembler) that went in, munged the DCB or
>some such control block, and convinced FORTRAN that it had read a card when it
>really hadn't.
>
>Beyond the bizarre...
>

Dan Scott also wrote some versions called REREAD for the 704.  An early
version traced its calling sequence back into the calling program, then
searched forward for the next reference to the "read card" call, which
it overwrote with NOPs.  The next call to IOH or whatever it was that
converted from external to internal formats then re-read the stale input
buffer.

Further beyond the bizarre?

--

A.T.Young, Astronomy Department, San Diego State University, San Diego CA 92182

	a...@UCSELX.SDSU.EDU	from BITNET

On a BBC Micro the command

>REPEAT: MOTOR ON: MOTOR OFF: UNTIL FALSE

will blow the relay that controls the cassette motor.   It goes sort of
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzt! and stops.   I've never done it, I've just been told.
-- 
\/ o\ Paul Crowley aipdc@uk.ac.ed.castle                       :-| Have a day
/\__/ "The whole is the sum of its parts, plus one or more bugs" aimsm@castle

Where I worked long, long ago, we had a PDP-7 running PDP-9 Fortran.  And
of course we needed REREAD.  If I remember correctly, we simply added an
extra device, an in-core card image.  You could read the card (or tape)
unformatted, and write the card image into the core device.  Then you could
read the core device as often as need be in whatever manner required until
you got it right, because it would always give you the same "card".  Very
handy because we were getting data from all over the world, and you never
really knew beforehand what "standard" (hah!) had been used in writing the
data on tapes and card decks.  So much for "Rewind Card Reader".

We never implemented LDE ("Launch Disk Element") because we never had
a disk.  We seriously considered something like XFS (Execute Field
Service) because one of the FS reps always did a CM when he came to do
a scheduled PM.  (C=Causitive).  One time it took three weeks to get
the machine working again after he did a PM.

Here's a few more op codes I think were overlooked:

  IPI     Interchange PC with Instruction Register
  CCK     Cache check
  CCR     Read the one's complement of the card in the reader
  ISI     Invent stupid instruction at random
  SBG     Skip over bug

In article <1990Apr23....@ucselx.sdsu.edu> a...@ucselx.sdsu.edu (young a t) writes:
> [...]
>I first met HCF in a list of "Proposed System/360 Instructions" about 1969
>or '70, posted on a wall near a computer at JPL.  The list follows:
>
> [list deleted]
I didn't see my favorite:
	RPC Randomize Program Counter
I have been able to emulate this on any processor I worked on.  :-)

-- 
D'Arcy J.M. Cain (darcy@druid)     |   Government:
D'Arcy Cain Consulting             |   Organized crime with an attitude
West Hill, Ontario, Canada         |
(416) 281-6094                     |

A version of the hacker purity test includes the question

Have you ever "walked" a drive?

I guess this means acessing a file in such a way that r/w head motions 
cause the drive enclosure to wobble a bit, but I'm really not sure.
Anyone know ?
			-David
 

dar...@cec1.wustl.edu (David A. Rochberg) writes:

>Have you ever "walked" a drive?

>I guess this means acessing a file in such a way that r/w head motions 
>cause the drive enclosure to wobble a bit, but I'm really not sure.
>Anyone know ?

We had model 6603 disks on our CDC computer at the University of Arizona
back around 1970.  The drive was actually made by a company called Bryant,
and was larger than a home freezer chest. It weighed close to 1000 pounds,
I think.  Then there were the separate cabinets for the hydraulic pumps &
cooling blower.

There were about 16 disks in the cabinet, each about 5 feet in diameter. 
The disk spindle spun at 900 RPM.  The heads were mounted on a series of
large (2 or 3 foot long) arms, which were moved (in parallel) by a hydraulic
valve.  The average access time was about 250 milliseconds, but the
transfer rate was very fast for the day...about a megabyte/second.  It
wrote & read 12 heads in parallel.  The drive capacity was about 70
million 12 bit words.  If I remember right, it cost about $300,000.

Anyway, the disk positioner was heavy enough to have significant momentum. 
The disk cabinet would definitely walk accross the floor during heavy
disk activity if it wasn't anchored properly.  I remember one of its
supporting legs got bent when it ran into a ventilation register in the
floor.  I don't remember anyone ever writing a program specifically
designed to "walk" the drive.

The drive also tended to leak hydraulic fluid...it would leave little
yellow puddles.  One time, during maintenance, a hose was left loose
& 5 gallons of hydraulic fluid got dumped under the false floor.  We
didn't know about it until someone in the basement complained about
yellow fluid dripping on his desk.

The disk platters made great coffee tables after a head crash.

They don't make 'em like that any more, thank goodness!

Steve Jay
s...@ultra.com  ...ames!ultra!shj
Ultra Network Technologies / 101 Dagget Drive / San Jose, CA 95134 / USA
(408) 922-0100 x130	"Home of the 1 Gigabit/Second network"

In article <1990Apr25....@cec1.wustl.edu> dar8808@cec2.UUCP (David A. Rochberg) writes:
>A version of the hacker purity test includes the question
>
>Have you ever "walked" a drive?
>
>I guess this means acessing a file in such a way that r/w head motions 
>cause the drive enclosure to wobble a bit, but I'm really not sure.
>Anyone know ?
>			-David
> 



The easiest way to get a drive to walk is to seek from one edge of the platter
to the other.  This can get the drive rocking back and forth in rhythm to the
seeking, and eventually it'll start walking.  If you get it right, it'll walk
AWAY from where it's plugged in, and thus eventually unplug itself.

		-- Kevin --

e: Walking Drives.. Exactly.. Its incredibly nifty, cause they 
walk in a random direction.. The bigger the drive, the better...
DEC RP07 drives walk very well.. so do IBM disk pack drives..
infact, if you load a PDP11 chassis with drives and pull the roll-stops..
its easy to sync 3 or 6 of them and make it roll... :->

And i wonder why system managers hate me...

Techs

Well, here's one from my archive.  Curiously enough, despite its title,
it shares almost all the revised IBM instruction mnemonics...

Proposed Additions to the PDP-11 Instruction Set

BBW     Branch Both Ways
BEW     Branch Either Way
BH      Branch and Hang
BMR     Branch Multiple Registers
BOB     Branch On Bug
BOD     Beat On Drum       [Note: drums were mass-storage devices,
		                  although I don't recall a PDP-11 one]
BOI     Byte Operator Immediate
BPO     Branch on Power Off
BST     Backspace and Stretch Tape
CDS     Condense and Destroy System
CLBR    Clobber Register
CLBRI   Clobber Register Immediate
CM      Circulate Memory
CPPR    Crumple Printer Paper and Rip
CRN     Convert to Roman Numerals
DC      Divide and Conquer
DMNS    Do what I Mean, Not what I Say
DMPK    Destroy Memory Protect Key
DO      Divide and Overflow
EIOC    Execute Invalid Op-Code
EMPC    Emulate Pocket Calculator
EPI     Execute Programmer Immediate
EROS    Erase Read-Only Storage
EVTH    Emulate a VT on a Hazeltine
EXCE    Execute Customer Engineer
EXPP    Execute a Political Prisoner
FSRA    Forms Skip and Run Away
HCF     Halt and Catch Fire
IBP     Insert Bug and Proceed
IIP     Ignore Inquiry and Proceed
LCC     Load and Clear Core
MLR     Move and Lose Record
PBC     Print and Break Chain
PDSK    Punch Disk
PI      Punch Invalid
POPI    Punch Operator Immediate
PVLC    Punch Variable Length Card     [Ah, what a concept!]
RASC    Read And Shred Card
RIRG    Read Inter-Record Gap
RPM     Read Programmer's Mind
RSD     On Read Error Self Destruct
RSTOM   Read from Store-Only Memory
RWOC    Read Writing On Card
SPSW    Scramble Program Status Word
SRSD    Seek Record and Scar Disk
SRZ     Subtract and Reset to Zero
SSJ     Select Stacker and Jam
STROM   Store in Read-Only Memory
TDB     Transfer and Drop Bit
UER     Update and Erase Record
WBT     Water Binary Tree
WIRG    Write Inter-Record Gap

Now, for a real nostalgia bout, who recalls that marvellous NCR mass
storage system, the CRAM (Card Random Access Memory!)?  Yup, it was
real alright.

Robert_S
-- 
 Robert Stanley   UUCP: uunet!mitel!sce!cognos!roberts
 Cognos, Inc.     INET: roberts%c...@uunet.uu.net
 (Research)      Voice: (613) 738-1338 x6115 

In article <1990Apr25.145515.20866@druid.uucp> darcy@druid.UUCP (D'Arcy J.M. Cain) writes:
>In article <1990Apr23....@ucselx.sdsu.edu> a...@ucselx.sdsu.edu (young a t) writes:
>> [...]
>>I first met HCF in a list of "Proposed System/360 Instructions" about 1969
>>or '70, posted on a wall near a computer at JPL.  The list follows:
>>
>> [list deleted]
>I didn't see my favorite:
>	RPC Randomize Program Counter
>I have been able to emulate this on any processor I worked on.  :-)


	Reminds me of my favorite VAX instruction BrHQ: Branch to Hell
	with Quadword displacement.   You're right, it works well on
	the 8088 family and TMS9900, and, I've never had to type it :-)

	Darrin

mdchaney@iubacs
mdch...@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu
mdch...@rose.ucs.indiana.edu

In article <1990Apr25....@cec1.wustl.edu> dar8808@cec2.UUCP (David A. Rochberg) writes:
>A version of the hacker purity test includes the question
>
>Have you ever "walked" a drive?
>
>I guess this means acessing a file in such a way that r/w head motions 
>cause the drive enclosure to wobble a bit, but I'm really not sure.

Not just wobble, but actually move around the room.  Remember, these
were physically large drives that resembled washing machines.  I have
even heard about competitions among hackers to walk drives across the
machine room or move them closest to a dime on the floor.  It must have
really annoyed the first-shift operators :-}

/mike




\|/ Michael L. Ardai     ar...@bu-pub.bu.edu   
--- ---------------------------------------------------------------
/|\ ...!sun!teda!maven.dnet!ardai (preferred)

This thread was done a few months ago on this selfsame newsgroup, and the
following *really* long list was posted.  Here it is again:

----------------------------------------------
Article 298 of alt.folklore.computers:
Path: cunixf!cunixc!mit-amt!snorkelwacker!usc!rutgers!aramis.rutgers.edu!topaz.rutgers.edu!jjoshua
From: jjo...@topaz.rutgers.edu (Jon Joshua)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Those funny opcodes
Keywords: This belongs in wreck.humor but....
Message-ID: <Dec.12.02.47....@topaz.rutgers.edu>
Date: 12 Dec 89 07:47:08 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.
Lines: 1041



      MNEMONIC		          INSTRUCTION
     ----------                  -------------

			-A-

	AAC			Alter All Commands
	AAD                     Alter All Data
	AAO                     Add And Overflow
	AAR			Alter at Random
	AB			Add Backwards
	ABC			AlphaBetize Code
 	ABR                     Add Beyond Range
        ACC                     Advance CPU clock
	ACDC			Allow Controller to die peacefully
	ACQT                    Advance Clock to Quitting Time
	ADB                     Another Damn Bug [UNIX]
        AEE                     Absolve engineering errors
	AFF                     Add Fudge Factor
	AFHB                    Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary
	AFP                     Abnormalize Floating Point
	AFR			Abort Funny Routine
	AFVC			Add Finagle's Variable Constant
	AGB                     Add GarBage
	AI  			Add Improper(ly)
	AIB			Attack Innocent Bystander
	AMM                     Answer My Mail
	AMM			Add Mayo and Mustard
	AMS			Add Memory to System
	ANFSCD			And Now For Something Completely Different
	AOI			Annoy Operator Immediate
	AR 			Advance Rudely
	AR 			Alter Reality
	ARN			Add and Reset to Nonzero
	ARZ			Add and Reset to Zero
	AS			Add Sideways
	AT			Accumulate Trivia
	AWP			Argue With Programmer
	AWTT			Assemble with Tinker Toys
			-B-
	BA			Branch Anywhere
	BAC			Branch to Alpha Centauri
	BAF			Blow all Fuses
	BAFL			Branch and Flush
	BAH			Branch and Hang
	BALC			Branch and Link Cheeseburger
	BAP			Branch and Punt
	BAW			Bells and Whistles
        BB                      Branch on bug
	BBBB			Byte Baudy Bit and Branch
	BBD			Branch on Bastille Day
	BBIL			Branch on Burned-Out Indicator Light
	BBLB			Branch on Blinking Light Bulb
	BBT			Branch on Binary Tree
	BBW			Branch Both Ways
	BCB			Burp and Clear Bytes
        BCF		        Branch and Catch Fire
	BCF			Branch on Chip box Full
	BCIL			Branch Creating Infinite Loop
	BCR			Backspace Card Reader
	BCU			Be Cruel and Unusual
	BD			Backspace Disk
	BD			Branch to Data
	BDC			Break Down and Cry
	BDI			Branch to Data, Indirect
	BDM			Branch and Disconnect Memory
	BDT			Burn Data Tree
	BE                      Branch Everywhere
	BEW			Branch Either Way
	BF			Belch Fire
	BFF			Branch and Form Feed
	BFM			Be Fruitful and Multiply
	BH			Branch and Hang
	BIR                     Branch Inside Ranch
        BIRM                    Branch on index register missing
	BLC			Branch and Loop Continuous
	BLI			Branch and Loop Infinite
	BLM			Branch, Like, Maybe
	BLMWM			Branch, Like, Maybe, Wow, Man
	BLP			Boot from Line Printer
	BLR			Branch and Lose Return
	BLSH			Buy Low, Sell High
	BM			Branch Maybe
	BMI			Branch on Missing Index
	BMI			Branch to Muncee, Immediate
	BMP			Branch and Make Popcorn
	BMR			Branch Multiple Registers
	BNA			Branch to Nonexistant Address
	BNCB			Branch and Never Come Back
	BNR			Branch for No Reason
	BOB			Branch on Bug
	BOD			Beat on the Disk
	BOD			Branch on Operator Desperate
	BOH			Branch on Humidity
        BOHP                    Bribe operator for higher priority
	BOI			Byte Operator Immediately
	BOP			Boot OPerator
	BOT			Branch On Tree
	BPB			Branch on Program Bug
	BPDI			Be Polite, Don't Interrupt
	BPIM			Bury Programmer in Manuals
	BPL			Branch PLease
	BPO			Branch on Power Off
	BPP			Branch & Pull Plug
	BR			Byte and Run
	BRA			Branch to Random Address
	BRI			Branch Indefiniteley
	BRO			BRanch to Oblivion
	BRSS			Branch on Sunspot
	BS			Behave Strangely
	BSC			Branch on Second Coming
	BSI			Backup Sewer Immediately
	BSM			Branch and Scramble Memory
        BSO                     Branch on sleepy operator
	BSP			Backspace Punch
	BSR			Branch and Stomp Registers
	BSST			BackSpace and Stretch Tape
	BST			Backspace and Stretch Tape
	BTD			Byte The Dust
	BTD			Branch on Time of Day
	BTJ			Branch and Turn Japanese
	BTO			Branch To Oblivion
	BTW			Branch on Third Wednesday
	BU			Branch Unexpectedly
	BVS			Branch & Veer South
	BW			Branch on Whim
	BWABL			Bells, Whistles, and Blinking Lights
	BWC			Branch When Convenient
	BWF			Busy - Wait Forever
	BWOP			BeWilder OPerator
	BYDS			Beware Your Dark Side
	BYTE			BYte TEst
			-C-
	CAC                     Calling All Cars...
	CAC			Cash And Carry
	CAF			Convert ASCII to Farsii
	CAI			Corrupt Accounting Information
	CAIL			Crash After I Leave
	CAR			Cancel Accounts Receivable
	CAT			Confused And Tired [UNIX]
	CB			Consult Bozo
	CBA			Compare and Branch Anyway
	CBBR			Crash & Blow Boot ROM
	CBNC			Close, but no Cigar
	CBS			Clobber BootStrap
	CC			Call Calvery
	CC			Compliment Core
	CCB			Chocolate Chip Byte-mode
	CCB			Consult Crystal Ball
	CCC			Crash if Carry Clear
	CCCP			Conditionally Corrupt Current Process
        CCD                     Clear Core and Dump
	CCD			Choke Cough and Die
	CCR			Change Channels at Random
	CCS			Chinese Character Set
	CCWR			Change Color of Write Ring
	CD			Complement Disk
	CDC			Close Disk Cover
	CDC			Clear Disk and Crash
  	CDIOOAZ			Calm Down, It's Only Ones and Zeroes
	CDS			Change Disk Speed
	CEMU			Close Eyes and Monkey With User Space
	CEX			Call EXterminator
	CF			Come From (replaces GOTO)
	CFE			Call Field Engineer
	CFP			Change and Forget Password
	CFS			Corrupt File Structure
	CG			Convert to Garbage
	CH			Create Havoc
	CHAPMR			Chase Pointers Around Machine Room
	CHCJ			Compare Haig to Christine Jorgensen
	CHSE			Compare Half-words and Swap if Equal
	CIB			Change Important Byte
	CIC			Cash In Chips
	CID			Compare and Ignore Data
	CIMM			Create Imaginary Memory Map
	CIZ			Clear If Zero
	CLBR			Clobber Register
	CLBRI			Clobber Register Immediately
	CM			Circulate Memory
	CMD			Compare Meaningless Data
	CMD			CPU Melt Down
	CMI			Clobber Monitor Immediately
	CML			Compute Meaning of Life
	CMP			Create Memory Prosthesis
	CMS			Click MicroSwitch
	CN			Compare Nonsensically
	CNB			Cause Nervous Breakdown
	CNS			Call Nonexistent Subroutine
	COD			Crash On Demand
	COLB			Crash for Operator's Lunch Break
	COCS			Copy Object Code to Source
	COM			Clear Operator's Mind
	COMF			COMe From
	CON			Call Operator Now
	COS			Copy Object code to Source file
	COWYHU			Come Out With Your Hands Up
	CP 			Compliment Programmer
	CP%FKM			CPU - FlaKeout Mode
	CP%WM			CPU - Weird Mode
	CPB			Create Program Bug
	CPN			Call Programmer Names
	CPPR			Crumple Printer Paper and Rip
	CRASH			Continue Running After Stop or Halt
	CRB			Crash and Burn
	CRD			Confirm Rumor by Denial
	CRM			Clear Random Memory
	CRM			CReate Memory
	CRN			Convert to Roman Numerals
	CRN			Compare with Random Number
	CRYPT			reCuRsive encrYPt Tape mneumonic [UNIX]
	CS			Crash System
	CSL			Curse and Swear Loudly
	CSN			Call Supervisor Names
	CSNIO			Crash System on Next I/O
	CSS			Crash Subsidiary Systems
	CSU			Call Self Unconditional
	CTDMR			Change Tape Density, Mid Record	
	CTT			Call Time & Temperature
	CU			Convert to Unary
	CUC			Cheat Until Caught
	CVFL			ConVert Floating to Logical
	CVFP			ConVert FORTRAN to PASCAL
	CVG			Convert to Garbage
	CWAH			Create Woman and Hold
	CWB			Carry With Borrow
	CWDC			Cut Wires and Drop Core
	CWG			Chase Wild Goose
	CWGK			Compare Watt to Genghis Khan
	CWIT			Compare Watt to Ivan the Terrible
	CWM			Compare Watt to Mussolini
	CWOM			Complement Write-only Memory
	CZZC			Convert Zone to Zip Code
			-D-
	DA			Develop Amnesia
	DAB			Delete All Bugs
	DAO			Divide And Overflow
	DAP			De-select Active Peripheral
	DAUF			Delete All Useless Files
	DB			Drop Bits
	DBL			Desegregate Bus Lines
	DBR			Debase Register
	DBTP			Drop Back Ten and Punt
	DBZ			Divide by Zero
	DC			Divide and Conquer
	DC			Degauss Core
	DCAD			Dump Core And Die
	DCD			Drop Cards Double
	DCGC			Dump Confusing Garbage to Console
	DCI			Disk Crash Immediate
	DCON			Disable CONsle
	DCR			Double precision CRash
	DCT			Drop Cards Triple
	DCWPDGD			Drink Coffee, Write Program, Debug, Get Drunk
	DD			Destroy Disk
	DD 			Drop Disk
	DDC			Dally During Calculations
	DDOA			Drop Dead On Answer
	DDS			Delaminate Disk Surface
	DDWB			Deposit Directly in Wastepaper Basket
	DE			Destroy Peripherals
	DEB			Disk Eject Both
	DEC			Decompile Executable Code
	DEI			Disk Eject Immediate
	DEM			Disk Eject Memory
	DGT			Dispense Gin & Tonic
	DHTPL			Disk Head Three Point Landing
	DIA			Develop Ineffective Address
	DIE			DIsable Everything
	DIIL			Disable Interrupts and enter Infinite Loop
	DIRFO			Do It Right For Once
	DISC			DISmount Cpu
	DK			Destroy Klingons
	DK%WMM			Disk Unit - Washing Machine Mode
	DKP			Disavow Knowledge of Programmer
	DLN			Don't Look Now...
	DLP			Drain Literal Pool
	DMAG			Do MAGic
	DMNS			Do What I Mean, Not What I Say
	DMPE			Decide to Major in Phys. Ed.
	DMPK			Destroy Memory Protect Key
	DMZ			Divide Memory by Zero
	DNPG			Do Not Pass Go
	DO			Divide and Overflow
	DOC			Drive Operator Crazy
	DPCS			Decrement Program Counter Secretly
	DPMI			Declare Programmer Mentally Incompetent
	DPN			Double Precision No-op
	DPR			Destroy Program
	DPS			Disable Power Supply
	DR			Detach Root
	DRAF			DRAw Flowchart
	DRAM			Decrement RAM
	DRD			DRop Dead
	DRI			Disable Random Interrupt
	DROM			Destroy ROM
	DRT			Disconnect Random Terminal
	DS			Deadlock System
	DSI			Do Something Interesting
	DSO			Disable System Operator
	DSP			Degrade System Performance
	DSR			Detonate Status Register
	DSTD			Do Something Totally Different
	DSUIT			Do Something Utterly, Indescribably Terrible
	DT%FFP			DecTape - unload and Flappa FlaP
	DT%SHO			DecTape - Spin Hubs Opposite
	DTB			Destructively Test Bit
	DTC			Destroy This Command
	DTE			Decrement Telephone Extension
	DTI			Do The Impossible
	DTRT			Do The Right Thing
	DTVFL			Destroy Third Variable From Left
	DU			Dump User
	DUD			Do Until Dead
	DW			Destroy World
	DWIM			Do What I Mean
	DWIT			Do What I'm Thinking
			-E-
	EA			Enable Anything
	EAC			Emulate Acoustic Coupler
	EAL			Enable AC to Logic rack
	EAO			Enable AC to Operator
	EBB			Edit and Blank Buffer
	EBB			Empty Bit Bucket
	EBR			Erase Before Reading
	EBRS			Emit Burnt Resistor Smell
        EC                      Eat card
	ECL			Early Care Lace
	ECO			Electrocute Computer Operator
	ECP			Erase Card Punch
	ED			Eject Disk
	ED			Execute Data (verrrry useful)
	EDD			Eat Disk and Die
	EDIT			Erase Data and Increment Time
	EDP			Emulate Debugged Program
	EDR			Execute Destructive Read
	EDS			Execute Data Segment
	EEOIFNO			Execute Every Other Instruction From
				   Now On
	EEP			Erase Entire Program
	EFB			Emulate Five-volt Battery
	EFD			Emulate Frisbee Using Disk Pack
	EFD			Eject Floppy Disk
	EFE			Emulate Fatal Error
	EHC			Emulate Headless Chicken
	EIAO			Execute In Any Order
	EIO			Erase I/O page
	EIOC			Execute Invalid Op-code
	EIP			Execute Programmer Immeditely
	EJD%V			EJect Disk with initial velocity V
	ELP			Enter Loop Permenantly
        EM                      Emulate 407
	EM			Evacuate Memory
	EMM			Emulate More Memory
	EMPC			Emulate Pocket Calculator
	EMSE			Edit and Mark Something Else
	EMSL			Entire Memory Shift Left
	EMT			Electrocute Maintenance Technician
        EMW                     Emulate Matag washer
	ENA			ENable Anything
	ENF			Emit Noxious Fumes
	ENO			Emulate No-Op
	EO			Electrocute Operator
	EOB			Execute Operator and Branch
	EOI			Explode On Interrupt
	EOS			Erase Operating System
	EP			Execute Programmer
	EPI			Execute Programmer Immediately
	EPITS			Execute Previous Instruction Then Skip
	EPL			Emulate Phone Line
	EPP			Eject Printer Paper
	EPS			Electrostatic Print and Smear
	EPS			Execute Program Sideways
	EPSW			Execute Program Status Word
	EPT			Erase Process Table
	EPT			Erase Punched Tape
	ERIC			Eject Random Integrated Circuit
	ERM			Erase Reserved Memory
	EROM			Erase Read Only Memory
	EROS			Erase Read-only Storage
	ESB			Eject Selectric Ball
	ESC			Emulate System Crash
	ESD			Eject Spinning Dish
	ESD			Eat Shit & Die
	ESL			Exceed Speed of Light
	ESP			Enable SPrinkler system
	ETI			Execute This Instruction
	ETM			Emulate Trinary Machine
	EVC			Execute Verbal Commands
	EWD			Enter Warp Drive
	EWM			Enter Whimsy Mode
	EXI			Execute Invalid Operation
	EXOP			Execute Operator
	EXPP			Execute Political Prisoner
			-F-
	FAY			Fetch Amulet of Yendor
	FB			Find Bugs
	FC			Fry Console
	FCJ			Feed Cards and Jam
	FD			Forget Data
	FDR			Feed Disk Randomly
	FERA			Forms Eject and Run Away
	FFF			Form Feed Forever
	FLD			FLing Disk
	FLI			Flash Lights Impressively
	FM			Forget Memory
	FMP			Finish My Program
	FOPC			False Out-of-Paper Condition
	FPC			Feed Paper Continuously
	FPT			Fire Photon Torpedoes
	FRG			Fill with Random Garbage
	FS			Feign Sleep
	FSM			Fold, Spindle and Mutilate
	FSRA			Forms Skip and Run Away
			-G-
	GBB			Go to Back of Bus
	GCAR			Get Correct Answer Regardless
	GDP			Grin Defiantly at Programmer
	GDR			Grab Degree and Run
	GENT			GENerate Thesis
	GEW{JO}			Go to the End of the World {Jump Off}
	GFD			Go Forth and Divide
	GFM			Go Forth and Multiply
	GIE			Generate Irreversible Error
	GLC			Generate Lewd Comment
	GMC			Generate Machine Check
	GMCC			Generate Machine Check and Cash
	GND			Guess at Next Digit
	GORS			GO Real Slow
	GREM			Generate Random Error Message
	GREP			Global Ruin, Expiration, and Purgation [UNIX]
	GRMC			Generate Rubber Machine Check
	GS			Get Strange
	GSB			Gulp and Store Bytes
	GSI			Generate Spurious Interrupts
	GSU			Geometric Shift Up
	GTJ			Go To Jail
			-H-
	HACF			Halt And Catch Fire
	HAH			Halt And Hang
	HBW			Hang Bus & Wait
	HCP			Hide Central Processor
	HCRS			Hang in CRitical Section
	HDO			Halt and Disable Operator
	HDH			Hi Dee Ho
	HDRW			Halt and Display Random Word
	HELP			Type "No Help Available"
	HF			Hide File
	HGD			Halt, Get Drunk
	HHB			Halt and Hang Bus
	HIS			Halt in Imposible State
	HOO			Hide Operator's Output
	HRPR			Hang up and Ruin Printer Ribbon
	HSC			Halt on System Crash
	HSJ			Halt, Skip and Jump
	HTC			Halt & Toss Cookies
	HTS			Halt & Throw Sparks
	HUAL			Halt Until After Lunch
	HUP			Hang Up Phone
	HWP			Halt Without Provocation
			-I-
	IAND			Illogical AND
	IAE			Ignore All Exceptions
        IAI                     Inquire and ignore
	IBM			Increment and Branch to Muncee
	IBP			Insert Bug and Proceed
	IBR			Insert BUgs at Random
	ICB			Interrupt, Crash and Burn
	ICM			Immerse Central Memory
	ICMD			Initiate Core Melt Down
	ICSP			Invert CRT Screen Picture
	IDC			Initiate Destruct Command
	IDI			Invoke Divine Intervention
	IDNOP			InDirect No-OP
	IDPS			Ignore Disk Protect Switch
	IEOF			Ignore End Of File
	IF			Invoke Force
	IGI			Increment Grade Immediately
	IGIT			Increment Grade Immediately Twice
	IHC			Initiate Head Crash
	II			Inquire and Ignore
	IIB			Ignore Inquiry and Branch
	IIC			Insert Invisible Characters
	IIL			Irreversable Infinite Loop
	IM			Imagine Memory
	IMBP			Insert Mistake and Blame Programmer
	IMP                     Imitate Monty Python
	IMPG			IMPress Girlfriend
	IMV			IMpress Visitors
	INCAM			INCrement Arbitrary Memory
	INI			Ignore Next Instruction
	INOP			Indirect No-OP
	INR			INstigate Rumor
	INW			INvalidate Warranty
	IOI			Ignore Operator's Instruction
	IOR			Illogical OR
	IP			Increment and Pray
	IPI			Ignore Previous Instruction
	IPM 			Ignore Programmer's Mistakes
	IPOP			Interrupt Processor, Order Pizza
	IPS			Incinerate Power Supply
	IPS			Increment Power Supply
	IPT			Ignite Paper Tape
	IRB			Invert Record and Branch
	IRBI			Insert Random Bits Indexed
	IRC			Insert Random Commands
	IRE			Insert Random Errors
	IRI			Ignore Rude Interrupts
	IRPF			Infinite Recursive Page Fault
	ISC			Ignore System Crash
	ISC			Insert Sarcastic Comments
	ISC			Ignore Supervisor Calls
	ISI			Increment and Skip on Inifinity
	ISP			Increment and Skip on Pi
	ISTK			Invert STacK
	ITML			Initiate Termites into Macro Library
	IU			Ignore User(s)
	IZ			Ignore Zeroes
			-J-
	JAA			Jump Almost Always
	JBS			Jump and Blow Stack
	JCI			Jump to Current Instruction
	JFM			Jump on Full Moon
	JHRB			Jump to H&R Block
	JLP			Jump and Lose Pointer
	JMAT			JuMp on Alternate Thursdays
	JN			Jump to Nowhere
	JNL			Jump when programmer is Not Looking
	JOM			Jump Over Moon
	JOP			Jump OPerator
	JPA			Jump when Pizza Arrives
	JRAN			Jump RANdom
	JRCF			Jump Relative and Catch Fire
	JRGA			Jump Relative and Get Arrested
	JRL			Jump to Random Location
	JRSR			Jump to Random Subroutine
	JSC			Jump on System Crash
	JSU			Jump Self Unconditional
	JT			Jump if Tuesday
	JTT			Jump and Tangle Tape
	JTZ			Jump to Twilight Zone
	JWN			Jump When Necessary
			-K-
        KCE                     Kill Consultant on Error
	KEPITU			Kill Every Process In The Universe
	KP			Krunch Paper
	KSR			Keyboard Shift Right
	KUD			Kill User's Data
			-L-
	LAC			Lose All Communication
	LAGW			Load And Go Wrong
	LAP			Laugh At Program(mer)
	LCC			Load and Clear Core
	LCD			Launch Cartridge Disk
	LCK			Lock Console Keyswitch
	LEB			Link Edit Backwards
	LIA			Load Ineffective Address
	LMB			Lose Message and Branch
	LMO			Load and Mug Operator
	LMYB			Logical MaYBe
	LN			Lose inode Number [UNIX]
	LNP			Load N digits of Pi
	LOSM			Log Off System Manager
	LP%PAS			Line Printer - Print And Smear
	LP%RDD			Line Printer - Reverse Drum Direction
	LP%TCR			Line Printer - Tangle and Chew Ribbon
	LPA			Lead Programmer Astray
	LPRTC			Load Program counter from Real Time Clock
	LR                      Load Revolver
	LRA			Load RetroActively
	LRD			Load Random Data
        LSPSW                   Load and Scramble PSW
	LTS                     Link To Sputnik
	LUM			LUbricate Memory
	LWE			Load WhatEver
	LWM			Load Write-only Memory
			-M-
	MAB			Melt Address Bus
	MAN			Make Animal Noises
	MAZ			Multiply Answer by Zero
	MBC			Make Batch Confetti
	MBH			Memory Bank Hold-up
	MBR			Multiply and be Fruitful
	MBTD			Mount Beatles on Tape Drive
	MBTOL			Move Bug To Operator's Lunch
	MC			Move Continuous
	MD			Move Devious
	MDB			Move and Drop Bits
	MDC			Make Disk Crash
	MDDHAF			Make Disk Drive Hop Across Floor
	MFO			Mount Female Operator
	MLB			Memory Left shift and Branch
	MLP			Make Lousy Program
	MLP			Multiply and Lose Precision
	MLR			Move and Lose Record
	MMLG			Make Me Look Good
	MNI			Misread Next Instruction
	MOG			Make Operator Growl
	MOP			Modify Operator's Personality
	MOU			MOunt User [causes computer to screw you]
	MPLP			Make Pretty Light Pattern
	MRZ			Make Random Zap
	MSGD			Make Screen Go Dim
	MSP			Mistake Sign for Parity
	MSPI			Make Sure Plugged In
	MSR			Melt Special Register
        MST                     Mount Scotch Tape
	MT%HRDV			Mag Tape - High speed Rewind and Drop Vaccuum
	MTI			Make Tape Invalid
	MW			Malfunction Whenever
	MW			Multiply Work
	MWAG			Make Wild-Assed Guess
	MWC			Move and Wrap Core
	MWT			Malfunction Without Telling
			-N-
	NBC			Negate By Clearing
	NMI			Negate Most Integers
	NOP           		Needlessly Omit Pointer
	NPC			Normalize Program Counter
	NTGH			Not Tonight, i've Got a Headache
			-O-
	OCF			Open Circular File
	OMC			Obscene Message to Console
	OML			Obey Murphy's Laws
	OPP			Order Pizza for Programmer
	OSI			Overflow Stack Indefinitely
	OTL			Out To Lunch
			-P-
	P$*!			Punch Obscenity
	PA			Punch in ASCII
	PAS			Print And Smear
	PAUD			PAUse Dramatically
	PAZ			Pack Alpha Zone
	PBC			Print and Break Chain
	PBD			Print and Break Drum
	PBM			Pop Bubble Memory
	PBPBPBP			Place Backup in Plain Brown Paper Bag, Please
	PBST			Play Batch mode Star Trek
	PCI			Pleat Cards Immediate
	PCR			Print and Cut Ribbon
	PD			Play Dead
	PD			Punch Disk
	PDLD			Power Down and Lock Door (to computer room)
	PDSK			Punch DiSK
	PEHC			Punch Extra Holes in Cards
	PEP			Print on Edge of Paper
	PFD			Punt on Fourth Down
	PFE			Print Floating Eye [rogue]
	PFML			Print Four Million Lines
	PI			Punch Invalid
	PIBM			Pretend to be an IBM
	PIC			Print Illegible Characters
	PIC			Punch Invalid Character
        PLSC                    Perform Light Show on Console
	PNIH                    Place Needle in Haystack
	PNRP			Print Nasty Replies to Programmer
	PO			Punch Operator
	POCL			Punch Out Console Lights
	POG                     Print Only Greek
	POPI			Punch OPerator Immediately
	POPN			Punch OPerator's Nose
	PPA			Print Paper Airplanes
	PPL			Perform Perpetual Loop
	PPP			Print Programmer's Picture
	PPR			Play Punk Rock
        PPSW                    Pack Program Status Word
	PSP			Print and Shred Paper
	PSR			Print and Shred Ribbon
	PTP			Produce Toilet Paper
	PVLC			Punch Variable Length Card
	PWP			Print Without Paper
	PWS			create PoWer Surge
	PYS			Program Yourself
			-Q-
	QWYA			Quit While Your Ahead
			-R-
	RA			Randomize Answer
	RAM			Read Ambiguous Memory
	RAN			Random Opcode [similar to 16-bit what gate]
	RASC			Read And Shred Card
	RAST			Read And Shred Tape
	RAU			Ridicule All Users
	RBAO			Ring Bell and Annoy Operator
	RBG			Read Blank Tape
	RBLY			Restore Back-up from Last Year
        RBT                     Rewind and Break Tape
	RC			Rewind Core
	RCAJ			Read Card And Jam
	RCB			Read Command Backwards
	RCB			Run Clock Backwards
	RCC			Read Card and Chew
	RCCP			Randomly Corrupt Current Process
	RCF			Rewind Cabinet Fans
	RCKG			Read Count Key and Garbage
	RCL 			Rotate Carry Left
	RCR			Rewind Card Reader
	RCRV			Randomly Convert to Reverse Video
	RCSD			Read Card, Scramble Data
	RD			Reverse Directions
	RD			Randomize Data
	RDA			Refuse to Disclose Answer
	RDB			Run Disk Backwards
	RDB			Replace Database with Blanks
	RDD			Reverse Disk Drive
	RDDBF			Rock Disk Drive Back and Forth
	RDEB			Read and Drop Even number of Bits
	RDF			Randomize Directory Filenames
        RDI                     Reverse Drum Immediate
	RDR			Reverse Disk Rotation
	RDS			Read SiDeways
	RENVR			REName Variables Randomly
	RET			Read and Erase Tape
	RF			Read Fingerprints
	RG			Record Garbage
	RHO			Randomize and Halt if not = to 0
	RIC			Rotate Illogical thru Carry
	RID			Read Invalid Data
	RIOP			Rotate I/O Ports
	RIR			Read Invalid Record
	RIRG			Read Inter-record Gap
	RJE			Return Jump and Explode
	RLC			Relocate and Lose Core
	RLC			Reread Last Card
	RLC			Rotate Left with Carolyn
	RLI			Rotate Left Indefinitely
	RLP			Rewind Line Printer
	RLP			Refill Light Pen
	RM			Ruin My files
	RMI			Randomize Memory Immediate
	RMT			Remove Trap
	RMV			Remove Memory Virtues
	RN			Read Noise
	RNBS			Reflect Next Bus Signal
	ROC			Randomize Op Codes
	ROC			Rotate Outward from Center
	ROD			ROtate Diagonally
	ROM			Read Operator's Mind
	ROO			Rub Out Operator
	ROOP			Run Out Of Paper
	ROPF			Read Other People's Files
	ROS			Reject Operating System
	ROS			Return On Shield
	RP			Read Printer
	RPB			Read Print and Blush
	RPB			Raise Parity Bits
	RPBR			Reverse Parity and BRanch
	RPC			Rotate Program Counter
	RPM			Read Programmer's Mind
	RPU			Read character and Print Upsidedown
	RRC			Rotate Random thru Carry
	RRR			Read Record and Run away
	RRR			Randomly Rotate Register
	RRRL			Random Rotate Register Left
	RRRR			Random Rotate Register Right
	RRSGWSSNK		Round and Round She Goes, Where
				   She Stops, Nobody Knows
	RRT			Record and Rip Tape
	RS			Random Slew
	RSD			On Read Error Self-Destruct
	RST			Rewind and Stretch Tape
	RSTOM			Read From Store-only Memory
        RT                      Reduce Throughput
	RTS			Return To Sender
	RVAC			Return from VACation
	RWCR			ReWind Card Reader
	RWD			ReWind Disk
	RWF			Read Wrong File
			-S-
	SA			Store Anywhere
	SAD			Search(seek) and Destroy
	SAI			Skip All Instructions
	SAS			Sit And Spin
	SAS			Show Appendix Scar
	SBE			Swap Bits Erratically
	SC			Scramble Channels
	SC			Shred Cards
	SCB			Spindle Card and Belch
	SCCA			Short Circuit on Correct Answer
	SCD			Shuffle and Cut DEC
	SCH			Slit Cards Horizontal
	SCI			Shred Cards Immediate
	SCM			Set for Crash Mode
	SCOM			Set Cobol-Only Mode
	SCRRC			SCRamble Register Contents	
	SCST			Switch Channel to Star Trek
	SCTR			Stick Card To Reader
	SD			Scramble Directory
	SD			Slip Disk
	SDC			Spool Disk to Console
	SDD			Seek and Destroy Data
	SDDB			Snap Disk Drive Belt
	SDE			Solve Differential Equations
	SDI			Self Destruct Immediately
	SDM			Search and Destroy Memory
	SDR			Slam Down Rondo [worst soda ever made]
	SEB			Stop Eating and Burp
	SEOB			Set Every Other Bit
	SEX			Set EXecution register [real on the RCA 1802]
	SEX			Sign EXtend
	SFH			Set Flags to Half-mast
	SFP			Send for Pizza
	SFR			Send for Reinforcements
	SFT			Stall For Time
	SFTT			Strip Form Tractor Teeth
	SHAB			Shift a Bit
	SHABM			Shift a Bit More
	SHB			Stop and Hang Bus
	SHCD			SHuffle Card Deck
	SHIT			Stop Here If Thursday
	SHON			Simulate HONeywell CPU [permanent NO-OP]
	SHRC			SHRed Card
	SHRT			SHRed Tape
	SID			Switch to Infinite Density
        SIP                     Store Indefinite Precision
	SJV			Scramble Jump Vectors
	SLP			Sharpen Light Pen
	SMC			Scramble Memory Contents
	SMD			Spontaneous Memory Dump [classfied data only]
	SMR			Skip on Meaningless Result
	SMS			Shred Mylar Surface
	SNARF			System Normalize and Reset Flags
	SNM			Show No Mercy
	SNO			Send Nukes on Overflow
	SOAWP			SOlve All the World'd Problems
	SOB			Stew On Brew [a real PDP-11 instruction]
	SOD			Surrender Or Die !
	SOI                     Screw O'Coin Intentionally (personal one)
	SOP			Stop and Order Pizza
	SOS			Sign off, Stupid
	SOT			Sit on a Tack
	SP			Scatter Print
	SPA			Sliding Point Arithmetic
        SPD                     Spin Dry Disc
	SPB			Simulate Peanut Butter
	SPS			Set Panel Switches
	SPSW			Scramble Program Status Word
	SQPWYC			Sit Quietly and Play With Your Crayons
	SRBO			Set Random Bits to Ones
	SRBZ			Set Random Bits to Zeroes
	SRC			Select Random Channel
        SRCC                    Select Reader and Chew Cards
	SRD			Switch to Random Density
	SRDR			Shift to Right Double Ridiculous
	SRO			Sort with Random Ordering
	SROS			Store in Read Only Storage
	SRR			Shift Registers Random
	SRSD			Seek Record and Scratch Disk
	SRSZ			Seek Record and Scar Disk
	SRTC			Stop Real-Time Clock
	SRU			Signoff Random User
	SRZ			Subtract and Reset to Zero
	SRDR			Shift Right Double Ridiculous
	SRSD			Seek Record and Scar Disk
	SRZ			Subtract and Reset to Zero
	SSB			Scramble Status Byte
	SSJ			Select Stacker and Jam
	SSJP			Select Stacker and JumP
	SSM			Solve by Supernatural Means
	SSP			Seek SPindle
	SSP			Smoke and SPark
	SST			Seek and Stretch Tape
	ST			Set and Test
	STA			STore Anywhere
	STC			Slow To a Crawl
	STD			Stop, Take Drugs
	STM			STretch Magtape
	STM			Skip on Third Monday
	STO			Strangle Tape Operator
	STROM			Store in Read-only Memory
	STPR			SToP Rain
	STROM			STore in Read-Only Memory
	STTHB			Set Terminal to Three Hundred Baud
	SUIQ			Subtract User's IQ
	SUME			SUprise ME
	SUP			Solve Unsolvable Problem
	SUR			Screw Up Royally
	SUS			Stop Until Spring
	SUS			Subtract Until Senseless
	SWAT			SWAp Terminals
	SWN			SWap Nibbles
	SWOS			Store in Write Only Storage
	SWS			Sort to Wrong Slots
	SWT			Select Wrong Terminal
	SWU			Select Wrong Unit
	SWZN			Skip Whether Zero or Not
	SZD			Switch to Zero Density
			-T-
	TAH			Take A Hike
	TAI			Trap Absurd Inputs
	TARC			Take Arithmetic Review Course
	TBFTG			Two Burgers and Fries To Go
	TC			Transmit Colors (but avoid red)
	TDB			Transfer and Drop Bits
	TDRB			Test and Destroy Random Bits
	TDS			Trash Data Segment
	TLNF			Teach me a Lesson i'll Never Forget
	TLO			Turn Indicator Lights Off
	TLW			Transfer and Lose Way
	TN			Take a Nap
	TOAC			Turn Off Air Conditioner
	TOG			Time Out, Graduate
	TOG			Take Out Garbage
	TOH			Take Operator Hostage
	TOO			Turn On/Off Operator
	TOP			Trap OPerator
	TOS			Trash Operating System
	TPD			Triple Pack Decimal
	TPDH			Tell Programmer to Do it Him/Herself
	TPF			Turn Power Off
	TPN			Turn Power On
	TPR			TeaR Paper
	TR			Turn into Rubbish [UNIX]
	TRA			Te Rdls Arvs [Type Ridiculous Abbreviations]
        TSH                     Trap Secretary and Halt
	TSM			Trap Secretary and Mount
	TST			Trash System Tracks
	TT%CN			TeleType - Clunk Noise
	TT%EKB			TeleType - Electrify KeyBoard
	TTA			Try, Try Again
	TTIHLIC  		Try To Imagine How Little I Care
	TTITT			Turn 2400 foot Tape Into Two 1200 foot Tapes
	TTL			Tap Trunk Line
	TTL			Time To Logoff
	TYF			Trust Your Feelings
			-U-
	UA			Unload Accumulator
	UAI			Use Alternate Instrucction set
	UAPA(AM)		Use all Power Available (And More)
	UCB			Uncouple CPU and Branch
	UCK			Unlock Console Keyswitch
	UCPUB			Uncouple CPU's and Branch
	UDR			Update and Delete Record
	UER			Update and Erase Record
	UFO			Unidentified Flag Operation
	ULDA			UnLoaD Accumulator
	UMR			Unlock Machine Room
        UNPD                    UNPlug and Dump
	UOP			Useless OPeration
	UP			Understand Program(mer)
	UPA			Use all Power Available
	UPC			Understand Program(mer)'s Comments
	UPCI			Update Card In Place
	UPI			Undo Previous Instruction (only in EMACS)
	URB			Update, Resume and Branch
	UTF			Unwind Tape onto Floor
	UTF			Use The Force
	UUBR			Use Undefined Base Register
			-V-
	VAX			Violate All eXecutions
	VFE			Violate Field Engineer
	VFO			Violate Female Operator
	VMA			Violate Maintenance Agreement
	VNO			Violate Noise Ordinance
	VPA			Vanishing Point Arithmetic
	VVM			Vaporize Virtual Memory
			-W-
	WAD			Walk Away in Disgust
	WAT			WAste Time
	WBB			Write to the Bit Bucket
	WBT			Water Binary Tree
	WC			Waste Core [UNIX]
	WCR			Write to Card Reader
	WDR			Warp disk DRive
	WED			Write and Erase Data
	WEMG			Write Eighteen Minute Gap
	WF			Wait Forever
	WGPB			Write Garbage in Process-control Block
	WHFO			Wait Until Hell Freezes Over
	WHP			Wave Hands over Program
	WI			Write Illegibly
	WI			Why Immediate
	WID			Write Invalid Data
	WNHR			Write New Hit Record
	WNR			Write Noise Record
	WPET			Write Past End of Tape
	WPM			Write Programmer's Mind
	WSE			Write Stack Everywhere
	WSWW			Work in Strange and Wonderous Ways
	WUPO			Wad Up Printer Output
	WWLR			Write Wrong-Length Record
	WWR			Write Wrong Record
	WSWW			Work in Strange and Wondrous Ways
			-X-
	XIO			eXecute Invalid Opcode
	XKF			eXecute Kermit the Frog
	XMB			eXclusive MayBe
	XOH			eXecute no-Op and Hang
	XOR			eXecute OpeRator
	XOS			eXchange Operator's Sex
	XPR			eXecute Programmer
	XPSW			eXecute Program Status Word
	XSP			eXecute Systems Programmer
	XVF			eXchange Virtue for Fun
			-Y-
	YAB			Yet Another Bug
	YASE			Yet Another Stupid Error
			-Z-
	ZAP			Zero and Add Packed
	ZAR			Zero Any Register
	ZD			Zap Directory
	ZEOW			Zero Every Other Word
	ZPI			ZaP Immediate



Sperry (Unisys) 1100/90 Opcodes :

AGB   Add GarBage
BBL   Branch on Burned out Light
BAH   Branch And Hang
BLI   Branch and Loop Infinite
BPB   Branch on Program Bug 
BPO   Branch if Power Off
CPB   Create Program Bug
CRN   Convert to Roman Numerals
DAO   Divide And Overflow
ERS   Erase Read-only Storage
HCF   Halt and Catch Fire
IAD   Illigical And
IOR   Illogical Or
MDB   Move and Drop Bits
MWK   Multiply WorK
PAS   Print And Smear
RBT   Read and Break Tape
RPM   Read Programmer's Mind
RRT   Record and Rip Tape
RSD   Read and Scramble Data
RWD   ReWind Disk
TPR   Tear PapeR
WED   Write and Erase Data
WID   Write Invalid Data
XIO   Execute Invalid Opcode
XOR   Execute OperatoR
XPR   Execute ProgrammeR
-- 
                        /\                    ?               ________________ 
jjo...@topaz.rutgers.edu \  ____   __       fgu             |.signature under|
 Anything is possible...   \ |  |  / |     orywlut-          |  construction  |
                            ==========    gfgsdfsdfsd        |________________|
_____________________________OO_____O___hfdhksjdhfksjdfs_______||__________||__

-----------------------

~mark
      o o     o   o             o o   o     o        o   o     o o          
              o                       o	o   o  	   o       o   	 o     	     
  o   o     o     o         o     o     o   o      o   	 o     o     N2KOT   
Mark E. Shoulson:  shou...@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu   shoulson@cunixc.bitnet

In alt.folklore.computers, ai...@castle.ed.ac.uk (Paul D. Crowley) wrote:

>On a BBC Micro the command
>REPEAT: MOTOR ON: MOTOR OFF: UNTIL FALSE
>will blow the relay that controls the cassette motor.   It goes sort of
>Bzzzzzzzzzzzzt! and stops.   I've never done it, I've just been told.

Well, I've actually done it. The relay in question didn't actually blow
(probably beacuse I realised that I'd have to pay for a new one and stopped it
in time :-) ). The noise is better with a small delay between the MOTOR ON and
MOTOR OFF commands though (which, BTW, should be OSCLI "MOTOR ON" since it's the
OS that controls the relay and not BASIC).

For the more adventurous: an interrupt routine which randomly turns the disk
drive motors on and off (regardless of whether there's a disk there or not),
and a similair routine to grab the disk head, and drag it to either extremity in
rapid succession. This sounds better with a small delay every 10 tracks or so.

What it is to be irresponsible :-)

Disclaimer: I'm only a student.

-- 
         _____
        (  /  )			if ( under_nuc_attack = YES ) 
          /~~~				retaliate(); 
         / aul

My favorite was always
  BNNL - Branch to Never-Nevel Land

In article <25...@ariel.unm.edu> cs2591aq@carina.unm.edu.UUCP (aNk1ez) writes:
>e: Walking Drives.. Exactly.. Its incredibly nifty, cause they 
>walk in a random direction.. The bigger the drive, the better...
>DEC RP07 drives walk very well.. so do IBM disk pack drives..
>
>Techs

RK07's do too.  When I was an undergrad, we had a PDP11/34 with an RK06
and an RK07 and 6th edition UNIX to run on it (among other OSs).  Well
6th edition was pre RK06 and 07 so I decided to learn UNIX systems hacking
by writing a driver for them.  To make things managable, I partitioned
those huge (:-) 14MB and 28MB spaces into four logical disks.  Well one
day I decided to configure the RK07 so that the root file system was
at one end of the disk and the swap space was at the other.

That was before I understood how much UNIX uses the swap space.

Brian L. Stuart
Department of Computer Science
Purdue University

In article <1990Apr26....@ultra.com> s...@ultra.com (Steve Jay) writes:
>dar...@cec1.wustl.edu (David A. Rochberg) writes:

>The disk platters made great coffee tables after a head crash.

People don't do this much anymore :-) Maybe we should use them for
saucers?

	Paul

-- 
Paul Campbell    UUCP: ..!mtxinu!taniwha!paul     AppleLink: CAMPBELL.P
"The current plan is to replace the flag with one with alternating vertical
black and white stripes of varying widths - this is thought to better represent
the country's system of government ..."

The Diablo typewheel printer has a rather massive printing head. If
you've ever seen one in action, you probably noticed that the table it
was standing on... rocked.

One of the gedanken pranks discussed at Stacken, the computer club at
KTH (Royal Inst. of Tech. in Stockholm) was a file called DIABLO.VLT
-- the .VLT stands for VALT, or topple in english.  It's a file,
which, if you print it on the Diablo, will topple the table by
thrashing the print head back and forth at the table's resonance
frequency. How, you might ask, do you find the table's resonance
frequency? Easy! Just write a program which thrashes the print head
with a frequency slope, until the table falls apart. This will cause
the Diablo to go down with it, pulling out the terminal plug. This is
detected by the program, which then prints out the current value of
the frequency. Piece of cake. Then create a file with those control
sequences.

---

Another similar fight-hardware-with-software story was told when
Stacken visited the IBM printer factory, where they made those
chainsaw... sorry chain printers. Someone had figured out a way to
make *all* the hammers fire simultaneously. Now, the print chain on a
big IBM chain printer is... IBM style - massive, that is. And runs at
a tremendous speed. The standard metaphor for impressing visitors is
picking flowers on the other side of a fence with 30 cm between bars,
from a train going at full speed! The printer was said to jump 2
meters to the left. (And this was before RHPS :-)

"1. Defy authority, 2. Destroy property, 3. Take off people's clothes"
-- Alan Alda's recipe for a box office hit.


-- 
Per Lindberg (The Mad Programmer)  !      __!__
Front Capital Systems              !  _____(_)_____  Ceci n'est pas une Piper
Linneg 5, 11447 Stockholm, Sweden  !     !  !  !

I once wrote a copy protection scheme which, when it sensed a deep penetration,
(i.e. on the last anti-hacker barrier) put up a message claiming that
it was about to trash the main floppy disk drive.  It then set the track-track
access time to about 40 mS (the maximum allowed by the disk controller)
and SEEK'ed from the first to the last track and back, repeatedly.
It made a noise as if it were slowly grinding up the gear train.

--
		David Palmer
		pal...@gap.cco.caltech.edu
		...rutgers!cit-vax!gap.cco.caltech.edu!palmer
	I have the power to cloud men's minds -- or at least my own.

In article <17...@nigel.udel.EDU>, n...@udel.EDU (Darren New) writes:
> My favorite was always
>   BNNL - Branch to Never-Nevel Land

Back when our VAX system was spelled PDP-11, the Director of Computer Services
issued a list of mnemonics that he was planning to implement.  Though I can't
remember most of them, the one that I was most in favor of was

	RWE	Read Wrong and Erase

This is obviously an instruction that has been installed on the computers of
some of my creditors, judging from the answers I get when inquiring about
bills!

g...@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Brian L. Stuart) writes:
>Well one
>day I decided to configure the RK07 so that the root file system was
>at one end of the disk and the swap space was at the other.

>That was before I understood how much UNIX uses the swap space.

...and the root partition :-).

jim frost
saber software
ji...@saber.com

pai...@cs.strath.ac.uk (Paul Aitken) writes:

}In alt.folklore.computers, ai...@castle.ed.ac.uk (Paul D. Crowley) wrote:

}>On a BBC Micro the command
}>REPEAT: MOTOR ON: MOTOR OFF: UNTIL FALSE
}>will blow the relay that controls the cassette motor.   It goes sort of
}>Bzzzzzzzzzzzzt! and stops.   I've never done it, I've just been told.

}Well, I've actually done it. The relay in question didn't actually blow
}(probably beacuse I realised that I'd have to pay for a new one and stopped it
}in time :-) ). The noise is better with a small delay between the MOTOR ON and
}MOTOR OFF commands though (which, BTW, should be OSCLI "MOTOR ON" since it's the
}OS that controls the relay and not BASIC).

So did someone write a program to play music on the relay? 

  /B\

In article <12...@front.se> p...@front.se (Per Lindberg) writes:
>
>The Diablo typewheel printer has a rather massive printing head. If
>you've ever seen one in action, you probably noticed that the table it
>was standing on... rocked.
>
>One of the gedanken pranks discussed at Stacken, the computer club at
>KTH (Royal Inst. of Tech. in Stockholm) was a file called DIABLO.VLT
>-- the .VLT stands for VALT, or topple in english.  It's a file,
>which, if you print it on the Diablo, will topple the table by
>thrashing the print head back and forth at the table's resonance
>frequency.

Back when I worked for a civil engineering firm, I noted that an
HP-7596 Draftmaster I plotter would move at a different speed,
depending on the length of its seek.  This would yield a kind of
ephemeral 'music' while someone was plotting out a minor subdivision
plan or some such.  Has anybody done the research to be able to get an
HP-7596 to play real music?

-- 
Internet: r...@eddie.mit.edu             |  Copyright:  Protecting your right to
Bitnet:   RS@SESTAK                    |              copy software. ---RMS
X.25:     PSI%0240200101905::KICKI::RS |  

In article <1990Apr29....@eddie.mit.edu> r...@eddie.MIT.EDU (Robert E. Seastrom) writes:
>
>Back when I worked for a civil engineering firm, I noted that an
>HP-7596 Draftmaster I plotter would move at a different speed,
>depending on the length of its seek.  This would yield a kind of
>ephemeral 'music' while someone was plotting out a minor subdivision
>plan or some such.  Has anybody done the research to be able to get an
>HP-7596 to play real music?
 
Not an HP Draftmaster.  But a friend of mine wrote a program for a DG
Nova and Tektronix screen-memory terminal that used bell characters to
make tones controlled by the keyboard.  Its features included tremulant
and automatic arpeggios.  The program was called "piano" and may still
exist on some Finnigan Instruments GC/MS systems.  It wound up being
shipped as standard software.

						phil

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
	Opinions outside attributed quotations are mine alone.
	Satirical material may not be specifically labeled as such.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------


-- 
  |  ph...@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG 		 | Phil Gustafson
  |  (ames|pyramid|vsi1)!zorch!phil 	 | UNIX/Graphics Consultant
i |					 | 1550 Martin Ave., San Jose CA 95126
  |					 | 408/286-1749

[Cassette motor music]

On the subject of BBC computers and music; nobody has yet factored
in that most wonderous of networking systems, Ethernet.  This system had 
the wonderful facility of allowing any station to read and write arbitary 
segments of the memory map any other station, unless that station 
had selected software protection.  Since the default state was off, people
decided to take advantage of this security enhancing feature.  Two programs
would be written to produce 3 parts of a six voice tune each.  These programs
would then be sent to the two stations to the left and right of the victim, and
then executed simultaneously.  As the stereo sound floated around him, his 
own cassette motor would start adding some precussion.  The effects were,
interesting.  

--
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
zmacx07@uk.ac.ic.doc | sispe...@specialix.co.uk | ..!ukc!slxsys!cix!sispero
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can programming be liberated from the Von Neumann style? No FP, No Comment.
"The GNU Manifesto refers to all Software, not just Editors"    | (I'm the FSF)
					

In article <12...@front.se> p...@front.se (Per Lindberg) writes:
>Another similar fight-hardware-with-software story was told when
>Stacken visited the IBM printer factory, where they made those
>chainsaw... sorry chain printers. Someone had figured out a way to
>make *all* the hammers fire simultaneously...

The paleoelectronic version of this :-) is what is said to have happened if
you fed an all-holes-punched card through a high-speed card duplicator.  This
was a gadget that punched all the holes at once, not one column at a time.
Normally it went "chunk! chunk! chunk! chunk!" as it ran.  Slip a lace-
curtain card into a deck, and "chunk! chunk! !!**WHAM**!! chunk! chunk!",
with the floor shaking at the obvious time.  I never saw it myself, but
people who did say it was most impressive.

All-holes-punched cards are generally awfully hard on card equipment.
-- 
If OSI is the answer, what is |     Henry Spencer at U of Toronto Zoology
the question?? -Rolf Nordhagen| uunet!attcan!utzoo!henry he...@zoo.toronto.edu

A friend of mine once noticed that the Calcomp plotter on an IBM mainframe
had separate bits for left, right, forward, backward, pen up, and pen down.
Normally, of course, the software generated command words that only had one
bit on each axis turned on.  He tried turning them all on.  The plotter sat
there, motionless, making a horrible grinding noise...
-- 
If OSI is the answer, what is |     Henry Spencer at U of Toronto Zoology
the question?? -Rolf Nordhagen| uunet!attcan!utzoo!henry he...@zoo.toronto.edu

In alt.folklore.computers, ai...@castle.ed.ac.uk (Paul D. Crowley) wrote:
>On a BBC Micro the command
>REPEAT: MOTOR ON: MOTOR OFF: UNTIL FALSE
>will blow the relay that controls the cassette motor.   It goes sort of
>Bzzzzzzzzzzzzt! and stops.   I've never done it, I've just been told.

Back in the 'glory days' of the Radio Shack TRS-80 Model One, this was an
often used method to generate sound.  The TRS-80 used a reed relay switch
and if you kept it flipping open and closed fast enough you were bound
to heat it to the point that it would stick fast in one position.  The
magazines back then often ran articles on how to un-stick your cassette
port relay.

In article <1990Apr30.174552.3362@utzoo.uucp> henry@utzoo.uucp (Henry Spencer) writes:
>
>All-holes-punched cards are generally awfully hard on card equipment.
>-- 

Along these lines, a story from a class I took long long ago (1971).

As the lecturer related it, Honeywell, back even longer ago, had tried to
compete with IBM by inventing a card code that was denser, that is, could
put more information on a standard card.  They were very happy with it,
and spent a large number of dollars developing prototype equipment to
test it.  Of course, putting more information on a card meant punching 
more holes in it, and what they learned from their expensive prototype
system is that a card with a lot of holes is not very rigid anymore, and
promptly jams the reader.

Steve Kelley		kel...@flowcyt.ecn.purdue.edu

Purdue University Cytometry Laboratories

>So did someone write a program to play music on the relay? 
>
>  /B\

While in high school one of the students got an NCR Century 50 ( 8k of real
core) to play Aquarious on a radio sitting on top of a band printer.  I think
he sent a series of non-printable characters to create the different sounds.

Jack Adams.

In the early 80's, I was developing daisy wheel printer electronics at AES Data.
The designer of a daisy wheel printer has to ensure that the daisy wheel comes
to rest before the hammer is energized.  Of course, a fairly common failure
mode (software bugs usually) was to have the hammer fire while the wheel was
at maximum velocity.

We dubbed this the "defoliate daisy" instruction.

-- 
Bruce Walker         ...uunet!utai!lsuc!isgtec!bmw         bmw@isgtec.uucp
"Remember Rule Number 79: When the tough get going, the weak get screwed."
ISG Technologies Inc.  3030 Orlando Dr. Mississauga.   Ont.  Can.  L4V 1S8

Organization: Department of Physics and Astronomy, University of Iowa
Lines: 13

In article <1990Apr30.174755.3467@utzoo.uucp>, henry@utzoo.uucp (Henry Spencer) writes:
> A friend of mine once noticed that the Calcomp plotter on an IBM mainframe

  We still have some of these old dog's on our 11/780 here.  Currently 
they are controlled by a uC that hangs off of a serial port on the VAX.
Control signals to the plotter is via six wires, pen up/down, pen 
left/right and drum fwd/back.  They get used occasionally when someone
wants a long plot and doesn't want to fiddle with the newer fast 
plotters.
  Anyone remember the old 835 microfilm plotter that CalComp made
about that same time???

Willy

I once read that you could do a really nasty thing to some of the first 
CBM PET 2001s.  A certain POKE would stop the electron beam and apparently
destroy the monitor.  I had the POKE and I had access to a 2001, but I 
daren't try it, so I can't say for sure whether it worked or not.  Anybody
out there know more?

      Graham

In article <9158@mbf.UUCP> jack@mbf.UUCP (Jack Adams) writes:
>While in high school one of the students got an NCR Century 50 ( 8k of real
>core) to play Aquarious on a radio sitting on top of a band printer.  I think
>he sent a series of non-printable characters to create the different sounds.
>
>Jack Adams.

When I was at North Staffs Polytechnic, we had a lab full of BBC's.  One
trick that I heard about was when someone loaded a software speech synthesiser
into the machine, then wrote a program that waited until the evening before
uttering the words

	"When it gets late, I like to sit and talk to myself"

The machine, of course, looked as though it had just been switched on, so
nobody expected it.  Apparently it caused quite a stir among those who
were quietly working on the other machines.

Music on the BBC was fun to play with.  I wrote a system that allowed you
to code music in a description language, which would then be compiled into
a program which would play the music under interrupt control.  Since most
of the machines in the lab were networked, we had a demo where each station
would load the program from the fileserver, and then wait for a signal from
a machine designated as the console.  Then they would play this music.  Of
course, the signal was broadcast to all stations, so all the machines would
start playing simultaneously, and rather loudly.  What was interesting was
that there was some propagation delay in the network, so the stations
were not quite in synch - it caused an interesting delayed echo effect that
made the lab seem larger than it was.

After the first demo, the lab technicians turned down the volume on all the
machines :-).

Actually, we had to take one of the machines out of the demo, because it
seemed to like it too much.  For no apparent reason, at unpredictable times,
(but when the demo was in "stand-by" mode) it would reset itself, log itself
onto the network, load the music program, and attempt to play it.  All it
did, however, was make a horrible series of beeps ...

I am not kidding you, by the way.

Stephen
-- 
  Never give   |  Stephen Thomas
  fate an      |  JANET: sp...@ukc.ac.uk
  even chance  |  Telephone: +44 (0)227 764000 ext 3824
               |  Snail: Computing Lab, University of Kent at Canterbury, UK.

In article <33...@baird.cs.strath.ac.uk> pai...@cs.strath.ac.uk writes:
>                	 	if ( under_nuc_attack = YES ) 
>              				retaliate(); 

... yet another reason to be dubious about SDI... :-)

							spl (the p stands for
							putting my fingers in
							my ears and waiting
							for the kaboom.)
--
Steve Lamont, sciViGuy	(919) 248-1120		EMail:	s...@ncsc.org
NCSC (The other one), Box 12732, Research Triangle Park, NC 27709
Don't send in no bums.  I want deals.
				-John Steinbeck, _The Grapes of Wrath_

Hi!

Back then when me and a couple of fellow students were younger we had a
speech synthesizer for the Commodore 64 (S.A.M. was the synth called).  We
preprogrammed a couple of phrases in a 'synth voice' so that they could
be triggered by pressing only one key duirng a conversation.  Then we call-
ed (mostly people we knew, though) by telephone having a dialog sort of
this:

   [C64] "Hello, this is the automatic telephone *CALLER* of Helsinki area
          telephone company." (at this point we waited the opposite end to
          answer and then manually triggered the following) "We are testing
          this new equipment and would like your co-operation.  Please spell
          or clearly pronounce your name ... " etc etc 

The conversation was, of course held in Finnish so that the jokees would not
become suspicious.  I'm still wondering whether the HTC ever sent the towels
we'd promised for co-operation or whether people ever called 'back' to them
to ask for it by the time we had already found something less radical to
invent.  Fun it was, anyway.

Disclaimer: In order to avoid legal consequences, it is stated that the event
described in this story may or may not have actually happened, and that no
detail of the story can be assumed true or false.

terveisin: Risto Lankinen

-- 
Risto Lankinen / product specialist ***************************************
Nokia Data Systems, Technology Dept *  2                              2   *
THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK * 2 -1 is PRIME!  Now working on 2 +1 *
replies: ri...@yj.data.nokia.fi     ***************************************

In alt.folklore.computers, s...@duck.ncsc.org (Steve Lamont) wrote:

>In article <33...@baird.cs.strath.ac.uk> pai...@cs.strath.ac.uk writes:
>>                	 	if ( under_nuc_attack = YES ) 
>>              				retaliate(); 
>
>... yet another reason to be dubious about SDI... :-)


You'd be surprised at how *few* people seem to have noticed that :-(

BTW, I'm a student, and have nothing to do with work on SDI.


-- 
     _____
    (  /  )
      /~~~          This is the University of Strathclyde, Glasgow, Scotland.
     / aul		(Glasgow is the European City of Culture, 1990.)

In article <679@tuura.UUCP> risto@tuura.UUCP (Risto Lankinen) writes:
>Hi!
>
>Back then when me and a couple of fellow students were younger we had a
>speech synthesizer for the Commodore 64 (S.A.M. was the synth called).  We
>preprogrammed a couple of phrases in a 'synth voice' so that they could
>be triggered by pressing only one key duirng a conversation.  Then we call-
>ed (mostly people we knew, though)

I did this with the good old TI-99 and a voice synthesizer.  It had a
more realistic sounding voice, and was perfect for the occasion.  I
programmed about 30 phrases into the computer that could be spoken
with the touch of a button.  Whenever a person would call, I'd hold
the phone to the TV speaker and listen to them, deciding what to have
the "automated home computer phone answering system" to say next.
It's amazing how people will trust technology, in the days when we
didn't even have any speech recognition.

	Darrin

mdchaney@iubacs
mdch...@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu
mdch...@rose.ucs.indiana.edu